Unfortunately, it is alive and well.

What is you ask? Racism and Prejudice. No matter how people would like to hide the truth, the fact of the matter remains, everyone has a bit of prejudice and stereotyping in them. It has been passed down for generations; strengthened in some families, greatly diminished in others. When I grew up, I was always taught to treat everyone as I wanted to be treated; we were Catholic after all. That was tempered with some really bad experiences that my folks had to endure in order for us to have the choices we have today. From fights in laundry mats, to falling into a city-dug hole and getting nothing for it, to the normal gamut of name calling and finally to being spit upon on a TTC bus (how my mother did not kill the woman that day is beyond me). Personally, each of us in our family (including TC) has experienced the ignorance of others who, not being able to find anything intelligent to do, tried to disrupt us through the power of the right button. Long ago, the button for me was my size and my colour; not so today. That said, when I got together with DW, it was one of many topics that had to be discussed in our newly blended family.

Our family pretty much gets the blended trophy (just one more category to fill to complete the sweep). I am Roman Catholic, DW is Jewish. I was married previously, this is DW's first marriage. I am younger, DW is... not as much young. I have a child from a previous relationship, DW does not. I am black, DW is white. I was born in Trinidad, DW was born in Canada. I am demonstrative and emotional, DW is less so on both counts (but don't press your luck). Now, it is simple to see that one thing really would stand out when the two of us walked down the street. And it is that which I warned her about from the beginning.

Some people in her family was all concerned about the issue surrounding our mixing of religions. I respect the concern but to be frank, it is laughable. No one walking down the street is going to point to me and think, "Hmmm, he 'looks' Catholic." And while there are certain physical attributes of a lot of Jewish people that identifies them as such, you would have to both know and look for them. When I walk down the street, EVERYONE knows that I am black. Understand that this is not a "woe is me" post. I love being black. People tend to move more quickly. People tend to argue less. I've got some sense of rhythm when a song is played. I also have a bit of a bulls-eye on me.

Years ago, I was stopped with my cousin in the car, who looks very East Indian but is as black as I am, downtown one afternoon. The road was blocked off and some men approached our vehicle and I immediately assumed they were cops so I rolled down my window. I was immediately berated with questions from this white asshole youth of a detective (bad cop?). I calmly answered the questions ("Who are you?", "Where are you going?", etc) until he got a bit much and I asked who he was. Apparently, that was a big no-no since he raises his voice and starts firing more questions. Well, apparently he never dealt with Trinis before. I busted his chops with a verbal barrage of my own when his partner stepped him and shut him down. This gentleman (good cop?) apologized, said there was a robbery and that I sort of fit the description. Really? What description would that be? He replied that it was obvious that I was not the suspect they were looking for, thanked me for my time and told me I could go. I was neither amused or pleasant. I told him to have his partner get a grip and learn to speak to people properly and that "big black guy" is not enough to stop a person as a suspect. Did the suspect drive a rare 1990 White Toyota Corolla 4WD Wagon with roof rack? Did the suspect have bags from shopping and an East Indian-looking companion? I did not bother waiting for an answer and drove off in a huff.

More recently, DW and I were walking up Yonge Street with some friends on our way to enjoy many martinis at a local bar in the rainbow village. An older white gentleman, scruffy in exterior (so either just nasty or also homeless), rode up on a bicycle beside us. We were in conversation so did not hear and/or was not paying attention as he uttered some things in passing. My colleague Double-B had this look on his face though and asked if I heard him. On saying no, DB said that the guy repeated a couple of times towards us, "Ha, not with my sister" or "Good thing it's not my sister"; I honestly don't remember which. I just laughed it off because it was a long time since I experienced that kind of open racism in Toronto. Others were more disturbed by it than me. You see, I would rather a person said they disliked me and then stayed away rather than said nothing and muttered under their breath, spoke behind my back or worked against me as a friend or co-worker.

I guess, in a way, I strangely admire the US for being openly ignorant and intolerant in various areas. It is a strange honesty I can understand and respect. It is when it translates into actions of hate that I absolutely cannot put up with. Sucks to be them though. They should check around and see how many drops may be in their blood. They cannot laugh and say it cannot happen. Just ask Thomas Jefferson's long lost relatives. :)

Ciao.