When Insults Had Class

Submitted by LB. Definitely a show of how an insult can be clean and intelligent yet biting instead of simply foul and vulgar.

When Insults Had Class

Friday Humour


1. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

2. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

3. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

4. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

5. "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

7. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

8. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

9. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

10. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

11. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there
is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

12. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you
here."
-- Stephen Bishop

13. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

14. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

15. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in
others."
-- Samuel Johnson

16. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

17. "He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

18. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

19. "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

20. "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

21. "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

22. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily."
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand

23. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

24. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address
on it?"
-- Mark Twain

25. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

26. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

27. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

28. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder