So, Barb calls and the number this time is not her 868 cell number from Trinidad but rather from a 416 number. Either she is in town, or she is using a local calling card company or she was conference-called, redirected to my BB. Anyhow the 416-861-1955 number comes back as having not been assigned. Typically this says it is a multi-line out, restricted line in setup of a company's PBX. Sorry, went all geek on you. Moving on.
The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello?
Barb: I am calling back to speak to "TC".
Me: Hold on.
I hand the child the phone, which is on speaker, as she is standing against the railing above me. The child moves to the stairs and sits down.
TC: Hello.
Barb: Hi "TC". How was your holidays?
TC: They were good.
Barb: Did you have a good time?
TC: Yes, I did.
Barb: "TC", your father told me something and I wanted to know from you if it is true. Is it?
TC: Yes.
Barb: You don't want to speak to me?
TC: No, not right now.
Barb: OK. Alright. Well, give the phone back to your father so that I may speak to him.
TC: OK.
Barb: And "TC"?
TC: Yes?
Barb: Just know I will always love you.
TC: OK.
At this, the child rolls her eyes looks over to me and hands me the phone.
Me: Hello?
Barb: From time to time I would like to know how she is doing.
Me: (pause) OK.
Barb: I would also like to call from time to time.
Me: (mouth open to respond)
Barb: I won't ask to speak to her. I will be calling to speak to you to find out how she is.
Me: OK.
Barb: Thank you.
Me: Your welcome.
End of conversation.
--------------------
Follow up conversation with TC was interesting. She expressed disbelief that Barb was so clueless to think that everything would be okay after all that has happened recently. I was of the impression the incident that happened some time ago but today the child clarified for me that it was this summer, while they were hammer at her psyche to make her want to go live with Barb in Trinidad, that Barb got mad at TC and uttered that the child was "a mistake". TC also stated that they thought she was asleep when she heard the mother tell the grandparents how they should just give her to her father and be done with it. And the tears started to flow again.
How does a mother say that about her own, only child? I reassured TC that she was in no way a mistake and since I have never lied to her (and I never have) then she can count on that. I told her to become the best whatever it is that she wanted to become as proof to them that despite their best efforts (Barb's and her worthless grandparents) that she will be okay, and succeed and thrive. It will be a long hard road but we will do this together.
I highly doubt there will be regular calls from TC's birth mother because unless she gained some new insight, she will be too wrapped up in how this all makes her feel and look. TC will have the love and support of two parents who truly care about her, DW and myself, plus a supporting cast of friends and family to assist her forward in this life journey. There really is no guide book or manual for parenting nor is there any sort of screening process. Instinct should make someone do a better job than Barb has, shouldn't it?
Anyhow, that is it for now. As DW pointed out, I do not often write about things surrounding TC. This time however, I felt compelled to let those who know everyone involved in on the complete picture. I am tired of protecting her and being the good, right person. I still am doing it today as I told TC that her mother was probably telling the truth from her own twisted, slanted point of view. What I really wanted to say I could not, nor is it polite to call people those names in print. Suffice it to say that if Barb never called again, never entered the child's life again, it would be a moment too soon in my book.
We are off to grab some lunch, see if my idiot cousin from Newmarket shows up, and head off to a dental consultation for TC on the Danforth. It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood. Chillax, grab something cold (not the secretary or the UPS guy) and enjoy the start of the new year. I know I will when I get back.
Ciao.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Please give TC our love and tell her we were all glad to see her home where she belongs.
Happy New Year
I second Famine's sentiments. And as a child who also heard her mother say that she was a mistake and had intended an abortion, I know what TC is going through. Remind her that she is an amazing gift to both of your lives and that she is amazing to the rest of us as well. :)
Lots of love from other side of the BFONW
The sad part of this, beside TC having to deal with this SHIT, is that there are more people like Barb in the world then I ever thought possible. My wife's ex is one of them. He has drove his oldest away and I am pretty sure once the 2nd oldest goes away to school in a year or so he wont be back either. My bonus kids and they have to deal with likes of him and the witch!
Post a Comment