Today's Idiot!

Hello folks, as the weather warms up you will need to be on the lookout for one of three types of fair-weathered fiend:

1. The middle-aged hack - the MAH is what you often see as the weather warms up and those who bought expensive sports cars and convertibles (but never learned how to drive them) are ready to break them out. These folks want to make a statement but unfortunately they fail to realize the statement is usually a scream of "I am an idiot" as they pull maneuvers their old ass no longer has the reflexes to handle. They have no regard for others on the road and are more worried about the dent or scratch on their car than they are off parking in handicapped spots, double parking, cutting folks off or stopping short of the light they had no business trying to race through.

2. The cyclist - I have to be careful not to paint with too wide a brush as my good friend, avid and conscientious cyclist, MsMittens might take offence at being lumped in with the knuckleheads. The good weather brings out those souls who are active enough or determined enough to make the world a greener place, save some gas and bus money and to get in some good exercise. Unfortunately, this group includes the super-idiot courier cyclists, the mis-guided and unhealthy parental units and I-am-invincible-and-do-NOT-need-to-follow-traffic-rules-or-wear-a-helmet goofballs. Be prepared to stop short as these idiots blow through red lights and stop signs, ride on the side, in the middle or where ever they feel and get pissed off at you (the one in the three ton vehicle) as you make a turn that they saw you start with the right of way and attempt to pass you on the right anyways.

3. The walker - not as quick as the cyclist but just as stupid in the belief that if they walk in front of it, it will stop. This person simply steps out on crosswalks without pushing the little button, checking that it is clear and/or pointing out in front of them to indicate that they are about to cross. Apparently, saving twenty minutes waiting for a bus is more important that the two minutes to save their life; let the new Darwin list begin. These folks think that blindly stepping off a curb, several feet from the corner, INTO oncoming traffic, means that you should have seen them. Unfortunately, when you run over their stupid ass, the law says that they were correct.

So, fellow polluters, be wary of the three groups above and be careful out there. The only ones that can ensure you return home safely after reading my blog today is YOU!

Peace.