There will be no sarcasm, no smart-ass remarks, no jokes (though it would be welcomed and understood). Today, there will simply be some reflection and some sadness.
On May 30th, 2007, Virginia "Gina" Marie Martin passed away after a long, hard battle with breast cancer. She would have been 47 on July 4th of this year. While I have had cancer touch my family in my ways, many times (my grandmother had it, my MIL had it and there have been various other occurrences of it through my family history), no one I know of, or have been close to, has succumbed to it and died of the disease... no one until Gina that is.
While not an immediate or blood relative, Gina and her husband Jeff are considered family to my brood. Two more genuine people you will not have had the pleasure of meeting. There has never been any pretense with these two; no agenda or hidden purpose and meaning. There was nothing in your face but there was truth and honesty and sincerity. I know it sounds like an unrealistic build-up of someone recently passed but anyone that knew her would tell the same. Gina was one in a million.
DW met Gina at Ryerson Polytechnical Institute in Toronto almost 30 years ago and have remained friends since. In the same way DW had to meet certain people and pass the grade, so to speak, Gina was one of those people she was most nervous for me to meet because her friend's opinion meant that much to her. Thankfully I passed muster and we have had many a BBQ and various gatherings where we got together and enjoyed good times.
When Gina was diagnosed, she did not tell a lot of people because in that regard she was a very private person. Only when we asked her to be a part of our wedding did she finally have to tell DW what was going on as she was at the tail end of a treatment and may not have the strength for everything she would need to do and be a part of as a bridesmaid. Well, to ensure her friend's wedding was a great event, and that she was part of it, Gina worked very hard to make sure she was there and that she could enjoy herself; she was and she did. And we will be eternally grateful that even in the midst of her own challenges and pain, she thought of DW and I.
About a year and a half ago, we lost contact with them. We emailed, we called, we emailed some more; all attempts to reach them went unanswered. We knew that was a sign that things were not good and as much as we wanted to camp out and make her let us be a part of this part of her life, it was not our place to do so. So, we did not do the one thing we knew would make us get the contact we strained for; we did not go to the house. We had to respect her wishes and as much as it hurt us, we stayed away. Part of me wishes we had not, but I am satisfied that we respected our friend's final wishes. I am just saddened we did not get a chance to say goodbye.
Gina was in the hospital for about a month before finally losing her battle with cancer. A funny, witty, vibrant young woman taken in her prime. A loving husband left alone in the home they shared with an uncertain future as to what is next, including whether to stay in Toronto since "there is nothing keeping me here". Four older sibling, already without parents who both passed, now losing the gel, the light of the their incredible family. A co-worker that people would give part of their pay to have on their team. A friend that is always there when you needed her the most, someone who would not forget you and who you never had to guess about.
Gina was all of these things to a great many people. Our condolences to the entire Martin family and especially to Jeff. Words simply cannot heal the loss nor can it properly convey the sorrow in that loss. She will be remembered in our continued interaction as time rolls on. You've had a long road Gina, rest now and know that Jeff will be taken care of by all those who loved you. You will be missed greatly my friend.
Peace.
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