No good deed goes unpunished.
Clare Boothe Luce
I'll be the first to admit to you that I can be a bit of a curmudgeon and a bit of a hard ass at times. Part of it comes from my Trini roots (which I am very proud of), part of it is from my upbringing (which, with a few exceptions, I am also proud of) and part of it comes from my own experiences as I went off on my own until this point in time in my lifeline. I never apologize for the way I handle certain things and, especially when ti comes to children, I believe in the old ways. Yes that does include capital punishment, it does (to a certain extent) include be seen and not heard and speak when spoken to, but ultimately it all drills down to a simple concept: respect.
As I travel through my fortieth year, I still marvel at the language that some parents allow their children to freely use around them. As an adult, living in my own place, with child, second marriage, job, bills and all that life brings, I STILL would not freely cuss in front of my mother and father. I can disagree, I can say no, I can refuse to accept or do things they request but I don't and will never feel comfortable cursing in their presence. It is no longer fear because I can take both of them blindfolded. It is an internal mechanism that my upbringing nurtured into an infused level of respect for who they are.
I had a recent run-in with a family member who I have not seen a lot of. My mistake is thinking that she remembered who I was, was infused in her upbringing with that internal mechanism that said to her "respect above all". How mistaken I was to think this because her actions loudly said otherwise. She is a young adult now and as such is welcome to make her own choices, to disagree with others and follow her own path. That said, unlike some others in her age range that I deal with, she has lost the level of respect that I expect, nay demand, of family members several years my junior. Her younger siblings exhibit it so why does she not? I do not know and frankly for all the effort I have made in the past, I no longer care. Well, this post says otherwise but you know what I mean. When I confronted her message to me as one of disrespect, I expected her to defend her position as not being so and to continue the dialogue to work things out. Instead, she chose to do what she has been infused with: drop, roll and run away. I guess that works for her but it does not work for me. I drove four hours to the hospital she was born in the morning my own mother returned home from the hospital herself; I deserve some respect. Today, she chose to block me on facebook (AKA crackbook) instead of working things out like an adult.
I guess that says it all.
Peace.
Clare Boothe Luce
I'll be the first to admit to you that I can be a bit of a curmudgeon and a bit of a hard ass at times. Part of it comes from my Trini roots (which I am very proud of), part of it is from my upbringing (which, with a few exceptions, I am also proud of) and part of it comes from my own experiences as I went off on my own until this point in time in my lifeline. I never apologize for the way I handle certain things and, especially when ti comes to children, I believe in the old ways. Yes that does include capital punishment, it does (to a certain extent) include be seen and not heard and speak when spoken to, but ultimately it all drills down to a simple concept: respect.
As I travel through my fortieth year, I still marvel at the language that some parents allow their children to freely use around them. As an adult, living in my own place, with child, second marriage, job, bills and all that life brings, I STILL would not freely cuss in front of my mother and father. I can disagree, I can say no, I can refuse to accept or do things they request but I don't and will never feel comfortable cursing in their presence. It is no longer fear because I can take both of them blindfolded. It is an internal mechanism that my upbringing nurtured into an infused level of respect for who they are.
I had a recent run-in with a family member who I have not seen a lot of. My mistake is thinking that she remembered who I was, was infused in her upbringing with that internal mechanism that said to her "respect above all". How mistaken I was to think this because her actions loudly said otherwise. She is a young adult now and as such is welcome to make her own choices, to disagree with others and follow her own path. That said, unlike some others in her age range that I deal with, she has lost the level of respect that I expect, nay demand, of family members several years my junior. Her younger siblings exhibit it so why does she not? I do not know and frankly for all the effort I have made in the past, I no longer care. Well, this post says otherwise but you know what I mean. When I confronted her message to me as one of disrespect, I expected her to defend her position as not being so and to continue the dialogue to work things out. Instead, she chose to do what she has been infused with: drop, roll and run away. I guess that works for her but it does not work for me. I drove four hours to the hospital she was born in the morning my own mother returned home from the hospital herself; I deserve some respect. Today, she chose to block me on facebook (AKA crackbook) instead of working things out like an adult.
I guess that says it all.
Peace.
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