Humour

These come to you by way of a friend out in the Prairies. DW and I are like CityTV; we're everywhere!
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A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

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Eighteen-year old Johnny, an Altar Boy, entered the confession booth and promptly began with “Bless me Father for I have sinned, I have been with a girl in the Biblical sense.”

To which the Priest responded, “Who was it Johnny?”

The reply came, “I will not say Father”.

The Priest pressed on, “Was it Maria Conciglione?”

“No Father.”

“Was it Paula Mangione?”

“No Father”

“Was it that wayward young lady Christina Abalone?”

“No Father, please don’t ask me again.”

“Very well Johnny. But for your penance you shall not permitted to join the others at the Altar for the next month. Now say three Hail Marys and off you go.”

Upon completion, Johnny left and met up with his friend who asked, “So what happened?”

Johnny responded, “Wow. It’s fantastic! I got four weeks vacation and three promising new prospects.”