Today's Funny (Note: I want to try this in Walmart)

Submitted by Skibum
-------------------

Husband Banned from Target

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

This may yet JUST begin to address my space issues. :-)

Definitely less expensive than a full-fledged setup the likes of Dell or EMC but still not "cheap" for the home enthusiast as myself.  Seriously though, I have either serious issues or truly rose to a new level if I need to start setting up things like this.  That said, would be damn fun trying it out.

Petabytes on a budget: How to build cheap cloud storage | Backblaze Blog

Brush up on your High Holidays!

As well as many other things.

I may not be Jewish but being married to a person that is means to at least have some understanding and participation in the things and times that are important to her.  Truth be told, there are times I am the better Jew, lol.  Anyhow, it is important to my DW so that makes it important to me.  Important days are coming up in the Jewish Calendar including the New Year and Day of Atonement.  This site provides plain language explanations for all of it.

Enjoy.

Jewish New Year: High Holidays 2009, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot and Simchat Torah

When you just HAVE to have it!

Thanks to JN for posting this on FB.  I think the point I want to make is that this guy was playing a harmless game, in a harmless location, harmlessly.  He was stupid if he was talking to other players on the microphone in the middle of the library.  Other than that though, would you rather him hassling you for money on a street corner or worse yet, robbing you or carjacking you?

Get a grip people.

Guy Busted for Stealing WiFi at NYC Library — to Play Halo - Halo - Kotaku