Two potatoes on a street corner...one of the potatoes is a prostitute...how can you tell which one?
It has a little sticker on it that says :I-DA-HO.
__________________________________________
In Mrs. Jones' kindergarden class, she was attempting to teach her students colors and flavors using Life Savers. She handed a pack to each of the kids and ran through the gamut of candy.
"What color is this one?" She held up the cherry-red life saver.
"Red!" said Sally.
"Good," said Mrs. Jones "What flavor is it?"
"Cherry!" Sally squealed.
"Excellent!" said Mrs. Jones.
Mrs. Jones continued throughout the pack...grape, pineapple, then she stumbled on the honey life savers. The kids knew the color, but couldn't get the flavor.
"Ok, try and think about what your Mommy calls your Daddy" Mrs. Jones suggested to her students.
Little Johnny stands up...
"QUICK GUYS! SPIT 'EM OUT! WE'RE EATIN' ASSHOLES!!!!"
Monday, February 27, 2006
GRAND THEFT AMERICA
Submitted by DW
No, it's not a game, at least not to the majority of people not holding the kind of power necessary to pull off such a scam of this magnitude.
Not sure about you but the more I read and see and hear about Bush, the more I want to watch Stephen King's The Dead Zone again to see if they really were not talking about him.
May we all live to see the end of his term. Amen.
Ciao.
GRAND THEFT AMERICA
No, it's not a game, at least not to the majority of people not holding the kind of power necessary to pull off such a scam of this magnitude.
Not sure about you but the more I read and see and hear about Bush, the more I want to watch Stephen King's The Dead Zone again to see if they really were not talking about him.
May we all live to see the end of his term. Amen.
Ciao.
GRAND THEFT AMERICA
A movie review
Submitted by Amitis the Great
------------------------------
Running Scared
I am just too lazy to write a review. You can quote me on your blog: “KICK-ASS MOVIE” – Amitis the Great!
------------------------------
Running Scared
I am just too lazy to write a review. You can quote me on your blog: “KICK-ASS MOVIE” – Amitis the Great!
TheStar.com - Black: A divisive unifier
Link submitted by LB
----------------------
This continues on the previous story. Again, and they say it outright in this story, there is the use of colour and how it is applied in the community to divide and conquer and otherwise very strong and purposeful mass. Sadly, I highly doubt that in my lifetime there will be much change. I for one will not allow my family to fall victim to the atypical "victim" state of mind. I am where I am because I CHOSE to accept things as they are. I have the ability to change it if I really want to. No matter the number of positive or negative influences outside that affect me, ultimately I make my own destiny.
Peace.
TheStar.com - Black: A divisive unifier
----------------------
This continues on the previous story. Again, and they say it outright in this story, there is the use of colour and how it is applied in the community to divide and conquer and otherwise very strong and purposeful mass. Sadly, I highly doubt that in my lifetime there will be much change. I for one will not allow my family to fall victim to the atypical "victim" state of mind. I am where I am because I CHOSE to accept things as they are. I have the ability to change it if I really want to. No matter the number of positive or negative influences outside that affect me, ultimately I make my own destiny.
Peace.
TheStar.com - Black: A divisive unifier
TheStar.com - Shades of black
Link submitted by LB
-----------------
It is simply not enough to read the story on this page; you need to read the links to each of the identified families as well. Also, I think, though the story focuses on the "black" community, others can identify with this as well. If because your family carries a heavy British accent that it creeps into your speech, even though you were born here, people will assume (naturally) that you may not have been born here. Therein lies the difference though; you ANYONE in the black community, it is assumed that you had to be born anywhere but here.
Our child, and all our nieces and nephews (except for the Chicago crew) were born in Canada. First generation Canadians of Trinidadian parents; except for LB's son who is technically second generation (though mother was not born here); too confusing, let DW hammer that one through.
I think it is an interesting point that the article brings up and it also touches upon a problem in the so-called "black" community. While we may share a common pigment identification, we typically share little else. It is the strange catch-22 of our society. We are all lumpepd together when something negative happens, but we are all kept apart when attempting to foster something positive.
However, will we come together and be strong? Hmm, if I was a conspiracy thinking individual, I might be inclined to think that was exactly the point (just as it has been from the first day our forefathers were taken from the old homeland). And do not get me wrong, I am not playing the so-called "race card" or looking for unlimited sympathy. I believe that the past is to be remembered and learned from but we all must move on from it. It is time to stop looking for what someone can give to us and to start giving it to ourselves.
Our parents came here because they believed that we could get more out of life in this new country. no offence to my family in Trinidad, but when I go back, no matter what progressed has been made, I understand how good we have it up here and the things we take for granted. Hot and cold, clean runnning water at the twist of the tap. Instant on electricity. Fresh vegetables that do not cost a week's wages (one I will never understand since the lazy coconuts can just grow the damn stuff themselves in a humid, caribbean climate). COURTEOUS knowledgeable store staff (MY GAWD you do not know how much this one irks me). Roads that do not try, for the most part, to disengage the wheels from the axle. Safe streets (yes, it has gotten real bad down there). Health care. HEALTH CARE!!
Anyhow, there are many topics that can bridge from this one. I welcome comment or a start of discussion on any of them; don't be shy, there is nothing untouchable for me. Still, if nothing else, read the stories and think twice the next time "Where are you from?" pops into your head to ask someone. Simply changing it to "Where is your family from?" or "What generation Canadian is your family/you?" could make all the difference in the world to include rather than exclude the person you are talking to.
This is my Canada too.
Peace.
TheStar.com - Shades of black
-----------------
It is simply not enough to read the story on this page; you need to read the links to each of the identified families as well. Also, I think, though the story focuses on the "black" community, others can identify with this as well. If because your family carries a heavy British accent that it creeps into your speech, even though you were born here, people will assume (naturally) that you may not have been born here. Therein lies the difference though; you ANYONE in the black community, it is assumed that you had to be born anywhere but here.
Our child, and all our nieces and nephews (except for the Chicago crew) were born in Canada. First generation Canadians of Trinidadian parents; except for LB's son who is technically second generation (though mother was not born here); too confusing, let DW hammer that one through.
I think it is an interesting point that the article brings up and it also touches upon a problem in the so-called "black" community. While we may share a common pigment identification, we typically share little else. It is the strange catch-22 of our society. We are all lumpepd together when something negative happens, but we are all kept apart when attempting to foster something positive.
However, will we come together and be strong? Hmm, if I was a conspiracy thinking individual, I might be inclined to think that was exactly the point (just as it has been from the first day our forefathers were taken from the old homeland). And do not get me wrong, I am not playing the so-called "race card" or looking for unlimited sympathy. I believe that the past is to be remembered and learned from but we all must move on from it. It is time to stop looking for what someone can give to us and to start giving it to ourselves.
Our parents came here because they believed that we could get more out of life in this new country. no offence to my family in Trinidad, but when I go back, no matter what progressed has been made, I understand how good we have it up here and the things we take for granted. Hot and cold, clean runnning water at the twist of the tap. Instant on electricity. Fresh vegetables that do not cost a week's wages (one I will never understand since the lazy coconuts can just grow the damn stuff themselves in a humid, caribbean climate). COURTEOUS knowledgeable store staff (MY GAWD you do not know how much this one irks me). Roads that do not try, for the most part, to disengage the wheels from the axle. Safe streets (yes, it has gotten real bad down there). Health care. HEALTH CARE!!
Anyhow, there are many topics that can bridge from this one. I welcome comment or a start of discussion on any of them; don't be shy, there is nothing untouchable for me. Still, if nothing else, read the stories and think twice the next time "Where are you from?" pops into your head to ask someone. Simply changing it to "Where is your family from?" or "What generation Canadian is your family/you?" could make all the difference in the world to include rather than exclude the person you are talking to.
This is my Canada too.
Peace.
TheStar.com - Shades of black
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Slashdot | In Sony's Stumble, the Ghost of Betamax
Sony needs to have its head examined. Even the Big Blue (IBM to non-geeks) learned the lesson that standing on an island proclaiming it is the best land leaves in one place; on an island, alone. Sony did that with Betamax; rest in peace. Sony did that with Mini-Disc; rest in peace. Sony did that with Memory Stick and UMD; rest in peace (yeah, they are on a lifeline with the PSP but consider them dead). Sony did that with a very stupid MicroMV format (MiniDV rules); rest in peace.
Now, they want to do this shit again withthe next generation of DVD products? Why have they not learned that people do not like to be pigeon-holed and told they have only one choice? We, the consumers, have many choices and it is an expensive manufacturing mistake to not listen. It cost the industry a lot of money in adoption time and bloody warfare when DVD-R and DVD+R formats butted heads at the beginnig of the DVD revolution. Eventually, both sides survived but they are essentially made moot by the device manufacturers supporting all used formats. This will not be the case here for some time and that means buying one and missing out on the other, or buying both and spending a lot for early adoption. Businesses will not do that and will buy whatever is bundled with the systems they purchase.
Microsoft will back and bundle one type, seemingly in spite or defiance of the Sony backed standard which will show up it the delayed PS3 (last heard, one year out now). To Micro$oft's credit, their solution will enable a change to the other format if things tank and sour quickly on their chosen format. The simple fact of the matter is that the consumer will once again get caught in the middle of this latest version of the Hatfield's and the McCoys. And really, why should we have to do that again?
This is 2006 and I for one will not be purchasing either format until they get their shit together. I did not buy my first burner until I had a real need for it (a Pioneer so I could easily use it with my Mac and PC). My second burner was an LG and it was the first multi-format drive that burned DVD-R, DVD+R and DVD-RAM as well as all CD formats. I suspect that a lot of early adopters like myself will sit this fight out. this will hinder price drops, development of products to take advantage of the new standard(s) and growth in an industry that seems to be grappling to provide new toys for us to drool over and spend our hard earned cash on.
We are pretty much stagnant in terms of what we want and need from a system. Hell, in terms of simply getting email, instant messaging, writing some docs and web surfing, those taks can still be accomplished by a Pentium-classed machine quite admirably. When Windows XP first came out, everyone said you had to have at least a PentiumII to run it; I first installed in on a Pentium P166 with 512MB of RAM to show it can be done and works fine for simple taks. Mind you, with all the crap you have to add to it now (i.e. virus checkers, spy checkers, firewalls, that pig SP2 and more), I am starting to find living with a Pentium 4 2.6GHz and an AMD 2600+ just a little bit too slow because I do a lot of video and audio transcoding so I need more floating point crunching power (maybe for my birthday, hint, hint).
Anyhow, maybe they will buy a clue and realize that two formats is the least desrible outcome and fix this before it gets out of hand.
And maybe Betamax will make a comeback.
Peace.
Slashdot | In Sony's Stumble, the Ghost of Betamax
Now, they want to do this shit again withthe next generation of DVD products? Why have they not learned that people do not like to be pigeon-holed and told they have only one choice? We, the consumers, have many choices and it is an expensive manufacturing mistake to not listen. It cost the industry a lot of money in adoption time and bloody warfare when DVD-R and DVD+R formats butted heads at the beginnig of the DVD revolution. Eventually, both sides survived but they are essentially made moot by the device manufacturers supporting all used formats. This will not be the case here for some time and that means buying one and missing out on the other, or buying both and spending a lot for early adoption. Businesses will not do that and will buy whatever is bundled with the systems they purchase.
Microsoft will back and bundle one type, seemingly in spite or defiance of the Sony backed standard which will show up it the delayed PS3 (last heard, one year out now). To Micro$oft's credit, their solution will enable a change to the other format if things tank and sour quickly on their chosen format. The simple fact of the matter is that the consumer will once again get caught in the middle of this latest version of the Hatfield's and the McCoys. And really, why should we have to do that again?
This is 2006 and I for one will not be purchasing either format until they get their shit together. I did not buy my first burner until I had a real need for it (a Pioneer so I could easily use it with my Mac and PC). My second burner was an LG and it was the first multi-format drive that burned DVD-R, DVD+R and DVD-RAM as well as all CD formats. I suspect that a lot of early adopters like myself will sit this fight out. this will hinder price drops, development of products to take advantage of the new standard(s) and growth in an industry that seems to be grappling to provide new toys for us to drool over and spend our hard earned cash on.
We are pretty much stagnant in terms of what we want and need from a system. Hell, in terms of simply getting email, instant messaging, writing some docs and web surfing, those taks can still be accomplished by a Pentium-classed machine quite admirably. When Windows XP first came out, everyone said you had to have at least a PentiumII to run it; I first installed in on a Pentium P166 with 512MB of RAM to show it can be done and works fine for simple taks. Mind you, with all the crap you have to add to it now (i.e. virus checkers, spy checkers, firewalls, that pig SP2 and more), I am starting to find living with a Pentium 4 2.6GHz and an AMD 2600+ just a little bit too slow because I do a lot of video and audio transcoding so I need more floating point crunching power (maybe for my birthday, hint, hint).
Anyhow, maybe they will buy a clue and realize that two formats is the least desrible outcome and fix this before it gets out of hand.
And maybe Betamax will make a comeback.
Peace.
Slashdot | In Sony's Stumble, the Ghost of Betamax
5 bodies with throats slashed found on Jamaican beach, west of Kingston
Slashing seems to be the method of choice this month. not sure if these folks were tourists as well but I think we will be sticking with areas actually likes people being there (hello Sint Maarten).
5 bodies with throats slashed found on Jamaican beach, west of Kingston
5 bodies with throats slashed found on Jamaican beach, west of Kingston
Submitted by BT in MTL
Subject: Fw: Alcohol Problem
A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a blonde lady who is sitting by herself.
Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."
Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Lady: " No, they spread".
A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a blonde lady who is sitting by herself.
Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."
Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Lady: " No, they spread".
Sicko Marriage Contract One For The Ages - February 17, 2006
Ok, normally I would have a smart-ass comment if only to incite the wrath of DW and her fellow females. With this, I got nothing and I am not brave enough to try. It is simply unreal. Are we really in the year 2006? I have to wonder sometimes.
Peace.
Sicko Marriage Contract One For The Ages - February 17, 2006
Peace.
Sicko Marriage Contract One For The Ages - February 17, 2006
DivX.com : Super Sunday Ads - Bud Light: Magic Fridge
For those of you fellow Canadians whose grey and black market sat dishes no longer work, making you suffer through the atrocious ads overlayed by the simulcast rules of this backward TV nation, suffer no more. Go to this site and watch all the best Super Bowl Sunday Ads those dumbasses made you miss. Then leave me a note and I will tell you how to put that old dish back to good use. :)
Ciao.
DivX.com : Super Sunday Ads - Bud Light: Magic Fridge
Ciao.
DivX.com : Super Sunday Ads - Bud Light: Magic Fridge
Submitted by BT in MTL
Yesterday is history Tomorrow a mystery Today is a gift that's why it's called the present.
THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE DREARY OLD BIRDS AND BEES or the CAR & the Garage stories...
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and it was too late to hit the delete button. Nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male!"
THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE DREARY OLD BIRDS AND BEES or the CAR & the Garage stories...
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and it was too late to hit the delete button. Nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male!"
Submitted by BT in MTL
For those non too fond of Mr. Bush....read on
----------------------------------
Subject: OOOOPS!
Why Not?
Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.
"Just think," he said, "when I am president, I could have a gold urinal, too. But I wouldn't do anything that self-indulgent!"
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told face Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal. That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who pissed in your saxophone".
----------------------------------
Subject: OOOOPS!
Why Not?
Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.
"Just think," he said, "when I am president, I could have a gold urinal, too. But I wouldn't do anything that self-indulgent!"
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told face Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal. That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who pissed in your saxophone".
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Today's funny - Submitted by DoubleD
Adult Fairy Tales
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, ..Peter, Peter, something or other..."
___________________________________________
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
_________________________________________
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.
"What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, ..Peter, Peter, something or other..."
___________________________________________
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
_________________________________________
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.
"What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Ouch, she got me!!
Ok. MsMittens tagged me with this:
QUOTE:
1. Thank the person that tagged you.
2. List 5 random/strange/weird things about you.
3. Tag 5 other people.
1. So.. thanks MsM! :)
2.
i. I am very putgoing but I get lonely in a crowd.
ii. "Touch" is my most important sense; "Speech" is my most developed.
iii. I love musicals; Sound of Music and Mary Poppins are my favourites.
iv. I LOVE rollercoasters and scary-heights rides but I have slight Acrophobia .
v. I've never crossed the Atlantic, been further west than Hawaii, further south than Trinidad or further north in Ontario than Sudbury (and I still did not get to see the Nickel).
3. Mossy, Penny, DW (yes, YOU), LB (yes, YOU too) and Cricket; you're up.
QUOTE:
1. Thank the person that tagged you.
2. List 5 random/strange/weird things about you.
3. Tag 5 other people.
1. So.. thanks MsM! :)
2.
i. I am very putgoing but I get lonely in a crowd.
ii. "Touch" is my most important sense; "Speech" is my most developed.
iii. I love musicals; Sound of Music and Mary Poppins are my favourites.
iv. I LOVE rollercoasters and scary-heights rides but I have slight Acrophobia .
v. I've never crossed the Atlantic, been further west than Hawaii, further south than Trinidad or further north in Ontario than Sudbury (and I still did not get to see the Nickel).
3. Mossy, Penny, DW (yes, YOU), LB (yes, YOU too) and Cricket; you're up.
For Geeks Eyes Only
A new feature on this blog. I'll highlight these posts that will typically only be of interest to gear heads like myself. Feel free to skip over them if it is simply not your thing; I won't feel offended. :)
Main Page - Mactel-Linux
Main Page - Mactel-Linux
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Tech Support
As an official IT person for, whoah, a decade now, it was inevitable that I became the family and friend's tech support. Now, as much as I am a geek who lives and loves tech, there are times when I simply do not want to deal with it and when I don't want to hear about other people's problems. These days that is everyday at work even though that is my job, but that is a post for another day.
Over the years, I did my best to get all my siblings (two brothers, one sister, two older, one younger) online and connected so that we can converse regularly across the Internet for free; that has worked out with mixed results. The LB and I talk via email and/or MSN almost daily and we videoconference when we have the time and working systems. The OB is an electrician and knows enough to be dangerous but simply is too stubborn to get into the flow of the tules and the wave of the good stuff. The OS uses technology but does not enjoy it per se like the three brothers; her son has that distinction while her daughter, well, nevermind her for now.
Right now, I have my father's machine sitting behind me for the last week waiting for me to transfer the contents to a different hard drive. I did that once already but either the drive or the memory is producing regular blue screens so it renders the machine unusable. I have had no real time to tackle it yet but I want it out this week. I also have to finish our daughter's computer so that it can go back upsatirs for her to use to do her homework. We will be instituting some new lockdowns on the network that will give us more peace of mind (read wiretapping) and stricter controls on her web access and such (see Dateline's How to catch a Predator III).
In addition, the OS needs me to help her with specing out a laptop (which I can do easily once I receive the info I asked for a coupel of weeks ago) and to help her with software to get her typing speed and accuracy increased (read Mavis Beacon, the only one worth looking at). The MIL wanted DW and I to assist her manservant, er, friend, in his new woes of computer issues. We built the computer, we rebuilt it, we fixed it again after that and we fixed his mail and virus issue once more after that before we but the kibbosh on doing any more support for anyone. There was a cousin too that I kind of speeched off about using the DW as her personal tech support whilst not showing any real family affinty and such; did not go over well but she uses a service instead of us now. I wonder if we will eb inviting to the pool party this summer? Ah well.
Anyhow, we simply have no time for doing it for everyone anymore but especially those people that do not go out of their way to learn anything to keep it from happening again. Thsi is 2006, not the middle ages people! So, we offed that situation to the designated folks they have chosen to look at the issue and offered suggestions with no hint of us being remotely involved in the execution of such.
It just rankles me as we used to get calls on Sunday mornings (sleeping) and Sunday nights (relaxing) for this stuff with no understanding that maybe, just maybe, they were intruding on our time together. Not to mention, no understanding on the time and effort it took to do everytthing. We had friends who insisted on paying us for our time when it took only an hour or two and family who not so much as paid for dinner when we sat working in their house for over eight hours.
Anyhow, to those of you who read this that I currently support, no worries, I am still there for ya. Newcomers and leeches, bite me. :)
Peace.
Over the years, I did my best to get all my siblings (two brothers, one sister, two older, one younger) online and connected so that we can converse regularly across the Internet for free; that has worked out with mixed results. The LB and I talk via email and/or MSN almost daily and we videoconference when we have the time and working systems. The OB is an electrician and knows enough to be dangerous but simply is too stubborn to get into the flow of the tules and the wave of the good stuff. The OS uses technology but does not enjoy it per se like the three brothers; her son has that distinction while her daughter, well, nevermind her for now.
Right now, I have my father's machine sitting behind me for the last week waiting for me to transfer the contents to a different hard drive. I did that once already but either the drive or the memory is producing regular blue screens so it renders the machine unusable. I have had no real time to tackle it yet but I want it out this week. I also have to finish our daughter's computer so that it can go back upsatirs for her to use to do her homework. We will be instituting some new lockdowns on the network that will give us more peace of mind (read wiretapping) and stricter controls on her web access and such (see Dateline's How to catch a Predator III).
In addition, the OS needs me to help her with specing out a laptop (which I can do easily once I receive the info I asked for a coupel of weeks ago) and to help her with software to get her typing speed and accuracy increased (read Mavis Beacon, the only one worth looking at). The MIL wanted DW and I to assist her manservant, er, friend, in his new woes of computer issues. We built the computer, we rebuilt it, we fixed it again after that and we fixed his mail and virus issue once more after that before we but the kibbosh on doing any more support for anyone. There was a cousin too that I kind of speeched off about using the DW as her personal tech support whilst not showing any real family affinty and such; did not go over well but she uses a service instead of us now. I wonder if we will eb inviting to the pool party this summer? Ah well.
Anyhow, we simply have no time for doing it for everyone anymore but especially those people that do not go out of their way to learn anything to keep it from happening again. Thsi is 2006, not the middle ages people! So, we offed that situation to the designated folks they have chosen to look at the issue and offered suggestions with no hint of us being remotely involved in the execution of such.
It just rankles me as we used to get calls on Sunday mornings (sleeping) and Sunday nights (relaxing) for this stuff with no understanding that maybe, just maybe, they were intruding on our time together. Not to mention, no understanding on the time and effort it took to do everytthing. We had friends who insisted on paying us for our time when it took only an hour or two and family who not so much as paid for dinner when we sat working in their house for over eight hours.
Anyhow, to those of you who read this that I currently support, no worries, I am still there for ya. Newcomers and leeches, bite me. :)
Peace.
Today's funny
Submitted by BT from MTL
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Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy Bob. So, they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So, they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do," said Bob.
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?
Now keep that smile for the rest of the day...
------------------------
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy Bob. So, they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So, they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do," said Bob.
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?
Now keep that smile for the rest of the day...
Monday, February 20, 2006
Obtained from MsMittens
George Carlin's new rules for 2006
New Rule: stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. It's because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket - water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. Don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
New Rule: stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. It's because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket - water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. Don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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