The hunt is on!

Ok, this is simple. We had a BBQ on the weekend and left some bags ont he back that we knew the little pesky bastards may have their way with. Fine, eat the garbage, spread it over the porch, knock over stuff and piss off the homeowners. That said, the little mammals have simply gone to (*&^(*& far now. The audacity to simply finish eating and taking a dump on the back stoop astounds me. Can you imagine that after finishing your Big Mac(tm) or Whopper(tm) or Spicy Chicken(tm), that you simply dropped trou and shat in the middle of the restaurant? It would definitely get you a few days over at 1001 Queen Street West (the nutfarm, for my out-of-town friends). Nope, we are supposed to "understand" the behaviours of the animals and deal with it.

Ok, they obviously do not know me. I hate the flying recycling bins (seagulls) that insist on fly-by-shitting everywhere. I hate the furry rodents (squirrels) that insist on throwing acorns AT us when we exit the house or sit on the back deck (yes, they aim for us, trust me on this). I hate the big ass black ants that show up every spring to hunt for food for the huge banks of ant bunkers we have in our yard. One gets tired of stamping one's foot or slapping the things off the counter, food, one's leg, etc.

They all pale in comparison to my hatred of the masked bandits (raccoons). These bastards insist on opening and trashing the green bin (food recycling). They push the bricks off our garbage cans, reach into the lid that the little bastards ate through (solid plastic!) or they kick over the cans and strew the contents all over the (*&^%(*& driveway!!!

Of course, if you have a solution to keep them away, I am all ears. I love animals (especially with a nice Merlot or Chardonnay), so my first choice are not to kill them. That said, I am not above drop kicking their carcass into the neighbour's yard that we do not like or at the very least, making Casa Del A------- a less palatable place to eat at.

Any suggestions people?



Racoon poo!