Monday, December 22, 2008

What a load of Canadian!!

The only reason the price of beer is being raised is because they damn well know if they double the price, we would still be buying and drinking it.  Just like the cost of gas did not reduce the traffic jams on the highways, the cost of hooch never canceled any weekend plans.  It is simply the easiest place for the government to reach deeper into our pockets and wallets without us putting up much of a fight.

What?  You need another twoonie for that 2-4?  No problem Mr. Premier.  Just don't make the mistake of running out when I get back.


CANOE -- CNEWS - Canada: LCBO offers farewell toast to buck-a-beer

I do not think the 65" is in that box in the living room.

Why? Because they can!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A second funny for today.

Submitted by BT from MTL


Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a localstrip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doing?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,

'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

BOB's funeral will be on Friday.

Today's Funny

Submitted by BT from MTL

Two Newfies were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a while the first Newfie says to the second, "If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"

The second Newfie crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says,"Well, I don't know about related, but it sure would make us even."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A second funny for today.

Submitted by BT from MTL. I laughed out loud, to the chagrin of others.

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl is wearing a firefighter's helmet and the wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look.

'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the fire fighter says with admiration.

'Thank you,' the little girl says.

The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little Partner', the fire fighter says, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar too, I think you could go faster.'

The little girl replies thoughtfully,

'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

Today's Funny

Submitted by BT from MTL

A young man named John received a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The
parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of
the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite
words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up'
the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled
back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him in
the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squa wked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly
there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and
said 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully
intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.'

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to
ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the
bird continued....

........'May I enquire as to what the turkey did?'

How much does a senator seat go for these days? About 5-10 I hear.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Today's Funny

Thanks to BT from MTL

A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just scratching his nuts--something she seemed to love to do.

As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do You love doing that?'

'Because,' she replied, 'I really miss mine.'

Are you an Internet criminal? I bet you are.

All for the good of the party and the possible coalition. Or so they say...

Friday, December 05, 2008

Need a free PDF printer?

Adobe's PDF format is probably the most recognizable format for documents as MP3 is for audio files.  The reason is that it doesn't matter what operating system or device you use, it probably has the ability to read a PDF.  Well, the software from Adobe to create PDFs does not come cheap and when all you want to do is convert a document into the readable format, it does not make sense to outlay that kind of cash.  That is where CutePDF comes in.  Stupid name, great software.  It installs like any printer would and you simply print to it and it created the PDF of the output.  Anything that can print (i.e. browsers, picture apps, doc apps, anything) can be told to print to it and a nice, clear PDF will be created.  No muss, no fuss.


CutePDF - Create PDF for free, Free PDF Utilities, Edit PDF easily;.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Eli's Dirty Jokes - Episode 16

Thanks to Famine, I want to sell lollipops. I think.

A petition without merit.

The petition i pasted below is now circulating around to try to appeal to our Governor General to request that she NOT allow the coalition government to take power. I have no problem with that whatsoever!

The problem I have is the inclusion of the word "Democracy". The last time I checked, no gunmen barged in to hold parliament at gunpoint to force a new regime, no coup was held and the prime minister killed and no bloody uprising was started by the army and the top army brass declaring himself ruler. If any of that happened, by all means go ahead and cry about Democracy; but it did not. Instead, by the very rules that govern the House of Commons, the rest of the house has declared that they have lost faith in the current government and have banded together to remove that government from power. Now, why I do not necessarily believe in the coalition that was put together, I do believe in their right and the process to do exactly that. i do not pretend to know all that much about politics; frankly, I do not lie or hide my emotions well enough to be any kind of effective politician. What I do know is that I do live in a democratic society and I do know there are rules that I may not like, but as i chose to live here, I must follow.

What everyone signing this petition fails to acknowledge is that Mr. Harper himself, in 2005, wrote a similar letter asking about a similar process to perform a similar act when Paul martin's liberals were in power. So, it is do as I say and not as I as do? What is good for the goose is NOT good for the gander? It is hypocritical of Harper to be crying foul now when he was poised to make the same move back then. It simply works to make him even less in my eyes if that is at all possible. While i am railing on the PCs, it was disgraceful the blatant disrespect that Jim Flaherty showed within the House yesterday; he should be formally reprimanded!

The bottom line is by all means go right ahead and circulate the petition and sign it (I won't ever) and deliver it to the Governor General. Just stop the foolishness about "Democracy" because most if not all of you will be lucky to have never lived in a part of the world where there truly is no democracy; I would not wish that on the worst person (well, maybe the worst). Work to understand the process and then work the process. And if you don't like the process, work to change it. bitching and moaning will simply fall on all of our deaf ears.


Petition to the Governor General:

If you are interested in protecting Democracy in Canada, please sign the internet petition being circulated. It is addressed to the Governor General. This will take only a couple of minutes to complete. Please take those few minutes and try to help stop the Liberal-Socialist-Separatist coalition's attempt to gain power without an election. Note that this Coalition gives the Separatists complete veto power over any decision – obviously not in the best interests of Canada. In order to gain Separatist support, the Liberal and NDP agreed to provide Quebec with billions of dollars – obviously not in the best interests of Canada. Also in order to gain Separatist support, the Liberal and NDP agreed to put six Separatists in the Senate of Canada – obviously not in the best interests of Canada.

The Petition

To Her Excellency the Right Honourable Michaƫlle Jean, Governor General of Canada:
We, the undersigned, call on the Office of the Governor General of Canada to respectfully deny the request of the "Coalition" to form the next Government.
We strongly urge that Canadian voters be heard in this matter. A coalition propped up by a separatist party is not the government that Canadians want in Ottawa.

You can sign the petition at: Please take a couple of minutes to help preserve democracy in Canada. Thank you.

Please circulate this to your friends and family who would also be interested in protecting Canada.

Yours for a better Canada,

Priceless editorial cartoon.

Hear, hear!!

That's 81 too many!

So Harper, it is do as I say not as i said, eh?