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I know that is a strange title to have but it pretty much sums things up. I could have titled it "The Nerve of Some People" or "The Bitch is Back" or even "Seriously?!?!?". The problem is that they all fit the bill and then they simply do not go far enough to express the right sentiment.

This morning, just after 7:00AM EST, I received a phone call on my Blackberry. This is not unusual as I work on-call so am available to the needy 24/7/365. However, as fate would have it, I was fats asleep so it had already rang twice and I answered it, uncharacteristically, without checking who was calling first.

It was my ex-wife on the phone.

Now, for those of you with exes, you know that this could be good or bad; there is no grey area in the matter. However, those of you who know me and my history with this person know that there is never anything good to come when Barb calls. And so she began my morning, on the 4th day of a new year, with the incredulous request that I go wake our daughter to speak to her. Reasonable you say? Hmm, shall we review for the people? I'll make it quick as I have another blog that I started to chronicle the roller coaster life that I left for the sake of sanity and love. One day, you will be able to read the book.

Barb used the child to try to keep me. Lied to the child about me paying child support. Lied to the child about me calling and erased the callerid and messages as proof. Spoke ill of me in tag-team with her bitch of a mother in front of the child fostering the idea that I was no good, did not want her, did not want to see or talk to her or have anything to do with her. Left the country about three years ago and concealed the fact, despite a requirement of our divorce decree, from the child and myself. In the greatest time of need for her daughter, did nothing to help her, did not call to check on her, did not find her ass back here to support her; did absolutely jack schitt!! Lied to the child and myself saying that she was in London when in fact she has been in Trinidad all this time. Had her worthless parents try to declare me missing and having abandoned the child when in fact that is impossible since I did not have custody at the time. Brought the child to Trinidad during the summer (instead of putting her into summer school where she needed to be) in order to harass the child for four weeks to convince her to leave Canada to go there to live with them. Dipshit grandparents threw the child out into the hallway with no clothes, no money and no assurance of safety after she went to her Godsister's Sweet Sixteen in Montreal with DW and I. Called for the first time since last February to wish the child a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year?!?!?!

And after all that, and trust me that is just the tip of the (*&^(O*& Titanic iceberg, she believes that she is in any position to ask, demand, insist on anything?? She is not only delusional, she is certifiable. I told her I was not waking TC as the child has stated that she does not want to speak to her. Barb said that she wanted to hear it from the child's own mouth. I said, "Why does that matter? I am telling you that. What reason would I have to lie?" She says, "If it were you, and situations were reversed, you would want the same thing." This is when I started to lose my cool. So I told her, "Situations would not be reversed because I would not have pulled the stunts that YOU have!" She had the audacity to ask me, "What stunts?" So, I replied, "Where are you?" She started back on wanting to speak to TC please. I said, "Exactly. You cannot answer a simple question like that and you want to ask me 'what stunts?'?"

This went on for about eight minutes. Finally I said that she can call back at 11AM EST as I was not about to wake TC to speak to her. I also said that should TC not want to speak to her still, I was not going to force her to speak to her, will tell her so and she will have to accept that as it is. Interspersed in this was here meanderings about not wanting to start the new year in an argument with me or anybody for that matter. I thought to myself, "Then why did you make the call? Did you think it would be all sunshine and roses? Are you that f**king stupid?"

So, I sit here, blogging, wondering when to wake TC and discuss this with her. It will not be easy and I am honestly afraid of what this will do to her. She loves her mother but she hates her mother at the same time. Barb hurt that child enough and the wounds and scars are deep. Barb claimed to want to be different than her own mother but the two bitches are cut from the same disgusting, selfish, self-serving, ignorant nasty rag. The child is confused, and hurt, and trying to find herself; trying to regain a sense of worth. I'll be damned if I let those people ruin that.

Unknown to you all, not only has she decided to stay with us permanently, she has remarkably brought up the subject of emancipation and asked if DW would consider fully adopting her. This is not an easy thing for anyone and not something we will pursue without much thought, soul-searching and discussion. It is obviously a dream come true for me in a way but my selfish needs cannot override or guide the needs of both my wife and my daughter. This will be a slow, hard road ahead but we will do it as a family.

As for Barb, my EX-wife, mother of my child, disillusioned, spiteful, selfish, twit that she is. She successfully held of my knowing where she was for a few years though we suspected that she was there. She is acquiescing now because she is well aware of the other item in our decree; the one where in her absence (i.e. left the country) I have the right of first refusal to take care of TC. She knew the moment I had proof she was gone, I could act on it. Well, I have the proof and I will be acting on it. In fact, I already have as TC's grandparents have been barred from seeing her or making any sort of contact with her at the school. The school is to turn them away and to notify me of any violation. Very soon, they will also have no legal leg to stand on where the child is concerned. This is the endgame and DW and I will not allow them to continue any further in destroying this child's future. It is time for the shriveled to dry up and blow away. It's over.

OK. It is 9:44AM EST. I have a daily conference call with work at 10AM. I am off to wake the child. God, give me the strength and the wisdom to handle this properly. Give TC the strength and fortitude to get through this unscathed. Give DW and I the patience of Job and the wisdom of Solomon to weather the storm that will be the fallout of this. Most of all, protect the innocent child for she needs all of us to survive.

Peace.

UPDATE - Spoke with TC. A bittersweet conversation to say the least. I am proud of how our daughter has grown in strength when dealing with the foolishness that is her birth mother's side of the family. Worried am I on the effect that this will have on her long term. She is willing to speak to Barb to tell her directly that she does NOT want to speak to her. We are both sure that Barb will bring up her grandparents and/or try to guilt her in some way; TC will not be having any of that. I will be forwarding the BB to the home phone (as Barb does not have the new house number yet) so that it is on speakerphone. I will not allow her free reign to hammer at the child yet again. hopefully, this will be the beginning of a whole new chapter in all of our lives. Such a sad situation.