Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
Today's Funny
Submitted by BT from MTL
------------------------
Ever wonder how a fight gets started? ......read these.....
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************************
My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....
***********************************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's how the fight started.....
****** ******************************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************************
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
************************************************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
" No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
***********************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started.....
**************************************************************
------------------------
Ever wonder how a fight gets started? ......read these.....
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************************
My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....
***********************************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's how the fight started.....
****** ******************************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************************
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
************************************************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
" No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
***********************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started.....
**************************************************************
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