Thursday, August 31, 2006

Did I mention that I can be an arrogant prick sometimes?

Or, at the very least, it comes off that way.

Look, tell me that anyone of you do not fight the valiant fight when you know you are right about something. I just happen to do it with a certain whim, a cartain air that pisses people off. Truth be told, depending upon the person and the situation, I relish in pissing that person off as much as I can so I exaggerate the prick-ness even more. Hmm, maybe a topic I best leave to MS and PS.

Anyhow, nothing bugs me more than people in my workplace challneging me on how things are suppose to work and run (otherwise known as processes). See, while the more recent initiative processes may be more vague to me and I readily concede not knowing (or caring) jack schitt about them, it baffles the mind that anyobody but a handful few in this company of mine would dare question my knowledge on established processes.

Why am I so confindent about those you ask? Simple, I helped write them and helped influence the ones that I did not write. Combine that with being one of a handful of the old guard (typical meetings have me as the most senior employee in the room, including my boss) and there is not much in our area that I am not familiar with how it runs. The amount of attempts to try to end run that process is mind-boggling. Then, to add the cherry, they actually want to bitch and moan about my emails and insistence to adherence to the process when it takes so much more time and effort and blah, blah, blah. Cry me a freaking river people. I had to go back to class (ok, it was only two days of cramming) to learn the ITIL way. Well, you awoke the ITIL monster and he has teeth so bugger off and do it the right way the first bloody time.

And that's my two cents for today. Join us tomorrow when I espouse on the evils of the shared driveway.


Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Crazy Frog Bros. Remix ! - Google Video

Great another video site to waste my time on. Anyhow, as annoying as this can be, I am impressed by the timing of the video, being in sync with the sped up music and such. Still stupid though.

Crazy Frog Bros. Remix ! - Google Video

funny !! - Google Video

Submitted by Famine.

I hope she is not in the "trade" as she could seriously hurt someone.

funny !! - Google Video

A "hairy" proposition

All I am going to say about this post is that it brought a tear to my eye as I was laughing so hard. Thanks to DW for passing it to me but most of the thanks goes to the lady who experienced it, and posted it for our enjoyment.


One of our Own?: A word to the wise...

Print Story: Unable to unplug, tech addicts may sue: academic on Yahoo! News

OK, if anyone believes this so-called "academic" came up to this conclusion all on her own, I also have soem swampland and a bridge to sell you. I will bet top dollar that a competitor to RIM, or some law group though this was a nice way to drum up some business. I mean, just how many old ladies can you get to boil scalding hot coffee on their own thighs? Just another negative to an otherwise fine western civilization. Pathetic really.


Print Story: Unable to unplug, tech addicts may sue: academic on Yahoo! News

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I'd be out of a job if not for stupid people

As you all know, I abhor ignorant people. I realize this encompasses a broad spectrum based on one's tolerance and values. Suffice it to say at the top of the heap are stupid people who show themselves off to be smart.

Now, just about anyone who knows me will tell you I am an arrogant prick most times. The reason for this is not deliberate but rather I am very rigid, very determined when I absolutely know that I am right; more so if you dared to challenge that notion. Now, DW will balk at this but, I have something upwards of a 98%+ rating in that department where we are concerned. She knows it, I know it and now you do. But, DW is not in this group of folks.

Instead, last night I run across at least the fourth example of someone who is supposed to know more than me and yet does not exhibit those qualities at all. I cannot get into details for obvious reasons (i.e. want to keep my job) but I can say that anyone making the BIG bucks for being an IT manager/director/whatever, had better not have HUB disease and be able to walk the line. When someone of my junior, relatively knowledgeless stature can tell you it is in your bloody network, something is wrong with the hierarchy (and consequently my paycheque). For the fourth bloody time I had to sit on a conf call for hours only to prove what we said from the outset: It's not us, it's you.

People, just accept the fact that we are always right and more on. There. Does that not feel much better?


Monday, August 28, 2006

CANOE -- JAM! Television: Social experts blast new 'Survivor'

ROFLMAO. I know a number of you will disagree with me, and that is all fair in a democracy, but I think it is about time that this Survivor came out; I actually think it was inevitable. To the non-reality watching clan, of which I drop kick most of the critics of this upcoming season, the facts of reality shows simply cannot be dismissed: where minorites are out numbered, the disadvantage is huge from the start and detrimental in the end.

If you look at all the reality shows, the only ones were minorities or the handicapped have thrived are in shows where the person or persons had to rely on themselves, their own determination and their own wits to continue in the game. I will give you several examples of the argument on either side. Let's start with the negatives so we can end with the positives.

Big Brother -Season One, the first person voted off was the black guy. Why? Because he was loud and stirring it up and everyone thought they were on holiday. It seemed that he was the only one to read the rules where it said it was a "game". In another Big Brother, where the evil Dr. Will was rewarded with a win during his season for successfully lying and backstabbing his fway to the finals, Danielle was scolded and punished for doing the same thing and the money awarded to her white counterpart who surfed unscathed on the backs of Danielle's victims. Survivor, every season but one, the minority players (black, latino, deaf, one-legged, Asian) are kept around for strength or wits but never (except once) taken to the final two. Hell's Kitchen, same thing. And on and on we can go. I will give the caveat that some of these people really are stupid and deserve to be tossed BUT so are their white counterparts. We all know who gets to stick around and who gets turfed, right?

On the positive side, The Biggest Loser and The Amazing Race has shown us some of the best moments in reality TV history to see people of divergent upbringing work together to a common goal. On TBL, you had the two heaviest men (one black and one white) form a friendship that I am sure continues today. On TAR, you had the feel good story of all time play out on TV. Uchena and Joyce, on the verge of marital breakup caused by the stress of trying to have a child through IVF (see DW's blog if you need further info), running into money issues and losing the bond between them. They came on the show for an outside chance of winning the money but more importantly to go through this once-in-a-lifetime experience to try to center themselves and rekindle that love and trust and reliance on each other. Nothing illustrated this more than when they went to a Fast Forward (go read the race rules at for an explanation) and discovered to Joyce's dismay that it involved a local custom to cut off all of one's hair. Uchena was already a bowling ball so it did not affect him; Joyce had a full head of platted locks. While Uchena was willing to head back to the previous task, Joyce, knowing they would be last and have to leave the game, chose to stay and cut her hair all off in order to get further in the game. The sacrifice had him in tears even as he tried to talk her out of it and she told him to shut up. Yes, they moved on and eventually won the race and a million dollars. When asked what they were going to do first, "IVF" was the response. And sure, there are more examples out there but the point is that they are very few and very far between. Face it people, if they had reversed the players, had cast 10 minorities and two whites in any Big Brother season, and the two whites were turfed first, there most definitely would be a race card pulled (and rightfully so) and the ratings would tank as white America would not continue to watch.

I hate the race card, but our reality is that is gets pulled because sometimes, dammit, it has to be pulled to wake people up. I will be the first to say that it gets pulled for the wrong reason and the wrong time far too often, but let us not put our heads inot the sand. Race is VERY much a part of the Western Civilization fabric. If this was not true, we would not have the Black awards and the Latino awards and the Gay/Homosexual/Bi awards and all the other things that outwardly separate us.

So, I welcome this Survivor and I applaud the producers for having the balls to even go "there". Let's see if a group of like individuals can truly come together to "outwit, outplay and outlast". There will be no excuses ebcause it will be one's own kind kicking one's ass off the island. It will also showcase if the weaknesses of a group can be overcome. What I mean by that is that traditionally, blacks have had a strength and speed advantage but fared poorly in water and heights. Whites have done well in water and puzzles (for the women) while holding their own in the strength department. Asians have done okay in the skills, stamina and speed but very badly in strength and puzzles. Latinos have almost not competed at all in reality TV.

Now, I can hear some of you again. "Where the hell did you get that stuff?" Hmmm, do you watch TV at all. Basketball is predominantly what? Black. Hockey is predominantly what? White. Musical, Spelling and Math prodigy-like folks are predominantly what? Asian (all groups). Swimming, Skiing and Figure Skating has been predominantly what? White. Marathons have been recently won predominantly by what? Blacks This is not a condemnation of any discipline but a matter of fact that is slowiy changing in some areas (i.e. Anson Carter and others in hockey) and not so much in others (i.e another Jamaican bobsled team anyone?).

The critics and a whole lot of people whose opinion don't mean shit to me can poo poo this season's Survivor all they want. I will defy them all by asking the more affluent ones "When was the last time you insisted on a cab driven by a white guy or refused maid service by a Latino or did not hire a Mexican gardener?" Yeah, that's what I thought. So respectfully, shut the hell up and let's see how this all plays out. This may yet be the most socially-realistic survivor since the very first one. May the most resilient, hard-working, and co-operative group win.


CANOE -- JAM! Television: Social experts blast new 'Survivor'

I think I am losing my mind

Seriously. No jokes. I think I am coming unglued. Nuff said.

Reason certain friends of mine will have to shop elsewhere

Toronto Police Service
News Release

Police take down counterfeit DVD manufacturer believed to be largest in Canada, 42 Division

Monday, August 28, 2006 - 10:45 AM
42 Division

Detectives from the 42 Division Criminal Investigations Bureau recently investigated a complaint about the illegal sale and manufacturing of counterfeit DVDs at the Dynasty Plaza, 8 Glen Watford Drive.

As a result, detectives from the 42 Division Fraud Office, with the assistance of the Major Crime, Street Crime and Community Response units, executed warrants at three separate units within the plaza.

It is alleged that:

- approximately 20,000 counterfeit DVDs were seized from the three units,

- the seizure represents a loss of approximately $400,000 to the motion picture industry,

- one of the units housed a sophisticated manufacturing laboratory.

Investigators from the Canadian Motion Picture Distributors Association’s Anti-Piracy Operations Unit, who assisted in this investigation, believe that this operation had the capacity to produce 560 DVD movies per hour and is the largest known manufacturing laboratory in Canada.

This operation represents a potential loss of several million dollars.

Three women were arrested at the time of the warrants.

Yu Wang, 22, of Markham, SiYing Zhao, 22, of Toronto and Jing Zhou, 28, of Toronto have been charged with Possession of Property Obtained by Crime Over $5,000.

On Saturday, August 26, 2006, You Jie Wu (male), 36, of Markham, was arrested. He has been charged with:

1) Possession of Property Obtained by Crime Over $5,000,

2) Fraud over $5,000,

3) Fail to Comply - Recognizance.

An arrest warrant has been issued for Yannie Siu (female), 25, of Markham.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

No good deed goes unpunished

That old adage holds true in various incarnations. The best of intentions do not always produce the best of results. And quite frankly, I am getting more than a little tired of having to exert two or three times more effort to clarify, preserve or defend my best intentions. So, I am formally admitting defeat and I am simply going to reduce or stop it all together. I really am too tired these days. Maybe if I can find a way to rejuvenate but right now my spirit is simply not strong enough.

I will continue to blog from time to time when something really strikes a chord but I may be taking a bit of a rest here as well. I promise to let you know if I intend to quit blogging completely so do check back once in a while as I will try to have something relevant or at least funny to say (peculiar or ha-ha).

Thanks much. Nite.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

A few random reasons why I (*&^%(*&^%(* hate the TTC!!

Oh you tree-hugging environmentalists. I understand you hate us SUV-driving, gas-guzzling commuters but let me be frank: Kiss My Big Black Ass!! After my experiences of riding the transit system for four days this week, let me just through out a few kudos and some slaps to the head.

- Toronto still has one of the cleanest, best running transit systems in the world.
- The staff are mostly courteous and attentive, helpful and plesant.
- When travelling from the subway station in the burbs to downtown, it can be the easiest, faster method available.
- Realistically, relatively inexpensive in comparison to other large cities.

Kicks to the groin:
- People suck! If it is the don't-feel-like-bathing-this-week group, it is the my-time-is-more-important-than-yours pushers or the is-that-your-foot/rib/bag group.
- People suck! - part deux. What ever happened to understanding about personal space? I understand we are stuck like sardines but does that mean every breast needs to be brushed up on me when I am standing at the door? Do you really need to lean in my general direction that way? Can you find no where else to put your hand ma'am?
- Buses suck! Oh for the love of monkeys I hate being reliant on someone else where my time is concerned. I like my car because I pick up the key, start Betsy up and we are off. I had to wait 20 minutes during rush hour for a bus through our area. Pathetic.
- The system is underwhelming. When I was in Calgary, the transit system was built out to the areas that people needed it most to accomodate them coming into the city to work. In Montreal, they added something like a dozen or more stops to the two added in Toronto (and this was from an article in the paper almost 20 years ago). In Mexico City, it is a huge labyrinth that ensures people (read tourists) can get all over to the museums and other places of interest safely and easily. In Toronto, 20 years plus after it was first brought up, these dumb mutha (&^%(*&^% are STILL bebating if they should extend into the second largest university in the GTA, whether they should extend into the second largest community of Toronto, whether they should extend links into Missassauga to the west, York region to the North and Durham region to the east, even though the GO transit system clearly shows it is needed. They have wasted so much money talking that the damn system could have been extended by now with interest!!

We need to reduce the executive overhead of the TTC and get people in there that understand what the damn system needs. You need to raise the cost by a quarter? Bloody do it. Forget everyone's bitching because if they could afford to drive in and pay thirty bucks a day to park downtown, they would be doing so now rather than riding the crappy TTC system. The TTC needs money to make these projects live. Just, for the love of mikes, Do IT!!!

Life this week

I was on course this week at Global Knowledge from Tuesday to Friday. The course, which runs through the basics of networking technologies and how things work, is a first step in my plan to make a move within our company. A lot of people that know me and know what I can do asked why I took this course and if it was not a waste of time since I know it all already. This is where perception is not reality.

A lot of computing has to do with theories, standards, processes and models; little of which may actually enter your network, but in others, they could not function without being properly laid according to those rules laid out from the beginning. Where my knowledge is concerned, I have a good base of theory and practical but I was lacking in some key fundamentals: OSI Network Model and TCP/IP Addressing and Subnetting. Now, I know a bunch of you are glazing your eyes over as you read this (LB, stay awake), but I will keep it non-technical. To summarize, you could not be reading this post without the standards, practices and technologies that the two aforementioned topics cover; the Internet would cease to function without them. Suffice it to say, they are important stuff and I had serious holes in my knowledge of them.

I learn a lot this week and my instructor, Dana S., not only helped fill the gaps and made things clearer for me (Famine, Death and a few others tried but I was roadblocked in certain areas), she rekindled my love of teaching and made me miss instructing once again. To the uninformed, I used to teach a variety of courses at the school that taught me; the Institute for Computer Studies, and then CDI. I used to teach Intro to DOS/Windows, UNIX, Linux, Korn Shell Programming, Hardware (A+ initiative) and Novell (CNA initiative). Believe it or not, these were all lower end courses, mostly introductions for the little or zero experienced. I could not teach the higher courses because I needed to be certified. I could not get certified because the damn roadblocks in my head did not allow retention of the information vital for that to happen. Or, some could rightfully argue, I did not want it badly enough yet.

I do now.

I am a little tired of the politics and the BS that one must wade through in my position. After four years there, it should have improved by now; it has gotten worse in my huble opinion. I love the company so I do not want to leave but I need a chance of pace, of scenery, of responsibility. So, I am on track to gain the knowledge and experience I need in order to shift sideways within my team and start to learn how to run a data centre. One day, I may even try to go for learning how to design and build one. It all starts with this course.

Wish me luck. :)

It's 1AM and DW has gone off to bed...

So, I was thinking, maybe I will go ahead and post this.

What the heck is wrong with some of you women?You all bitch and moan about not being looked after by your man and then bitch and moan when we try to look after you. Let me give you an example.

The other day, DW was on her way doing some errands before heading home from work. We Blackberry SMS on the way home to give gas price updates, urgent or interesting news tidbits, bitch about stupid motorists and traffic and/or discuss what is for dinner. On this particular day, I ask during our conversation, "Would you like to join me for dinner?" Now people (gents and ladies chime in), is there ANY other way to take that question than to mean I want to take my lovely wife out for dinner? I am seriously and honestly asking this question because I was quite put off with her response and our evening was very quiet because of it. I would liek any information on exactly when the meaning of that phrase changed. If you said it to someone in a club, it means date. If you said it in the office, it means date. If you said it on the street, it means date. So, why does my lovely wife think it means "What would you like me to pick up?"

One of my mentors raught me to not follow the "Hallmark holidays" and instead spontaneously and randomly surprise my spouse with dinner, flowers, gifts and attention throughout the year. That way, she gets a pleasant surprise from time to time and I am never in the doghouse for forgetting some arbitrary date set by some dead folks from long ago.

However, this whole thing goes to pot if one party is totally oblivious to the gesture. Suggestions and comments are requested and welcome.


Today's Funny

Submitted by DoubleD

Life's New Axioms

1) Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos; you never know what's going to burn your ass.

2) I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3) Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

4) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

5) I don't have an attitude problem; you have a perception problem.

6) Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where in the hell is my ceiling?

7) My reality cheque bounced.

8) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

9) I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!!!

10) You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

11) Everyone is someone else's weirdo.

12) Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then defeat you with experience.

13) Be careful. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the ass.

14) Don't be irreplaceable --- if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted.

15) The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

16) You can go anywhere you want; if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

17) So this isn't Home Sweet Home...... Adjust!

18) I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

19) Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

20) I'd love to live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

21) What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it!

22) How can you tell which bottle contains her PMS medicine? It's the one with bite marks on the cap!!!!

Friday, August 25, 2006

ST41600N Illustrated Configuration

OK, signs that we (meaning I) have too much old crap living in our basement and we really need to clear it out in a massive garage sale?

We (meaning I) have one of these in a container in the basement.

ST41600N Illustrated Configuration

Monday, August 21, 2006

What a weekend!!!

Sometimes I wonder why I am so tired; other times, it is clear as day.

Friday, we had our normal gathering of folks for some company and games. We had twelve playing at one point and even when it whittled down to six of us, we still went until 4AM. A couple of pond dwellers were in for the weekend and some new blood showed up as well. A good night for all. Well, it was good after DW brought the house back to even after a horrible night by her hubby.

Saturday, as much as one wanted to sleep in, it simply was not happening. This was helped partly by the audacity of a good friend of mine to call my house before noon on the weekend; we slapped him later. I had to get up anyhow as I had some errands to run. So, a quick shower later, and a mug of tea and I was out the door to go see my mum. Unfortunately, she was not home when I arrived, so I left a message. I now had to go look for clothes to fit my ever expanding frame. I popped into Mark's Work Warehouse because they seem to have a handle on the ever increasing market with the odd-sized waistband. I have never been a normal off-the-rack shopper due to very muscular legs, a butt and short legs (30"). That original issue has been magnified with the beer gut and extra winter fat (that stays through the summer these days).

Thankfully, Mark's was having a clearance sale so I got a bunch of shirts, some sport socks, and a nice pair of dress pants. Three figures later, I had to hurry off to STC (Scarborough Towne Centre) to buy a ninth ticket in the nosebleed section of Skydome, er, The Rogers Centre (stupid name change). A friend of ours that works for the Blue Jays was kind enough to acquire eight complimentary tickets which we used instead of paying for the $60+ ones we originally were going to buy. We enjoyed the game no less and was able to bankroll the rest of the evening. After STC, I had to pop into the Beer Store (name and function) to offload the whack of empty bottles and cans that has accumulated over the summer in our kitchen. Let me say this, there was enough examples of trailer trash and near neo-Nazis around the store that I am seriously considering swearing off beer for a while. I fear that it is something in the beer.

OK, so running Trini-late as usual, I rushed home (in a bit of a mood because I had yet to eat anything since the Panzerottos at 2AM) and my blood sugar was low; and I was late. I got in, got DW to help pick clothes to change out of the clothes I was wearing to the game (the club does not allow jeans or runners), showered, changed and we headed out. I gently warned that I was going to be listening to driving music so anyone not tuned to that style (read things with a beat) was welcome to don the wireless headphones and tune into the radio; I need beats to execute the maneuvers I needed to get there both fast and safely. The CDs I picked up at Sunrise Records (they have the Ticketmaster there) were an Old School compilation, the Step Up soundtrack, Reggae2006 non-stop mix (with basically no traditional reggae in it at all) and Reggae Gold 2006 (oh yeah, truly reggae). I popped in the non-stop mix and off we went. Quickly. Safely. But very fast. :)

The Argo game was one of the best in a long time. While the execution at times were wanting, and poor Damon Allen got rocked again (DAMN they are hitting harder and faster in the CFL these days), the boys in blue, our wonderful Boatmen, put the slapdown, the ass-kicking, the beeyatch-slapping that those ruddy Alouette pond dwellers deserved. Unfortunately, we had to leave before the final gun in order to get our seats at Yuk Yuk's, but we saw all but the last three points scored. Arrrrrrrgooooooooooooooooos!!!!!

After finding Yuk Yuk's (my buddy's sense of direction since he moved into the bush is the shits), paying twenty (&^%(*&^ dollars to park across the street, paying seventeen bucks to get in and being seated at substandard tables, on uncomfortable chairs in what looked like the old remnants of a bad strip club, we settled in for the beginning of the show. Fifteen minutes later, my nice hungry guy persona was ripped to shreds by my "where the f**k is my service" hungry guy. I went up to the guy at the door taking our tickets and politely, but very firmly explained that we have been seated for a while and have yet to see a waitress. He promised to get somebody while he feebly explained that he had just opened our row so they did not know we were there and blah blah blah blah. Was he still talking? Really?

So, I answer the group's inquiries as I sit down. Yes, I really went up and asked where the hell was our waitress. Turns out we would have been better off waiting until we went elsewhere to eat. The beer was reasonably priced at around $5 but the fancy drinks were horrible, small, plain tasting and a whopping $7.50 each. DW and I order a combo platter and quesadillas to share for dinner; we've had much better but it served its immediate purpose. When the bleached-blond, older waitress finally brought our drinks, because we were paying cash, she wanted the bill settled; no problem. The bill was $50.75 and I gave her $51 in a fifty and a loonie (that's a bronze coloured coin worth a buck, for those who are foreign to our currency). Yes, a quarter is not much of a tip but the intention was to drink more and I would have fixed her up on the later order. I was not breaking more bills simply to satisfy her need for a tip now.

Anyhow, as I gave her the money and was telling to keep the change and we would fix up later, she decided she would send me a message before I finished speaking and (according to DW) said, "Don't worry, I will get you your change!" At this point she is fishing around for a quarter and is still not listening to me when she places it on the table and walks off. I was going to explain to her when she got back but the attitude afterwards pissed me off royally. Oh yeah, and she did not bring any napkins with our food order; no napkins for anyone in our group that ordered food. So, I decided I was not that thirsty, did not order another drink, and made sure to leave the quarter in clear sight on the food tray. Ask DW and she will tell you I am normally the best tipper in a group as I will average 20 percent. I am also the first to slap you if you deliberately give me bad service. You are entitled to the wage your place of employment gives to you, not my appreciation of service that was never served. So, a big screw you bitch and I will be having a word with your bosses about our treatment!

We leave Yuk Yuk's and now I am thirsty so I agree and push for us to try what initially looked like a decent patio bar with music playing and no cover charge. We go upstairs and it is a mainly black crowd with reggae and hip hop being played by a rather sorry DJ (LB DJs and in his off-days, sick, he is better than this joker). Anyhow, we grab a couple of drinks (how does a Corona and a half-can of diet coke equal seven bucks?!?!) watch nothing happening and leave when the drinks are done. I approximate we were there for ten minutes tops. It was like high school with guys in one area and girls in the next and no one dancing. Useless.

We next walked down the street past a whole bunch of clubs; some I heard of like Fluid, and some I had not know of their existence. The one we went to, Silk, was unknown to me as well. The best way to describe the place is your friend's basement that his parent's had fixed up and he cleared out to hold a party while they were gone. It had three U-shaped bench areas, some pillars (more structural than cosmetic I suspect because we were in the basement of a building) and a long bar that also housed the DJ area. I say "area" because it was not a traditional DJ booth. It has a studio monitor suspended from the ceiling pointed towards him and he basically took up the end of the near side of the bar; he had two Technics 1200s, a Rane mixer and an Apple iBook running a program called Serato to serve up his MP3s. All in all, the music was well played, the bar babes wore short shorts and low V-neck tops (one carried a bottle opener stuck in the back of her shorts) and the clientele did not make you feel threatened or inadequate. Again, like a house party, you had dancers, drinkers, smokers, limers (ask a Trini) and people just out to have a good time. I'd go there before I went to Limelight or one of the other super crowded places that people like to shoot up for no reason but ignorance. Oh yeah a couple of things to note.

On the way in to Silk, the guys get frisked; the ladies don't because no one has ever seen them shoot up the place. So, this nice looking blond drops down and starts feeling around. Well, let me tell you, it is almost the completion of one of those nasty fantasies but we were clothed, there were a lot more people around that I would have had and DW was standing at the doorway not looking happy than another woman's hands had just grazed the frank and beans. I asked my frisker if she wouldn't mind doing it again but more intrusively. She said no, gave me a half smile like "as if you are the first to ask" and looked to DW as if to say "get along married boy". I smuggled out two souvenirs of the night; a drink price list which I will scan and post to show you where things have gone awry, and a Moet ice bucket, simply because it was a challenge and I thought for my seven dollar Corona (three-fifty for the diet coke), I deserved something in return. If you are ever at my house, ask to see them. :)

Believe it or not, the night was not over yet because we headed over to the Big Slice, a staple for partiers in Toronto. This pizza place has been here as long I have been around I think; at least as long as I have been partying, twenty years plus now. It is open until 4AM and serves the largest slice of pizza for reasonable coin. Unfortunately, my system was messed up from eating so late already and I am not good with salt so it disagreed with me later and returned for a second viewing Sunday morning around 6AM.

Sunday, I went downstairs to cut CDs and DVDs but before I could start, I was feeling like crap and was tossing and turning for a few hours before heading to the throne for one set of business and taking care of another. Feeling better all around, I continued with my CD and DVD backups when the pond dwellers popped down to say hello. The female pond dweller asked if I would like some tea and I graciously accepted. DW would be up after ten when the alarm she set went off. She did come down afterwards and she complained about my pager going off which got us into an argument because it was the second sentence out of her mouth after "Good morning"; I've made it clear that it bugs the hell outta me but she continues to do it and I continue to get pissed off. She went back upstairs and I continued on. I knew she would be back to ask about the brunch at her mother's we were heading to. I had zero intention of going because I was so pissed off at that point but I said my peace and we worked it out (like we always do). I love her but she drives me crazy sometimes for the simplest things that can be dealt with simply if she would only take a couple of more seconds to process. Anyhow, she's my life and my rock and we will always work it out.

So, CDs done, Double D was in and then out, I could not get the DVDs going properly but we had to go. I went and showered and changed by which time the pond dwellers were engrossed in some movie watching so we left them there to return later after the brunch. It's always nice to see the folks from Chicago, the cousins and of course my MIL; it really is a nice group I married into and the majority of the folks treat me like family should. We left there and I popped up to because they have a 4GB SD card on sale for $80 that I wanted and they always quickly sell out of. I should have gone to the one on Dufferin because, in comparison, the one on Kennedy is such a hole. Anyhow, I got the card, DW checked out a couple of things and we left for home. We needed to stop in No-Frills (a grocery store) for a couple of necessities (i.e. milk, etc) and then off to home.

The pond dwellers were finishing up the last movie as I got to work backing up the DVDs (which were themselves backups from the FOB mall) onto DW's system. Crap, her system did not have the necessary software so I had to go off and get that first and then got to ripping. The pond dwellers joined me downstairs at this point to play some Outlaw Golf 2 on the PS2; very interesting game what with the spanking and breast rubbing and bending and jiggling. Anyhow, it's a good title to add to one's library (the adult section). Once I had the DVDs backed up, it was time for the pond dwellers to return to the pond (Montreal) and it was time for DW and I to head off to our nephew's game in Woodbridge.

The game itself was pretty uneventful (they got their ass buss with a 4-0 drubbing). Hammy did this move on this guy that is tall like Crouch (of the English national team) that had the whole side of stands we were sitting in howling. As usual, he had very little support at the end of it and his teammates cough up the ball to the Croatian team once again. My mother called during the game and I had to leave the field area for a little while. She had the best line of the night when, after noting that at least the players get paid to play, she says to tell Hammy, "You do get paid, but you get paid to get your ass buss!" Funny stuff.

Anyhow, not so funny is my nephew telling me his psycho ex-girlfriend showed up again causing a scene and kicking the side of his car when he refused to speak to her. He asked me to check out the parking lot at halftime but I did not see her. We stayed around after the game to ensure he was okay and got home safely. While we were talking in the parking lot, he said her Honda Civic was silver in colour when we noticed one sitting in an empty, far section of the parking lot. I noticed a little light in the front seat and asked if she smoked; he answered yes and and I jumped into TR and headed over. I did not even hear Hammy yelling at me to wait, that he wanted to go with me. Life is simple for me: threaten my family, prepare for a beatdown.

Hammy played some of the messages he had on his phone and this bitch is really out there and dangerous sounding. I reminded him of what happened to my older brother (girl threatened to stab him when he was with another girl, he said go ahead, and she did so by plunging a knife into his chest, missing his heart by less than a quarter of an inch) and told him to stop playing with this girl. He has enough evidence to have a restraining order taken out on her and he needs to get it done ASAP to get this crazy ass bitch away from him. This is 2006 and you cannot play around with people who threaten to hurt you. You have to take action. So, we are going to be in his ass about this until he does something about it. We followed him home to ensure he was not being followed and we left for home.

The weekend was finally over. We were tired. We had fun. We spent money. We had fun. I chucked bad pizza. We had fun. A good weekend all around. I think we can wait till we do this again though. This coming weekend will be a touch slower; nothing on Friday, MS and PS over Saturday night and The Soca Warriors versus the Reggae Boyz at Lamport Stadium on Sunday. Oh yeah, I am on course this week as well for work so it's a nice change of pace.


Today's funny

Submitted by AL

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 52 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See ... He mated 52 times last year ... that's once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more surgeries he will likely be okay.

Print Story: Just imagine! Paper's mistake had man believing he won lotto on Yahoo! Canada News

OK, if the newspaper does not have a disclaimer like the Toronto Sun and Star have (i.e. these are unofficial numbers) then I say they should cough up some coin. If they do run a disclaimer, then this guy is a fracking idiot and should be laughed into seclusion.


Print Story: Just imagine! Paper's mistake had man believing he won lotto on Yahoo! Canada News

Friday, August 18, 2006 aka Roger's Trinbago Website

One of many website's dedicated to Trinidad by Trini's no longer in Trinidad. I will try to add some more in the coming weeks. I hope it answers some questions about being a Trini. aka Roger's Trinbago Website

Thursday, August 17, 2006

It's past 3AM and I must be dreaming.

Nope, it is not a dream. At least this part of the GTA was in full black out mode for about twenty minutes around 2:20AM this morning. I was in the garage, thankfully with a flashlight, when everything everywhere went black. First I thought it was this POS old house and all its bad wiring not liking my beer fridge run (I went for two cokes to help me finish some work), but the entire basement was out, the APCs were squealing and the little spinning disc on the hydro meter had stopped.

Now, if you have ever been to our place, you know that thing never stops with the small nuclear plant of machines we have connected here. If anything, I wonder sometimes how it doesn't spin right up and launch itself into orbit. Anyhow, I turned off what I could downstairs and made my way upstairs. I checked outside and verified that all the neighbours were out too. The night has an eerieness that makes me uneasy when it is that dark and quiet. It is very different in the city than out at a campsite.

I made my way upstairs where I checked the bathroom and noticed the night light was out. "So" you wonder, but it is a special type with a built-in emergency light and at present it was not lit. I surmised that since DW unplugs it to plug in that solar wind she calls a hair dryer, it probably did not get plugged back in properly and drained out the batteries. I mentioned this to DW when I woke her as I entered our bedroom. Sure enough, the alarm clock had lost all its settings so I fixed that and let her get back to sleep.

I'm back downstairs trying to finish up some work so I can get a little shut eye soon. Today is going to be a long day. I can feel it already.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - Print This Story - Girl Scouts Sue To Collect Cookie Payments

How frickin' sad a human being do you have to be to end up in court for this? - Print This Story - Girl Scouts Sue To Collect Cookie Payments

My Way News - Dell Recall Stems From Production Flaw

Add my batter to the list of recalled items; thankfully DW's has escaped this issue.

My Way News - Dell Recall Stems From Production Flaw

New York Daily News - Daily Dish & Gossip - Ben Widdicombe's Gatecrasher: Woods clears away gal pal

Just too weird not to share this. Way to go James!

New York Daily News - Daily Dish & Gossip - Ben Widdicombe's Gatecrasher: Woods clears away gal pal - Print This Story - Sex Ed Changes At School With 65 Pregnant Teens

Uhm, did I read that last sentence right? Between 11-19? And the young men are still alive to tell the story? Not in my ^%(*&^% house!! - Print This Story - Sex Ed Changes At School With 65 Pregnant Teens - Print This Story - Police: Man Shocks Boy To Stop Him From Urinating On Electrical Devices

OK, as Chris Rock says in one of his routines, I don't necessarily condone the action, but I understand. What would they do if nothing was done and a fire was started that killed someone? You just cannot win.

Peace. - Print This Story - Police: Man Shocks Boy To Stop Him From Urinating On Electrical Devices

Sick, Twisted, F**kers!!!

So, some sick, twisted f**ker is going to try to explain to everyone that the reason these two sick, twisted f**kers were taking their baby onto a plane they intended to blow up with the explosives in his baby bottle was because the kid would be promised virgins in the afterlife? Does anyone else not think there is something wrong with a certain segment of the population??

The Twisted Ones

Company seen on CityTv's Breakfast Television. Definitely something to consider for your next corporate event or children's birthday party.

The Twisted Ones

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


These come to you by way of a friend out in the Prairies. DW and I are like CityTV; we're everywhere!

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."


Eighteen-year old Johnny, an Altar Boy, entered the confession booth and promptly began with “Bless me Father for I have sinned, I have been with a girl in the Biblical sense.”

To which the Priest responded, “Who was it Johnny?”

The reply came, “I will not say Father”.

The Priest pressed on, “Was it Maria Conciglione?”

“No Father.”

“Was it Paula Mangione?”

“No Father”

“Was it that wayward young lady Christina Abalone?”

“No Father, please don’t ask me again.”

“Very well Johnny. But for your penance you shall not permitted to join the others at the Altar for the next month. Now say three Hail Marys and off you go.”

Upon completion, Johnny left and met up with his friend who asked, “So what happened?”

Johnny responded, “Wow. It’s fantastic! I got four weeks vacation and three promising new prospects.”

Today's Funny

Submitted by Mtl_froggie from the pond, whom I must chastise publicly for continuing to email me to my hotmail account (own by microshite corporation). I only have it because my MSN uses it. I use it for nothing else and when I stop being lazy, I will excise it like the demon spawn that it is.

Anyhow, here the jokes be:

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. (I'll bet you're going to check this out.)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". (Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to "do" this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous (You're not doubting this, are you?)

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." (Yes, admit it, you are going to say ...... a e i o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. (but who really cares?)

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is)

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.)

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

......Now you know everything!

Happy Birthday, Pumpkin!

Time. A very in demand, yet very scarce commodity. Today, well around 11:50PM, our daughter was born fifteen years ago. While it has not gone as smoothly as I planned my family life would be, it has not been unfulfilling. This timeline has passed by far too quickly and I hope to miss much less in the next fifteen years.

To TC, we wish you the happiest of birthdays and the best of wishes and intentions going forward. May you use the deep well of wisdom, common sense and caring to the best of your abilities. We love you.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

I have to give this little story. Our good friend, BT out in the pond, was telling me about her printer woes at the office. She surmised it might be her computer as the printer was working okay for someone else. I replied that it may be that her computer contraqcted a common virus called PEBKAC. She was not amused when she figured it out. Tee hee.

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

Mojito Recipes - Summer Cocktail Drink Recipes

Fell in love with this drink at The Taste of the Danforth.

Mojito Recipes - Summer Cocktail Drink Recipes

Tagged by Penny

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)

Fred Oakridge

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favorite candy)

Maude Red Licorice

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)

V. Sim (Not quite P. Lyn, but what can I do?)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)

Orange Jaguar

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)

Simon Port of Spain

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in.)

Ass-vi-bl-tor. Assvibltor. Yes, Penny, it does look like Ass-vibrator. Just let it go, and we'll call it even, okay?

7. Terrorist Name:

Skipped, not needed in these times.

8. SUPERHERO NAME: (your favorite color, favorite drink)

Orange Tequila?!?!?

I'm tagging whomever thinks they can produce better names than Ass-vibrator!!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

So much stuff so little time

Not sure exactly where I want to go with the next series of blogs so I apologize in advance if the thoughts appear random, disjointed and just plain out of left field. There has been a lot going on recently; some I can talk about, some I cannot, and some I don't want to. Right now all I can say is that there is much on the horizon and I am lost on how I am going to accomplish it all. I am going to give it my very best though. At the moment though, I have some work to do in the basement. I am not feeling so righteous about myself and I think it is because the truth hurts. I've been looking at the truth sideways for a long time and today it stepped up and clocked me square. So, faced with the truth, it is finally time for change. I'll let you know what that's all about when I feel comfortable enough to do so; right now is not anywhere near such a time. There are reasons that vampires do not have mirrors in their home (the reference may be dure to my watching Angel three times nightly when I cannot sleep); they are not the only ones that do that though.

Anyhow, if I have problems in this world, what does everyone else have? In this month alone we have the continued agression in the Middle East; Canadian military is dying every week in Afghanistan, Allied forces and local peoples are targets in Iraq and the pissant UN forces are finally getting off the pot and doing something constructive in the Israel-Palestine-Lebanon issue. We had a huge gather of people trying to ensure the AIDS epidemic is front and center in people's minds, led by Richard Gere, one of the main activists. You also have the 61st anniversary of one of the most controversial acts of all time: Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the start of the nuclear age and the end of the Second World War. While the loss and change of life in Japan is to this day unimaginable, the act of dropping Fat Man and Little Boy probably saved a whole lot more lives thereafter should the war have continued. The simple truth is, we will never truly know.

There is simply a lot going on in world right now, so I choose to carry on commenting on that for now. Peace.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Letterman on Bill Gates Retirement (Goodbye Bill)

The trusth is too frickin' funny.
Rachel Letterman

Was actually flagged as inappropriate by the YouTube community. Worth the watch.

You know, I don't believe everything this guy is saying, but oh so much of it is true as I have experienced it first hand. Remember the bullshit attempt to teach Ebonics in California to make it "easier" for the black students to do well in school? Instead of forcing the education system and social system to do better in making school available, accessible and enjoyable for everyone, they seek to downgrade the level of everything. This is not done to help the minorities, but rather to show further to those who believe that they are substandard that they really are substandard.

This guy is quite good I think.
Pirates of the Caribbean cereal commercial

Where can we buy this cereal exactly?
Girl takes pic of herself every day for three years

Very interesting exercise. I doubt I could do it everyday but possibly a week at a time.

Today's Funnies

Submitted by BT from MTL

Mowing Grass and Drinking Beer:

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she
came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"

I took a drink from my can of Busch Light, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared directly into the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass."

Two guys from Minnesota are sitting in a boat on Mud Lake fishing and sucking down beers when all of a sudden Mike says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over six months."

Harry sips his beer and says, "You better think it over. Women like that are hard to find."

LOST...the truth!

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?"

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks.

"Oy, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn't send those, either."

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you kiss me?"

Abe answers, "They'll find us!"

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 - Mother Accused of Putting Infant in Dryer

A definite case for sterilization. That is, of course, dependant on her escaping the whole lethal injection route. I naturally choose the latter option. - Mother Accused of Putting Infant in Dryer - Mother Accused of Putting Infant in Dryer

A definite case for sterilization. That is, of course, dependant on her escaping the whole lethal injection route. I naturally choose the latter option. - Mother Accused of Putting Infant in Dryer

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Another VA Computer Goes Missing

Identify theft courtesy of the US government and its contracted partners.

Another VA Computer Goes Missing

Today's Funny

Let this serve as proof and an example that my colleagues still do not understand what and email policy is.

A new scam to watch out for.....

Please be careful. I don't know how many of you shop at Costco, but this may be useful to know. I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me and it could happen to you. The victims are always males, so ladies, please pass this information along to your husbands and male friends.

Here's how the scam works...

Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another store. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday and most likely again tomorrow.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Carl Lewis

I simply don't know what to say on this except, comparatively, we have nothing to be ashamed of where Big Ben is concerned.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I need to find this commercial

Submitted by DW from this blog link.

Last night I was up late finishing a report for a meeting I have this morning at work. I had the tv on, as you do, to keep me company.

I haven't done this for quite a while, and I have forgotten how bad late night television really is.

Take this for example - An ad came on tv (imagine if you will) - it showed a fluffy cat sitting on the couch. As the camera moved closer to the cat, the cat got nervous and jumped up and behind the couch out of sight.

Next thing the cat is hissing and spitting and fur is flying everywhere. Then silence.

Next scene is the cat jumping back on the couch, completely hairless. (of course, not the same cat - this one is a naturally hairless breed like in the Austin Powers movies).

The slogan of the ad campaign?

(brand of ladies electronic razor)
We get your pussies really clean.

(only available at Club X).

Of course, they showed it every since ad break, sometimes twice, and the cat hissing and spitting upset my cats every time.

How do they get away with it?

I guess it really is all in how you say it.

A colleague/friend of ours was over with her fiance July 9th, the day of the World Cup Finals final game. After the game, we all headed out to grab some food and then head off to see my nephew play his match out in Woodbridge. Another silly friend drove his own car and decide to take the 400 to Hwy 7 and across to Rutherford... right through Northern Little Italy?!?!? He was delayed by forty minutes and missed the first half. We wisely went the lower route by the airport and arrived in time to see the whole game. The game itself wasn't bad and after some chatting post-game, we heading back home where they had their car parked.

On the way, I was thinking that these two like to have some fun, are intelligent and we enjoy hanging out with them. So, I turn the music down and ask them, "Hey, do you guys like playing games?" I think I heard some "uhms" and "ers", so I continued, "We host these adult gaming nights and thought you two might want to join us." Now all I heard was dead silence and some shuffling. So, I continued to explain how we get together with some friends and eat some food, drink some drinks and play all sorts of games. I listed out Cranium, and Crossword Pyraminds, and Trivial Pursuit and Balderdash. During this listing, I heared this gasp and laughing. So, confused, I ask, "What?"

She says to us, "Ohmigawd, you don't know how relieved we are. When you said you wanted us to join you for adult games...". We all burst out laughing at that point. Holy Crap, I did not think our freaky side showed up so much that people would think we wanted to have an orgefest or something. It was a simple, innocent moment but it provided quite a guffaw that day. I still bug BB about it today when I speak to her. She and her fiance should be joining DW, MS, PS and a few others for some "adult" fun later this month.


A day in the life of an unwilling TTC rider

"The worst part of public transportation is the Public." – [Darkwing Duck (Jim Cummings)]

Truer words were never spoken. Yesterday, TR was at Golden Mile's Service area for routine maintenance, a manufacturer's recall and some niggling issues to be taken care of. As such, DW graciously dropped me into East York for my morning class with the Diabetic folks (no, I am not, but... aw, just wait till I can post it). Anyhow, as anyone in the greater GTA area knows, it was hot as hell yesterday. The temperature hit around 37C (sorry US friends, you gotta Google a converter) with a humidex reading of approximately ten degrees more (TR's console said it was 10C outside, hence the need for service). Anyhow, after the class, I decide not to wait for the bus (against DW's wishes as she did not want the fat man to pass out on the sidewalk as he trudged down to the subway station). I popped in to the variety store for my lottery fix and started down.

Bloody nice breeze was providing cooling but it also bloody stank either from the sewer or coming up from the lake. Either way, I was actually more comfortable when the wind stopped blowing and the heat rose. I entered Coxwell station, one of the older, more beaten stops on the Bloor-Danforth line (AKA the Blue Collar line). I only ever sit if the seats are completely open. I'm anti-social and I like it that way; no people near me please. Anyhow, the ride down to the Yonge-University-Spadina line (AKA the White Collar line) was uneventful until it was time to come off at Yonge station and switch trains/lines.

EVERYONE that rides transit knows the rule of courtesy is to let the people get off the train/bus/streetcar BEFORE you attempt to enter and grab that last remaining seat. So, the train pulls into the station, the doors open, me and a few others start to exit the car, and these two ignorant assholish women start to slide themselves through the door on the sides, pushing everyone else into the middle. I spoke up as we passed each other with, "How about you let people get off the train first? Ignorant asshole!" We all make our way upstairs now, either via stairs or using the escalators. Again, EVERYONE knows that you stay right if there are people going both way on the stairs. Nope, this stupid ass woman decides she wanted to move her slow ass up the down side. This, naturally, causes the down people to move to the center to try and pass through both sides of up moving people. This, naturally, slow the entire fricking stairwell down.

And just when you thought one station could not possibly possesess more ignorance, we have the shuffle on the station going on as people jockey to get into position for the onslaught that happens when people board the train going South on the line. While we are waiting for that train to come, a new breed of stupidity rears its head. This woman, late thirties, early to mid-forties, and her two sons are there. EVERYONE knows the yellow, rubberized, two-foot wide strip is there to a) allow the sight-impaired to "feel" where the edge is better and b) help prevent accidents of the kind where people get smushed by the train. We won't mention the wackos that push people onto the tracks (which is why I almost always stand with my back to the wall while waiting for a train to stop). So, what does this woman do? Her younger son is about 9-12 years of age and his laces are untied. She actually bends down to tie this young man's laces for him. While he is standing ON the yellow strip. With his BACK to the train tracks. These same people, later when we got off at the Dundas Street/Eaton Centre stop, ran ALONG the safety strip right beside the moving train pulling out of the station. IDIOTS.

Oh yes, one more example of why I hate riding on the TTC. When the train came to the Yonge stop, the announcer reminded everyone to let the folks off the train first. The area around each door parts like Moses with the Red Sea, and a flood of people stream from inside the cars. Then, a flood of people stream into the cars. Seconds before the door closes, a chime sounds and lights flash at each door. I am one of the last to get on the car because I want to stand at the door. This other guy is coming in beside me. If I saw the woman with the stroller, he sure as hell had to. So, instead of moving in far enough for her to get in, dumbass stops partway in, blocking her. This forces her to swing the stroller and herself quickly sideways so she does not get jammed in the fast closing doors (they do open but it can hurt if caught, I know). The problem with this is she swings the stroller, complete with medium-sized child, right into my leg and foot. She apologizes, and I am not mad at her, since dumbass (who found more room inside) was the cause of it. It just justified paying ridiculous gasoline prices for the comfort, safety, convenience and solitude that sitting in the Roo provides me.

Transit is definitely essential to a big city like Toronto, because without it, I would have to contend with these butt-munches on the road each and every day. I simply don't think my fragile little mind could handle that.

Today's Funny

Actually some clip links in light of mine and DW's night out tomorrow. Many thanks, as always to The Daily Wav. Enjoy.

"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'" [Michael Pallin]

"What makes you think she's a witch? –Well, she turned me into a newt! –A newt? –I got better." – [Terry Jones and John Cleese]

"Pies Iesu Domine. —(thwack) –Donna Eis Requiem. –(thwack) " – [various monks]

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" – [John Cleese]


And this basically sums up most of my days at work right now:

"Hey, what happened? –Vershürn dern mör de ver de ver de flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip." – [Kermit and the Swedish Chef]

Mel the Passion of the Internet

An interesting assortment of references to the expected fallout in all of this Mel Gibson business. To be honest, I haven't paid a whole lot of attention to it. The funny thing is, if you ask my family (the Jewish side), they will tell you that they simply did not understand what the big fuss was about; certain Jews of the time killed Jesus Christ, it is an historical fact.

What I find truly funny is that everyone, everywhere is making a huge fuss about about one man says during a drunken outburst after being stopped, and probably feeling like shit knowing he was going to be charged with DUI. America, you all really need better things to do as you obviously have way too much time on your hands. How about you spend some time cleaning up the daily, insidious comments across your great nation. How about the daily comments made against Black, Latinos, Asians, Native Indians, and anyone else not of an Anglo Saxon nature?

Right, too hard, too much, and no one really cares about those anyhow. We understand.

CANOE -- JAM! - Mel the Passion of the Internet

Canada should be ashamed of itself

We should all feel the shame where this story is concerned. How does Immigration justify what they did here? A sixty year old mother trying to grant her dying daughter's wish to see her and the reason she was denied entry is because they were uncertain she would want to return to Columbia? Ahem, people, did you look at your track record for the kind of scum you let in AND allow to stay here and you have the audacity to deny this woman entry on compassionate grounds???

Shame, shame, shame. Thankfully, the embarrassment of having this exposed in the media allowed you to rethink that obviously stupid position.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: At the behest of my LB, here is a link to the original story when her mother was denied access.)

Ford is looking to sell off its Jaguar division, and possibly others.

At first I was surprised to read this but as I went through the story, that lessened considerably. I drive an SUV of sorts, my wonder Roo is a Chevy Trailblazer EXT as you all know. And yes, with current gas prices, it is a hard hit on the wallet at the gas pumps come fill-up time. I continue to drive it knowing and accepting this fact. I simply cannot afford to buy a new vehicle right now, but if I could, it probably would be a Toyota (the company kicking Ford's ass right now in the US). Toyota has done what the fat cat, dinosaurs of the US refused to do; they made vehicles that people wanted, vehicles that used less fossil fuels and were good to the environment. While Toyota strived forward to make it a realistic fact, GM, Ford and Chrysler continue to offer piecemeal, scattered product instead of a true lineup that the enviromentally conscious consumer would want to purchase.

With more cars being bought of the type, thus bringing down the price of entry, Toyota has been able to expand its Hybrid line-up to the types of cars people want to buy. Not only do you have the somewhat odd Prius, but you can buy a Civic and even a Lexus Hybrid model; yes, a luxury vehicle without the luxury tax. This should have been the focus of the Big Three ten years ago. Ford should have more than a Tribute-clone sportute to offer. GM should have more than experimental fleet vehicles in isolated pockets of the country. Chrysler should simply be ashamed of itself.

I won't use this post to bash the auto-workers union which is taking a hit hitself in terms of the amount of people to be laid off from all three companies by 2012; the writing was on the wall and they turned a blind eye to it. Their contribution aside, they can look at their respective companies refusal to get dirty and get the job done as a big reason sales continue to slide for everyone but the imports. Do I love North American built vehicles? Of course I do. I would buy another Trailblazer in a heartbeat. Will that be my next vehicle? With the price of gas rising, probably not. Europe, Africa and a lot of other places learned long ago that diesel was the way to go. So, if I am capable, it will be a diesel Mercedes Benz or a Hybrid Toyota in our driveway next. That is, unless the Big Three would actually like to tell me something new by then.

Peace. - french english anglais francais français audio The Canadian Press Online news photos internet live current associatson SYMBOL:NYSE:F, NYSE:GM, NYSE:DCX, NYSE:TM, NYSE:HMCCP Automotive, Business, Economy, Labour, International DETROIT (AP) Fo

Rebagliati sues CTV- Ot

Seriously. Who cares? Some people think their importance is far above what it really is. No one cares about this guy. No one I know of cares about his reputation or even watches this sorry show on CTV. It is all a publicity stunt and when it is all said and done, he will simply be a footnote in Canada once again. Dude, get a life.

CANOE -- SLAM! Sports - Other Sports - Rebagliati sues CTV

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Israeli forces step up attacks

As an immediate update to my long post below, things are about to get much worse. Thankfully, as the air strikes subside, so should the amount of innocent deaths. Most of the infrastructure of Hezbollah's southern activities have been destroyed, unfortunately along with almost everything else in the area. That said, with 10,000 ground troops moving in, this will either be over fairly quickly or will get very bloody between the two groups. The troops have already captured a Hezbollah controlled hospital and at least three of the guerillas. Hopefully this will not lead to another occupation of south Lebanon as that is something that should not be allowed to happen. The International community needs to step up and step in and settle this powderkeg right down.

Peace. Please!

CANOE -- CNEWS - World: Israeli forces step up attacks

Pedophile surrenders, boys OK

Peter Robert Joseph Whitmore, 35, has been arrested after a standoff. Still think we don't need the death penalty back?

CANOE -- CNEWS - Law: Pedophile surrenders, boys OK: "Peter Robert Joseph Whitmore, 35, "

A touchy subject

I was not sure I was going to touch upon this topic and even if I did, I had no idea what I was going to say. That all changed today when a colleague of mine did the unthinkable and EMAILED a series of propaganda pictures around to people in the office using our office email system. To say this was stupid and a possible CEM (Career Ending Move) is putting it mildly. To say I was shocked by the pictures would be incorrect. To see this person take sides in this matter, and to the side that was taken in this manner, was surprising, disturbing and a bit shocking. I have seen explicit pictures of death before so I was neither grossed out nor particularly shocked at the extent of human misery. You can say I am one of those that don't necessarily go hunting for the graphic depictions of life, but I do not shy away from it either. In any case, these pictures, laid out in a way to show the Israelis in an evil light and the Lebanese (especially the children killed) in an innocent light, made me angry. I needed to let some time pass before I could post something that was of pure thought and not truly borne of raw emotion. So, at 4:59AM, I sit here after watching three straight episodes of Angel and am now ready to write this post. One more thing, I will NOT post any of the graphic pictures as I will do nothing to further the propaganda from either side.

So, let me be upfront first (in case you missed it before) by saying I am a Roman Catholic that married a Jewish woman. Immediately that would paint me as having a bias for the Israeli side of things. You would be well within your right to think so, IF you never met me and got to know me. If you know me, you know I walk to my own rhythm, I follow my own path and I think for my own self. I do not give a flying fig what other people's opinions are before I form my own and I will do battle to prove my side cheerfully conceding to a better argument, if one can be made; it rarely is. So, jumping right into it, what side am I on?

Call it a cop out if you would like, but I am on the side of truth and justice. Let me explain my position and you will get an understanding of where I am coming from. Where Israel is concerned, like any other nation on Earth, I believe in their right to exist; a view not shared by a bunch of extremists and terrorists including those involved in the current conflict with them. How can one hope to foster an understanding between two groups if one of them is coming to the table with aspirations that you simply cease to exist and will do whatever they can to help make that reality come true? I know I would not be saddling up to the table, but Israel does in the hopes of coming to a peaceful agreement. Have they performed their own share of shit? Of course Israel has.

Israel has conflicting views within the country itself, much less with its neighbours. And, to be perfectly honest, I have a problem with a lot of the self-righteous, self-serving Jewish groups in the developed nations because they tend to be hypocrites when it comes to dealing with issues. My biggest issue with them is that not all Jews are of the same value. Check out the plight of the Russian and Ethiopian Jews if you are unfamiliar with this problem. As far as I am concerned, the B'Nai Brith is the worse offender of them all. Now all that said, let us concentrate on the current issue at hand.

If you were warring with some of the neighbours in your neighbourhood, and you essentially said to stay the hell away from your designated area, but they keep coming in and messing up the garden, you would take steps to keep them out. OK, now those neighbours, come in and take your dog, the cat and your gnomes, kicking over everything else in their path. Would you sit idly by and wait for the safe return of those items or would you go knocking down some doors, kicking the shit out of them and retrieving your items? And no, I am not making light of the situation or trying to be overly simplistic in this. I am trying to point out that the situation is similar to the scenario I have just illustrated but on a grander scale (country-wide, with international influence) and with greater consequences (human lives and property are being lost). What exactly did anyone think the response would and should be?

You have one soldier being taken hostage, suicide bombers threatening the citizens of your land and grenades being lobbed over the fence into your yard. As you try to get your person back, you lose another two people, have rockets being fired into your yard and a slack set of parents (the Lebanonese government) doing nothing to control its children (the Hezbollah regime). So, the International community expected diplomats and the UN and the rest of that lot to fix the problem, right? Hmm, this thought is because they have done so well in Darfur, Sudan, Ethiopia, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Serbia, Rwanda, Congo, and all of the other hotspots around the world. The UN cannot protect it's own offices in Lebanon, how the hell can they protect anyone else? Israel told everyone not Hezbollah to get the hell out. Knowing what their armed forces are capable of, why the hell would anyone stay in the area designated as targets?!?!

One school of thought is that Hezbollah promised them safety simply to be used as pawns, as collateral when the inevitable happens. Such a ploy is evidenced by the email that is currently circulating exploiting the images of the killed innocents. It has Israeli children writing on shells and bombs (no reference showing this is a current picture and these weapons are what was used when the innocents were killed) and a whole series of images of the dead children from that unfortunate air strike.

As I am writing this, the CityTV newscast is replaying on TV and a Lebanese representative is explaining about the unfortunate innocents that were killed in this conflict and how the Israelis are wrong, blah, blah, blah. Sorry for the irreverence but in order to speak about the Lebanese innocents, you have to mention the Haifa innocents that Hezbollah killed FIRST. What about the innocents bombed at roadside cafes? What about the innocents killed by the cowards who would bomb a school bus, or a tourist transport, or a wedding party (killing all members of the bride's family)?

The one-sided reporting is maddening and it drives people to choose sides. I am not going to be on the side of cowards and people who kill in the name of their God with disrespect to others rights to live. Christians to this day are scolded for the atrocities of their past (read Charlemagne and the Inquisition, etc). I am also not going to be on the side of a group that does not take steps to lessen the spread of evil or that kills in a blanket manner rather than attempt to root out the evil.

I absolutely abhor the loss of innocent lives. In no way can I or will I condone the killing of innocent people and fluff it off as collateral damage. I also cannot condone these innocents being used as shields or diversions from the truth as they are made or convinced to remain in the line of fire. My parents taught my siblings and I a simple lesson when we were young; it applies as a framework to this issue. The lesson was: Do not go out and start any fights, but make sure you end them and don't come home and tell us that you lost. No one in my family ever lost a fight in their childhood.

Forget the history and the bullshit excuses about the past and who did what before. The simple fact is, someone in the Palestinian regime thought it was a good idea to hold an Israeli soldier hostage; they were wrong. Israeli asked nicely that the soldier be returned; it did not happen. When Israeli, rightfully, retaliated, did the dumbasses cough up the soldier? No, instead they call on their dumbass bully friends to kidnap more soldiers and, oh yeah, launch a few rockets into the Israeli's yard too. Israeli again asked nicely to have the soldiers returned; it did not happen. When Israeli, again rightfully, retaliated, they get vilified by the ball-less wonder, Kofi Anon, when the very forces he is supposed to command are as strong as a ninety-year old's member first thing in the morning before the blue pill is swallowed. And then today, I hear that the UN has DELAYED the meeting to come up with a plan by two days. Uhm, excuse me? What the F**k do you have to do that is so important that this issue can be put on the back burner for two days?!>?!!

Look, I do not agree with the loss of life on either side, and normally I would be the first in line to agree that Israeli needs to back up. In this matter though, even though I cannot agree with all of it, I understand. Let's just hope that someone can put an end to this quickly before it gets even more out of hand (in case you are not up on the area, there are lots of nukes about). We really do not need another World War. Ever.

Peace. I hope. Soon.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Tuesday's Funny

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.

A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Moral: Don't Mess With Old Ladies