The important thing in life is life itself.

A few years back, my family went through soem experiences that I hope never gets repeated in that fashion ever again. My father, alone for Christmas because of circumstances I will post about another time, nearly bled out internally and died at home. This would have happened if not for the fact that LB and his wife were down and we all went to see him. Seeing that he was not well, they decided to go back and spend the night. The following morning when he was unresponsive, they called 911 for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. His blood count was so low, the number escapes me now, that a few points lower and he would have been dead. He was delusional, talking nonsense, crying, weak, helpless; not the view you want to see from the person you considered the strongest in the world when you were a child. Thankfully, though not without residual complications, he is still with us today. I thought I learned my lesson about life then but I think some of it faded with time and complacency. I got a swift kick in my complacency this week.

A high school friend's (more a sister than a friend) husband took ill recently. Strangely enough, this was not unusual in itself as he suffers from Sickle Cell and is in and out of the hospital when it acts up. This time was different and after one hospital in Scarborough admittedly had no clue on what was the issue or how to properly treat it, they had the "grace" to have him transferred to a hospital downtown that did. So for that last week, BBB has been in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at St. Mike's hospital in Toronto. They nearly lost him on Tuesday as they tried to figure out what was causing his heart issues, his kidneys and other organs to start failing, the pain and the bleeding in his lungs. Yeah, we know, real Dr. House kind of stuff; we have been waiting for his ass to show up to save the day.

BBB has stabilized and when KJ, TC and I went down to see him, he was smiling, laughing, talking, sitting up and enjoying the company of his wife and his sister-in-law. We waited our turn to go in and see him as the rooms are small, taken up with equipment and other items, so there is a two-person limit. Also, due to the highly specialized cases they deal with, you have to disinfect your hands, then don a filtering mask, a protective gown and sterile rubber gloves before entering the room. And the kicker, nothing loose that enters the room is allowed back out. No purses, no bags, no containers, no books or newspapers, not even the battery-operated radio (he is not allowed to plug anything into a socket) that his son sent for him. As much as I wanted to leave the Crackberry visible, I resisted and put it into my pocket; work would frown deeply on that.

I know you are probably wondering why take TC to such a place and to see BBB like this. Well, simply, the child seems to think she is invincible. I had to yell at her recently that she needs to wake up and understand that none of us are and she needs to learn how to protect and take care fo herself because anything at anytime can happen to anyone. This was a lesson in reality and he needed to see that good people get sick and good people can die if they do not get better. The impact was immediate. I hope it will be lasting. When TC went in to see him, KJ told me that BBB gave her a little chat about listening to what I had to say and to understand that I try to protect her at all costs. We'll see how well this sticks. One thing is for sure, she will do her best to stay out of a hospital. St. Mike's is a very old building and I thought we were walking in an abandoned wing when we arrived. It's is not an inviting place to be at any level, not that it should be.

What I came away from there with was a renewed understanding of what I thought I learned with my father. I need to find balance! Yes, we have to work hard for what we have and what we want to get but at what cost are we willing to do that? Disconnection from our spouse and child(ren)? Internal dissatisfaction and regret? Health and happiness? The pursuit of the "dream" is what is killing off all the Gen-Xers and Gen-Yers and we need to make an effort to change that. Even the most ambitious person must find a balance between drive and appreciation; material and spiritual. There has to be more than the pursuit of the almighty buck.

For our little crew, we are going to change things a bit. Right now, we live within 15 minutes of each other yet we rarely see each other or get together as often. Our kids, well not TC yet, are over-scheduled, we are over-worked, our lives are crowded when our childhoods were not. How did we become worse than our parents? We need to make a change and BBB's illness simply shed some light onto the problem. We are planning an adult getaway so that we can have some fun together sans the kids and the responsibility that comes with them being present. We will also be working on a huge family vacation. We are being realistic in saying it will be at least 3 years before we can do the adult one. And I know, promises and plans and made and broken like twigs in the wind. However...

We just need to remember where the promise was made, under what conditions they were made, to know that we need to do this for all of us. BBB thanked me for coming to see him. I told him that he did not need to thank me, I was thankful to him that he was strong enough that I was visiting him there in ICU and not somewhere else. Life is simply too short. We cannot afford to simply be alive. We need to LIVE.

Peace.