Today's Idiot! - Ladies First

Well, here we are again Goof Fans, some more prize goofs to ogle at and ridicule.

Let's start with "Baby on Board". Now, I realize that this is a holdover from a different decade, and i realize that it actually has some worth, but (like car alarms) its significance has been so abused over the years that no one pays any attention to it. I have, not today but in the past, seen really ignorant parents with this sign up in or on their vehicles warning people that they should be careful driving AROUND this vehicle. Hmmm, what about the dangers inside the vehicle? What dangers, you ask? Well, on more than one occasion, the parent or parents are SMOKING with the infants in their care seat. Oh, God forbid it be raining or cold outside because, you got it, the windows remain up!!!

Still with BOB, we have the lady in the black Jetta today. If the child needs attention, then pull over and attend to the child. DO NOT, in the middle of rush hour traffic, while you are in motion, turn around to do something to the child's face or arm! Any warmer weather and she will hvae the sporties and cyclists to deal with in addition to today's traffic.

Next on today's list would be the gimp in our parking garage. She drives a red Pontiac POS Grand Prix. The car is obviously too wide for her wide...abilities as she insists on parking so frickin' close to the yellow line that when I deliberately park beside her, she will have to open the windows to get in. She seems to have an aversion to the two large poles to the right of the vehicle. I will let you draw your own conclusions on that note.

I'll throw in a male for balance sake. He is one of many people I have observed in the last day or so that are suicidal. Folks, when crossing the street, how about looking at the traffic coming TOWARDS you before you get to the middle. At THAT point, feel free to look in the other direction at the new traffic coming towards you. All the time, I see folks step off the curb looking at the other side of the street, oblivious to the oncoming traffic. Students are also still stupid about the fact that you are not brave sauntering across the street; you are seriously stupid. Maybe it is like avarian flu or something and they can be given something to compensate.

Finally, today's supreme bright folks. Turning onto Don Mills Road from O'Connor, I end up behind a POS Toyota Corolla. It is piloted by what seems to be a student and her equally dim-witted friend in the passenger seat. Both of them are yapping away and smoking and thinking themselves Paris Hilton, when they really look more like Motel 6 (the one they do not take care of in the hills). I would speculate as to why they need three open boxes of nose tissue on the back deck, but I would be mean and digressing from the story.

So, as anyone who has travelled this route knows, when you come down the hill, you merge with the north offramp and continue around the corner into the south onramp. People tend to merge quickly; these two linger. So, I start to make my move as the car passes on the right and the twit cuts in front of me putting TR right on their bumper. They apparently thought I did them some wrong, even though I signalled before them and was in the lane before they were. So, little miss anti-hottie in the passenger seat decides to salute me. ME?!?!? I think not. So, I return the gesture in kind and decide I will stay behind them until my exit instead of going around them. I also decided against getting out of TR and making their morning by having a 300lb black man pound on their window ask them WTF was their collective Motel 6 (the shabby kind) problem.

Instead, I admittedly rode a bit closer than I normally would, but hey, it IS rush hour and there is no room for not tailgating as any such room is quickly filled by someone trying to get there faster. Well, the Dried-Powder Puff duo decides that I was tailgating and even had the nerve to point to the well-adjusted sign above that said not to perform such a heinous act. My emotionless, sunglassed visage just ignored them.

Now, fixated on the large truck and the larg black man in said truck tailgating them, dumbass number one starts turning around to look at TR. Uhm, girlie, the lane you are now sliding into alreayd contains a car. If you studied school as much as that cancer stick in your face, you would realize that matter cannot occupy the same time/space as other matter. Bad things tend to happen when one attempts to circumvent the law. Dumbass does pull back in time, several times, but continues to be obsessed with my truck. She even tries the old step on the brakes real fast trick; doesn't work with a 4x4, anti-slip and ABS though. Next! Oh, let's drive slower than the other lanes so he'll go around; sister, I have all day and I am enjoying my tunes.

Here's an idea, beeyatch!, how about you learn the rules of the road, then apply them to the actual road and you would not get yourself in trouble. I am sure both your trailer trash mothers are proud. Maybe they have a part for you on Trailer Park Boys. Naaah, I think they have standards on that fine show and even in pretend land there is nothing as skanky as you two. Bon Voyage, Bitches!

Peace!