First New Year's Funnies

Submitted by LB
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Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.

...and Chuck is alive because Jack Bauer doesn't kill women either!

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Subject: Soul Food

Kitchen Sex

She is in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walks in. She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me -- this very moment." His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives it his all on the kitchen table. Afterwards she says, "Thanks," and returns to the stove. More than a little puzzled, he asks, "What was that all about?"

She explains, "The egg timer's broken."