Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Did I tell you about the time the child was high?

Ok, unfortunately for TC, she inherited a lot more from my side of the gene pool than she bargained for. She is tall like me, rotund like me, strong like me, has so many of my mannerisms it's scary and, sucks to be her, has a lot of my dental issues. To be fair though, I took much better care of my teeth which is why it was my thirties (as chronicled in this blog) before I got my first filling.

So, there we were, on March 16th, last day of March break, at the dental surgeon on Danforth at 9:30AM. We got out late, I was on-call, but thankfully the traffic cooperated as I flew down the 401 and DVP to just make it on time. Sorry to add to more stress TC but work is work, ya know. I thought the whole thing would take a couple of hours but it went much faster than I expected.

We got into the office and checked in. I fired up the laptop to answer a couple of tickets. We filled out the last necessary forms and waited for the doctor to finish with another patient. It could not have been more than 10-15 mins total when she was called in without me. Maybe 20-30 mins later, I was called up to pay for the procedure ($1600+, but thankfully a good chunk covered by the medical plan I opted for at work, money well spent indeed), and then maybe 20 mins after that, she was ready to go after some time in recovery. I am not sure I can do the experience justice but I will do my best to illustrate it for you.

When I entered the back room, TC was sitting up on the bed, gauze in mouth, awake, aware... and giggling. Yep, she was very HAPPY, the child. I was greeted with a muffled, "Hi, Dad", a pained smile and a giggle. I replied, "Hi-gh, is right." More giggling. The medical assistant smiled and explained the procedure, what was happening next, the drugs (antibiotics, a type of perc for pain and another one I do not remember what it was for but very limited dosage on that one. TC was bleeding a fair bit so she had to get her gauze changed again before we left and they gave us some more to take with us (which would prove to not be enough). She had a good drool going too as we were cleared to leave. That's when things got interesting.

The child got up to leave and we had to help her onto her wobbly feet. She then HUGGED the medical assistant as she said goodbye to her. We then headed out to the side door (probably there so the people waiting don't freak out before they get done). She said bye with large waves, big gauzed smile and the giggling to every single person she saw in the office on the way out the door. I helped her down the stairs and we ventured outside.

Once outside, the cool air only helped her "airy" feeling. She giggled across the road, as she crossed diagonally, giggled as I told her to watch herself on the ice, giggled as I opened the door, and then giggled as I made fun of her giggling. We then set off to Shopper's Drug Mart to get her more drugs, especially since her jaw was starting to feel funny.

We got to the pharmacy and I helped her inside, we gave in our prescription and then sat down to wait. I left her there to go off and pick up a couple of magazines for her to read as she recovered. The pharmacist was pretty quick so he was done filling them before I got back so TC motioned, and called, loudly, down the aisle that he was looking for me. We paid (well, actually we did and did not, plans to the rescue again) and left, upon which the child was again giggling, waving wildly to the lady at the front register and calling out "bye" to her. Yep, still high.

She was doing fine on the ride home until I hit a particularly nasty rut in the road and it jostled her a different way. She was starting to feel it now so I got her home as quickly as possible, got her the mags and her drugs and some food since she had not eaten since dinner time the night before. Her lunch ended up being cheese and meet and bread that she tore off to place on her tongue to soften and then swallow. Naturally, she forgot at times and ended up in pain as she bit down incorrectly. Thankfully I had bought a box of gauze as well so we continued packing to help the bleeding stop.

She drifted off to sleep and I went back to work. Man, her first real drunk I will have to get on tape. :)


A smattering of this and that.

Spring may be here but I am mired in the winter of my discontent. Ah well, I will bitch and moan later. For now, let me touch upon a few things quickly.

  • Predators need to be punished in such a way that a) it deters the ones not caught, and b) ensures that should the asshole is released one day, he or she will truly think twice about scratching that nasty, disgusting itch of theirs. This week, a father got a whopping THREE years for not only having sex with his own daughter but also giving her gonorrhea. THREE years? With a roof, hot and cold running water, a toilet, a shower, sex, drugs and cable?!?!? Are you f**king kidding me? Tell you what, why don't you ship his ass to Trinidad for three years, notifying the locals of his crimes, and we will ship him back in 2010.
  • In war there are no rules. I truly believe that President Bush was wrong for WHY he went to war and WHY he still wages war, BUT if you are going to do it, DO IT! The enemy throws people out daily to literally die for their cause. Well the leaders who will not die for it themselves do so; guess we are not that different after all. Anyhow, the enemy does not seem bound by "do not torture, no innocents, hit only military targets, be nice" or other such sentiments. OK, we screwed up, we did not understand the rules. With over THREE THOUSAND American soldiers alone killed, can someone start playing with the enemy's rulebook? Ensure a house has the rebels, blow up house. Ensure town is full of rebels, blow up town. Ensure rebels are somewhere in the mountains, eradicate mountain. LIGHT THE F**KER UP!!! Will this escalate the war? It might make some of the other enemies nervous but I would simply give those folks lots of money, lots of assurances, and a promise that if they do not hinder the process of finding the little shits who blew up two nice buildings, we will not worry about playing the game with them too.
  • I saw an article recently about Britain identifying that something like 40-60% of all their heroin comes from Afghanistan. Hmm. Really? You mean you needed to spend money to discover this? Have you tried Googling for the pictures of the poppy plants littering all the fertile valleys in the country? It's the only damn "green" thing growing there so it is really not that hard to find. Every farmer worth his salt is going to grow the shit because it is not only hard to grow anything else, anything else produces a whole lot less money. Of course, the idiots out there would be worried about the poor farmers who are forced to grow the crops for various warlords. Hmmm, did you read the previous bullet? LIGHT THEM UP! When the warlords are toasted, literally, do the same for every growing area in the country. Pure scorched earth policy on this on. If you bleeding hearts want to help, take the billions you will save in healthcare, law enforcement, jails, and burials from the absence of all the heroin addicts and help build the country to export something a little less harmless to the rest of the world.
  • Harper is such a dick!
  • Kids today simply do not get it and I blame the parents, myself included. With the push of technology, it is a fast food, fast life, instant gratification, low tolerance kind of world we built for them and we f**ked them up. Back to the old corporal punishment argument but when you knew a hand would come fast for back talk, you simply did NOT dare do it. When you knew there would be consequences hard enough to hurt, you thought THRICE or MORE before doing it. Now, when a kid walks down a hallway, throws thrash down, gets told to pick it up, complains at home and the parents show up at the school with a lawyer stating that their kid went to school to learn not to be the janitor, we have a serious societal issue. Where the Internet is concerned, knowledge is bliss, is dangerous, is plentiful and is ignored. We used to think we know it all but the difference is back then what we did not know might hurt us. Nowadays, what the kids don't know could kill them, someone they know or everyone they come in contact with. I don't know the answer to this one because the line keeps changing where it wants to sit; strict, lenient, conservative, liberal, open, closed. It used to be so black and white. WHERE DID ALL THIS GREY COME FROM?
  • Love is a funny thing; funny peculiar, not funny ha-ha. My former wife was a self-absorb, controlling, untrusting freak of nature. I thought by leading by example she would see that not all men are dogs and that some of us can be taken at face value. What I learned to my regret was that nothing would enlighten her, she would never believe it and in the end I chose to prove her right just because I was fed up. Well, not exactly. I actually fell into TRUE love. You know, that unconditional , unselfish, soul-wrenching, I cannot wait to experience it again, longing, aching kind of feeling. This popped into my head again last night as DW and I watched that gawd-awful Sanjaya (okay, the boy can sing but he has yet to own up to that talent on the show and should be ass out) and the super hot, better legs, booty and bust than Antonella Barba (cumming to a nudie calendar or movie near you) Ms. Haley. The girl has powerful legs, a nice rack and is pleasant to look at from any angle. What did my DW say when I extolled her various ample virtues? Uhm, she pointed out some of them first. You see, my lovely wife has no hangups, no apprehensions, no worries. Would she ever say to me go screw anything female with two legs as long as you come home? HELL NO. However, she will say to go ahead and enjoy the fantasy knowing that at the end of the day, it is her I choose to curl up next to and keep awake with my snoring (which is very bad due to fatigue these days). It is her feet that I choose to rub and play with while watching TV on the couch. It is her that I want to share good news with first when I hear it. It is her that I keep in near constant contact all day long via MSN and BB messenger and email and phone. AND, this is the key, we do that NOT because we have to, but because we want to and we enjoy each other's company that much. I don't have a wife, I have a life partner and best friend and lover and mother and nurse and cook and goddess and child and everything in between. I willingly would put my life on the line for my child(ren) because that is what I believe in as a parent. I would willingly do that for her because without her, I may as well perish.
  • I hate sappy people. They get on my nerves. :)
  • Did I call Harper a dick? I apologize. I meant to say he was a king-kong-sized phallus!
  • I need to make some changes but as anyone that knows me can attest, I don't do change well. Sigh. That said, I need to do it not only for my family but also for myself. What all those changes are will be revealed through the year as they happen but without making resolutions, going forward is going to be my "Shit or Get off the Pot" quest for life.
  • How does one fill a 500GB drive with TV and then get to watch it all? Dang.
  • Don't you hate when someone says it will be a short post and then you are reading forever before they just shut the hell up already?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

This is NOT a voting contest!

To all my American friends, GET A GRIP!!! Look, I know not everyone is into the reality TV shows and that is fine. Those of us who are though take this somewhat seriously because we do get invested and we do want to see the deserving people get the rewards. Sanjaya, nice kid and all, SUCKS compared to his other fellow contestants and to a few who did not get his chance. He does not seem to be taking it seriously, striving to get better, wanting to be there and to do his best. We should have gotten his sister instead; if she were there at least we would have had some eye candy after Antonella "my boobs are real" Barba got kicked off (and deservedly so because she SUCKED). I hope that when Sanjaya eventually fades into obscurity, he is supremely surpassed by all the castoffs left in his wake with each and every one of them getting a recording contract. If he had been knocked out in the round of 24, I would have cheered for him to come back the following year after a little vocal training and experience. Now, I just want him gone.

The sooner, the better.


'American Idol' has surprise elimination -

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Thursday's Funny

Another gem submitted by BT from MTL.


1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an
Island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.
( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.
(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)

13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because the water fired right up her fat ass.
(Jule age 7)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Justice for the criminals, not the innocent children

I am at a loss for words. The sheer stupidity of this judge astounds the sensibilities of any normal person. I would jail them both. Nuff said.

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Wednesday's Funnies

Submitted by LB

Subject: Bush in Hell

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell. No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"


Submitted by BT from MTL


Subject: Present for the Teacher

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.

She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.

"No," the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?.

"No," said the little boy.....

"It's a puppy!"

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A picture says a thousand words.

More often than not, recently, talk amongst my colleagues have drawn to what direction we think we are being led in (read as, which butcher gave them the best price). It's a shame for this place and we hope things change but realistically we do not hold out much hope. The included Dilbert(tm) cartoons pretty much sums it up.

In a word? DAMN!

Monday, March 19, 2007

Monday Funny

Submitted by LB
"What Face Mean To The Chinese"

An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted.

When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded.

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared.

Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Japanese quickly used their hands to cover their privates. But the Chinese covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the American and the Japanese asked the Chinese why he covered his face rather than his private part.

The Chinese replied, "I don't know about you, but in my country, it's the face that people recognize."


Mike Mavis said he was listening to The Team 1200 one morning and heard "I once met Don Cherry and Blue his dog"

The weather is getting better so you know what that means...

Yep, Bar-B-Que season is almost on us. Thanks to MsMittens for this link to get us in the proper frame of mind as the warmer temps start to roll on it.

Neatorama » Blog Archive » Top 10 Coolest BBQ Grills (And Then Some!)

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Another funny for you

Submitted by a colleague

Here are 12 of the finest double-entendres that were aired on British TV & Radio

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

Thursday's funny

Submitted by AL

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

* You make the bed (+1)
* You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
* You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
* In the rain (+8)
* But return with Beer (-5)
* You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
* You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
* You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
* It's her pet (-20)

* You stay by her side the entire party (0)
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
* Named Tina (-10)
* Tina is a dancer (-20)
* Tina has silicon implants (-80)

* You take her out to dinner (+2)
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
* Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
* And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

* You take her to a movie (+1)
* You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
* You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
* You take her to a movie you like (-2)
* It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

* You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

* She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
* You hesitate in responding (-10)
* You reply, "Where?" (-35)
* Any other response (-20)

* When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
* You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

Was much debate really necessary?

Once it was proven beyond a shadow of any doubt that he killed that little girl after raping her, it should have been automatic. Nuff said.

Couey wants death for Florida girl's killer -

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IT Tidbits: What will they think of next, Ric?

I always like the technology and thinking behind things that are bad for computer systems. I mean, think about the coding behind the ability to infect and make thousands upon thousands of unknown machines all around the world, rise up and do your bidding. Powerful stuff indeed. Anyhow, this particular item does not do that but is fascinating nevertheless. From what I read on another site, you can use this program with an iPod (like the 80GB iPod Video), connect to the machine with the goodies and SUCK the iPod full of stuff.

The funny thing is, this is not new, just a more efficient method of doing it. When the iPod first came out, it was really geared and promoted as only a music player. I think when the 5GB model was upgraded to a 20GB, there was speculation that people would not buy it as quickly due to no having as much music to fill it so the idea of using it as a portable hard drive device grew in popularity. This use gained more momentum when the ubiquitous USB connector was added. Now one could walk up to any modern day USB-enabled computer and connect the iPod, transfer the files they wanted, disconnect and walk away without anyone ever knowing. You could do this at your workplace or, as Apple-selling stores were soon to find out, at a local retailer. Many a store had someone walk in with the innocent player on their heads, connect to the Mac of choice while supposedly demoing it, and copy over all the thousands of dollars worth of applications contained on each unit. This was before product activation license and such so all you needed was the folder where all the files where stored and you had the entire application. Slick, sweet, fast and totally illegal.

Now all of that just got slicker, sweeter, faster but still just as illegal. Just don't do it folks; use it only on files and machines you are authorized to obtain data from.


OMG... Slurp.exe, a Trojan Horse Made for U3

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IT Tidbits: Protect your private iPod viewing.

Just have to watch that pr0n movie on the way to work? Stop your fellow TTC riders from thinking you are a pervert (or from getting off in the seat beside you); buy one of these.


iStyles iPod Video Privacy Screen Protector :: iPod Hacks :: The Latest and Greatest News and Info for Your iPod

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IT Tidbits: Check here first before buying your next Apple product.

Apple is notorious for not announcing when they are changing/updating a current product line. I got caught a few months before a change in the iPod so got the last iPod at 40G with the black and white scree. The iPod was update mere months afterwards to the iPod Photo with a colour screen and then a few months after that to the current iPod video. Now, you can buy twice the capacity, twice the playing time, half the size for 2/3 the price. Progress I guess. :)


Mac Buyer's Guide: Know When to Buy Your Mac

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Wednesday's Funnies

Submitted by LB

Dr Dave

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

But every now and then he'd hear an internal reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last.... And you're single. Just let it go."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality.






're a vet!

Submitted by PS

Barry feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her on such a delicate subject he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. "Here's what you do," said the Doctor. "Stand about 50 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not go to 40 feet, then 30 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening , the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 50 feet away, let's see what happens"

Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner ?"

No response.

So Barry moves closer to the kitchen about 40 feet from Joan and repeats "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

So he walks up closer to his wife and repeats "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey what's for dinner?"

Again there's no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

"BARRY, for the FIFTH FUCKIN' time, CHICKEN!!!"

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Tuesday funny

Submitted by LB and dedicated to my favourite amphibian.

I needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was
doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "...And where do you think you're going?"
She said, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the DARK!"

Ran across this page this morning while googling.

What can I say? The girl is a skank. Why? Not because she chose not to wear any underwear but because she chose not to wear any KNOWING that these vultures were waiting to snap every angle of her and to get anything that would sell a story and their pictures. You want to get back into the limelight and fame and fortune Britney? Try singing half as well as Christina and the rest of your competition.


Britney's Beaver - The Final Collection

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Monday, March 12, 2007

I sooo love Mondays

It's a mixed bag today as the child has started her March Break but since she is still pretty much under lockdown, she won't be going anywhere fun for the week. Maybe the warmer weather will bring with it a softer, gentler outlook from me and DW on her situation.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ooops, sorry, was that out loud?

I went into the workplace today as we are having renovations done and our side needed to move our desks during this period. We are now in a large back hallway space complete with flat folding tables (the kind you bring to picnics and carnivals). We'll be here for one to three weeks. It's been interesting reconnecting with folks, including my boss, and our area is lots quieter than the main office so that has been strangely nice too (since I love noise).

The child is at home doing her chores and getting the place ready for the return of her mum. I started our laundry before I left for work with the intention of finishing it when I got home. TC actually called and asked if I wanted her to continue it for me. Ohmigawd I think she's got it!! If not, she will in due time.

We leave for the airport a little early tonight as I have to pass by my nephew's new place in order to pick up some backups that he would like to be stored off-site for him. :) I will naturally check to ensure the integrity of the backups this week for him. DW gets in at 2245 and I am sure all that sand, surf, spa and sun probably has the poor dear all tired out and such. T S!

Max is running fine and I need to watch my foot on his accelerator because we could have some great fun, but potentially expensive fun (should the po-po come a-calling). I cannot wait to get TR swapped out for DW's minivan preference. Then Max and I will undergo some slight modifications to make things just right. Nothing warms a father's heart than his daughter asking for more bass. Good times.


A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down...

Unfortunately, I am all out of sugar so I delivered a Buckley's(tm) dosage of reality at full strength to my niece last night. The sheer expression on her face and the tone in her voice made it clear that she was not happy with the contract I wrote up that she would have to sign, and adhere to, as a condition of staying at the Casa de Dtrini. While DW had apprehensions based on our previous experiences in the old house (see previous post on the subject), she agreed to because it was family but more because we agreed that this was more for my sister than my niece. So, after reading the contract which had details about what was expected of her while staying with us, it was not a surprise that her only question concerned the provision under the heading "CHARGES".

We are not charging my niece to stay with us. Instead, due to her picky and, at times, voracious appetite, we insisted that she buy and supply herself with her own day to day food, drinks and snacks. When we cook a family meal, she is naturally included in that if she wants what we prepared; other than that, she is left to her own devices. The kicker is that since we have drawn a hard line, layered with adamantium, in the calendar that says she will be out of the house no later than April 30th, we wanted to make sure that no matter the plan, she would have the ability (i.e. funds) to make that happen. We are demanding she hand over money from each of her cheques up to April 30th. This will be a equal fraction of her expected required first and last payment for an apartment or condo (i.e. $1800 total). The money will be held in trust with DW and I and returned when she is either securing her new place or at the end of the contract.

She looked at me in a bit of shock and disbelief that I was doing this. She expected just a simple discussion where I did my usual hot-air posturing as old uncle and that would be it. We were determined to make her understand that she damaged our relationship greatly with her previous disrespect. We also wanted her to start getting used to the real world and how things work in life. No one just gives you anything anymore without expecting something in return. And no one goes into an arrangement anymore without something down in writing; it is foolish to do otherwise. I forced my co-worker to write up a receipt of payment when I took her car telling her, "there is friends, there is family, and there is money; don't mix them".

So, in the discussion as it continued, I lectured my niece on hedging her bets that certain arrangements with her mother would come through. I asked her what her plan was if they did not happen. She did not know. What if things are not finalized or guaranteed? She did not know. I lectured her that her primary goal right now should be to secure a roof under which to lie her head; all other goals are secondary until she does that. She said she was looking for another job and/or a second one because her current job does not cover all her expenses. I deadpanned that her "expenses need to change then". I repeated it because she was obviously upset and stunned at hearing this and I wanted to make sure that she got it. She cannot continue to live in the style she wants to because she bloody well cannot afford to right now.

I then slipped in the question about how much she had saved towards getting a place. NOTHING. I sipped my tea, shook my head and explained that it was exactly what I was trying to teach her. She is SOL if she continues the way she is going so we were going to force her to be ready for life, at least in what little way we can. I told her that come the end of April either she will have the money saved with us that was necessary for her first and last, or if things works out with her mother's plans, then she will have $1800 to clear up some bills with; it's a win-win situation for her. Still a fairly blank look of stunned disbelief.

I got up as my herbal tea was nearly finished and I was done talking. I told her to think about it and figure out what she wants to do; sign it or not it is up to her. However, I made it clear that her staying till the end of April was only possible with her agreeing to the terms in the contract and signing it; any other decision gives her a week. I then set my cup down and went back to my office. She passed by and asked if she could give it to me in the morning, to which I answered that it was fine by me. I saw her this morning when she asked about what to do with the door (as she had not yet gotten the spare key from my sister) and I told her to just pull it closed when she left.

She did not mention nor produce the contract. It will be dealt with this evening because she signs it today or finds someplace to live by the weekend. Life is rough, get used to it kiddo and start taking care of your own shit! And sis, I know you are reading this, it is time to allow her or make her do so. When she feels the pinch, she will recall everything we all tried to tell her, teach her, show her and make her understand. As the old saying goes, children who do not hear, does feel. If she still fails to hear after this, we all need to let her feel it a bit.


Monday Funny

Item from BT in MTL

This takes about 5 min buts is worth watching.
If you like Billy Joel, you'll love this. Turn up your speakers.


Blond Ambition

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Wyoming rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial-insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today.I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's stall in the barn.You show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?" So the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while the artificial-insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.Amy takes him down to the barn.
They walk along long row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one....right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another dizzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me ,little lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple; by the nail over its stall," Amy explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns to walk away and, with complete confidence, says,"I guess it's to hang your pants on."


Who is the real idiot?

This could happen to you.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"*

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them, "No.......I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...

"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!"


Answers To The 5 Most Important Questions

This is what we have been waiting for...the true answers to the 5 most important questions in the world:


A: It's Braille for "suck here".


A: It's the same as a French kiss, only "down under."


A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.


A: Because, when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.


A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Just when you though four posts were enough for one day...

Something big enough comes along to make a fifth necessary. My sister, who apparently reads my blog now (scary thought) is caught between a rock and a hard place that many a parent finds themselves in from time to time. The rock and the hard place can also be labeled "sink" and "swim". In between rock/sink and hard place/swim floats lazily oblivious her daughter, my niece. I am pretty sure I posted about her before but if not, let me give you the Coles Notes version.

My niece is always competing with her brother for attention. This has gone on forever and is normal in siblings. The problem lies in that at 24 and 27 respectively, it still carries on. She just refuses to get the fact that her brother does things without pretense, he visits for the sake of seeing family, he emails, he MSNs to check in, he shows interest. She, on the other hand, is a little more than a bit self-absorbed, needy and operates under an air of entitlement. She complains how everyone, especially her mother, treats her brother better and prefers him and on and on. Uhm, could it be the incessant whining? Could it be the laziness? Could it be the selfish outlook? Or how about the delusional rose-coloured glasses?

While we are on the topic of delusional, instead of establishing herself on her own and then working up, she wants everything right now. She wants to change jobs to, quote, "have enough funds to support the lifestyle I want to live", end quote. Hmm, I see. I think they have medicine and a medical procedure to correct this. She had a sweet deal at my sister's house. She was to pay $350/mth which gave her the ENTIRE basement to herself. This include bedroom, bathroom, living room, parking and storage. Her only other expense to the house was to pay for TV (in this case StarChoice); everything else my sister took care of. She kept on on neither. How in the world does she expect to go out in the world where rent (2 to 4 times what she was asked to pay) may include heat and water but phone, cable, hydro are all extra?

A while back, my sister and her had a falling out and my niece called me to ask for help to have her move out of the house. We were on our way back from Montreal at the time and tired and had things to do but we veered off into Ajax, loaded everything up and welcomed her into our home. And as you all know, it was a Trini home so there were rules and there were restrictions. Don't like them, don't let the doorknob hurt you too much along the way out. We tolerated her eating whatever was in sight without asking about certain items or replacing those items. We tolerated the late in and out at all hours. We tried to be protective because the big bad city is just that; big and bad. So, walk down dark streets after work is not safe, staying out after work till 4AM without letting us know you are safe is not safe. We called her up on these things and she started rebelling.

Well, after a heated discussion involving my mother as the central topic, we had little to say to each other for a while. I just could not get it into her head that I was capable of independent thought and though she may not agree with it, it was my preogative to have those thoughts. It went downhill from there with food being delivered (you know a McD's that delivers at midnight) by strange people in the middle of the night. Food being eaten upstairs which broke our rules (as we did not even do it). And, though we have no proff, we are pretty sure a man was in her room when we explicitly said for her to do her business outside and not where our impressionable daughter was nearby.

Everything hit the fan when DW and I were fast asleep in the basement and my nephew came downstairs and woke my wife. She in turn woke me to hear what he had to say. My niece apparently better with her mother now and fed up with our Draconian ways, called him to help her move out and back home to Ajax. She never discussed anything with us, she did not even inform us that it was happening. She knew we often were in the basement and figured that she could just sneak out without us hearing. And there would be the reason she should look at why ner brother is looked upon more favourably.

He came down because he was tired of fighting with her about it not being right the way she was leaving and that she should have at least come down and said some thing because we would have not said anything to her and that was the right thing to do. Her answer? To go sit in the vehicle and refuse to come out. I thanked him and sent a clear message to her, "Tell her that this is her choice and we are shocked that she would do this to us and treat us this way after we gave her the refuge she sought. Understand that she is not to step foot in our doorway ever again and don't try contacting us because we are done. All communication is severed." And so it stayed for quite some time until my nephew appealed to me to go see his mum for Christmas a couple of Christmases back. I knew my niece would be there but it was my sister that mattered.

Fast forward to now and not much has changed. On my sister's birthday, while we were all off from work and trying to clear out the house, my niece was nowhere to be found. She knew we were there, she knew what we were doing, she had a TV still sitting on the floor to be dealt with. Still, she had better things to do that day. She has not actively looked for a place to stay. She moved in with a so-called friend that would not even give her a key. How do you call someone a friend that does not trust you to have a key to the place they said you can stay at?? And now, whatever happened there and she is being told to leave which brings us to now (well, without a lot of details but maybe another day).

Yes, this IS the Coles Notes version.

My sister calls this morning and says to me, "I need a favour and bigger than helping me move from the house." OK, no problem. She continued, "I need to ask if you would allow A. to stay with you guys for a little while as she got kicked out of the other place (insert more here that I did not truly hear)." Silence. She continued, "I know. I know what I am asking and I know you have to talk it over with DW first." Nervous laugh, uhm, yeah! She continued with what I know and her lack of sleep and she is worrying me because I need not having recently reconnected with my only sister to lose her to stress or her running off the road due to lack of sleep or anything else that can be fixed or avoided. She assures me that this should not be for a long time but we all know things happen and a house guest is there for months not days. This will be the biggest fear of my wife.

I am speaking to her via Crackberry as she has a wonderful time in Florida at a local Flea Market; not the big one she tells me, so not as wide a variety or as good a selection. Nevertheless, she gets some items for herself and something nice for TC; I'm a keychain collector so I told her just look for a nice one for me and I will be happy. She also had to look around to find places that sold those little drink packs you pour into water. I had brought a whole set back from Las Vegas but she is not keen on green tea so the child and I will drink those. Anyhow, I cannot messenger this one. I need to speak to her directly. I know she will get worried when I say that so I need to handle it right.

What do I think? I think we should leave my niece to live in her car for a few days and let her get a real taste of life and hardship. I think my sister should stop bailing her out of jams and let her feel a little pain now and then. Once I moved out of my father's home, I never went back, I never sought his help financially, I never relied on him to be there for me; actually, I started being there for him. AND, I did so on less money that she is making now when I started out. I happily had my own two-bedroom basement apartment in Markham (remember that one Famine?) with no tub, just a shower, and my own steep entrance. It was just me at the time and it was perfect. I did not want or need to jump right into owning a condo or even owning a vehicle at the time because it was beyond my means. She needs to learn these lessons.

That said, my sister has been there for me many times (except when she dropped me on the concrete on my head as a baby, when she threw out all my now very valuable comics, when she baby-powdered my face, or when she beat me out of my sleep for not doing the dishes, but I digress). She knows the enormity of asking this of us and she would not ask it if she had other options. I understand as a parent that even when you know they should take the licks and the heat, you still try to protect and save them. It is for that reason I am going to bring up a topic with my wife that is one of few things that I am afraid of doing. Wish me luck. Results will be posted later.


EDITOR'S NOTE: After speaking with DW earlier, we have decided to agree to let my niece stay for a finite period of time. There will be specific rules and restrictions in place that I will draft up with my wife and she will agree to and sign, or leave. Her choice.

Stolen from Mossy

Career Inventory Test Results

Extroversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 63%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||| 40%
Orderliness ||||||||| 23%
Altruism |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Inquisitiveness ||||||||||||||| 46%

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The important thing in life is life itself.

A few years back, my family went through soem experiences that I hope never gets repeated in that fashion ever again. My father, alone for Christmas because of circumstances I will post about another time, nearly bled out internally and died at home. This would have happened if not for the fact that LB and his wife were down and we all went to see him. Seeing that he was not well, they decided to go back and spend the night. The following morning when he was unresponsive, they called 911 for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. His blood count was so low, the number escapes me now, that a few points lower and he would have been dead. He was delusional, talking nonsense, crying, weak, helpless; not the view you want to see from the person you considered the strongest in the world when you were a child. Thankfully, though not without residual complications, he is still with us today. I thought I learned my lesson about life then but I think some of it faded with time and complacency. I got a swift kick in my complacency this week.

A high school friend's (more a sister than a friend) husband took ill recently. Strangely enough, this was not unusual in itself as he suffers from Sickle Cell and is in and out of the hospital when it acts up. This time was different and after one hospital in Scarborough admittedly had no clue on what was the issue or how to properly treat it, they had the "grace" to have him transferred to a hospital downtown that did. So for that last week, BBB has been in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at St. Mike's hospital in Toronto. They nearly lost him on Tuesday as they tried to figure out what was causing his heart issues, his kidneys and other organs to start failing, the pain and the bleeding in his lungs. Yeah, we know, real Dr. House kind of stuff; we have been waiting for his ass to show up to save the day.

BBB has stabilized and when KJ, TC and I went down to see him, he was smiling, laughing, talking, sitting up and enjoying the company of his wife and his sister-in-law. We waited our turn to go in and see him as the rooms are small, taken up with equipment and other items, so there is a two-person limit. Also, due to the highly specialized cases they deal with, you have to disinfect your hands, then don a filtering mask, a protective gown and sterile rubber gloves before entering the room. And the kicker, nothing loose that enters the room is allowed back out. No purses, no bags, no containers, no books or newspapers, not even the battery-operated radio (he is not allowed to plug anything into a socket) that his son sent for him. As much as I wanted to leave the Crackberry visible, I resisted and put it into my pocket; work would frown deeply on that.

I know you are probably wondering why take TC to such a place and to see BBB like this. Well, simply, the child seems to think she is invincible. I had to yell at her recently that she needs to wake up and understand that none of us are and she needs to learn how to protect and take care fo herself because anything at anytime can happen to anyone. This was a lesson in reality and he needed to see that good people get sick and good people can die if they do not get better. The impact was immediate. I hope it will be lasting. When TC went in to see him, KJ told me that BBB gave her a little chat about listening to what I had to say and to understand that I try to protect her at all costs. We'll see how well this sticks. One thing is for sure, she will do her best to stay out of a hospital. St. Mike's is a very old building and I thought we were walking in an abandoned wing when we arrived. It's is not an inviting place to be at any level, not that it should be.

What I came away from there with was a renewed understanding of what I thought I learned with my father. I need to find balance! Yes, we have to work hard for what we have and what we want to get but at what cost are we willing to do that? Disconnection from our spouse and child(ren)? Internal dissatisfaction and regret? Health and happiness? The pursuit of the "dream" is what is killing off all the Gen-Xers and Gen-Yers and we need to make an effort to change that. Even the most ambitious person must find a balance between drive and appreciation; material and spiritual. There has to be more than the pursuit of the almighty buck.

For our little crew, we are going to change things a bit. Right now, we live within 15 minutes of each other yet we rarely see each other or get together as often. Our kids, well not TC yet, are over-scheduled, we are over-worked, our lives are crowded when our childhoods were not. How did we become worse than our parents? We need to make a change and BBB's illness simply shed some light onto the problem. We are planning an adult getaway so that we can have some fun together sans the kids and the responsibility that comes with them being present. We will also be working on a huge family vacation. We are being realistic in saying it will be at least 3 years before we can do the adult one. And I know, promises and plans and made and broken like twigs in the wind. However...

We just need to remember where the promise was made, under what conditions they were made, to know that we need to do this for all of us. BBB thanked me for coming to see him. I told him that he did not need to thank me, I was thankful to him that he was strong enough that I was visiting him there in ICU and not somewhere else. Life is simply too short. We cannot afford to simply be alive. We need to LIVE.


It must be said.

As a black man, I hate doing business with black people! I am going to reprint a letter that I sent to our landlord after a recent incident where the appliance dude and I nearly came to blows. I won't mention his nationality (JA) as I do not want to perpetuate the stereotype that everyone from "there" are ignorant and need licks. One of my father's best friends is from there as is one of my best friends. These few bad examples are the ones that stay on people's minds because they give the whole lot a bad name. Anyhow, I have changed the names to protect myself from litigation but if you know me, I can tell you who NEVER to buy an appliance from or to have dealings with. The letter is four pages long in Word so bear with me as I cannot chop it down without screwing up the intent of the letter.

This story is from the local area. It is about people who should be prosecuted for ignorance and the people that should prosecute them. This is their story.


Please let me bring you up to date in my dealings with Jackass from JackassCo Appliances. The very first time Jackass was here, he was copping an attitude and I called him on it. We had some words and things settled down. That was when he gave me his calendar and said that if there was anything else wrong with the fridge, I was to call him. When the stove stopped working and beeping the codes, I called him and he told me then that he cannot do anything that you did not request so I had to call you. Since I knew you were away. I left it alone to see if the issue would resolve itself with the stove unplugged for a while. It continued which is when I wrote the letter to you explaining what was going on.

I was told that Jackass would be by to look after things. A week passed and still no one contacted me and Jackass never showed up so I contacted LovelyRealtor who then contacted Mr. So (sorry if I spelt that wrong but I was never given the spelling). Mr. So called me that evening and we arranged for when Jackass could come and look at the oven. Wednesday nothing happened. Thursday had the big storm that week so I did not expect to see him then. Friday rolled around and we had not received a call but Jackass arrived at the door the same way he did the first time.

I was busy doing something for a friend so my daughter let him in and he looked at the fridge first. He apparently discovered that the fridge bulb stayed on and was causing the top of the fridge to remain warm and throw the entire system out of whack. You would have to ask him why he did not discover this the first time I explained to him what was happening with it. He put a screw into the bottom door shelf to keep it from coming off and he promised to bring me a freezer basket to replace the missing one but did not keep that promise.

He then went to work on the stove/oven. He was working on it for a good while but was unable to troubleshoot the issue. He called me down to explain the issue and said that he thinks he may have to replace it as this was a complicated system and it would take quite a while to figure it out. He was going to talk to someone first on the weekend but he was not sure. He then made an arrangement with me to come back on Tuesday of this week at 10AM to either continue working on the problem or to pick it up and replace it with another unit.

On Tuesday I wasted my day sitting here waiting on Jackass to either arrive or call. I called his cell number from the calendar at 3PM to ask what happened to the appointment this morning. His stammering told me that he forgot about it or was surprised I called. He then proceeded to try to convince me that I heard him wrong and he never made that appointment. He forgets my daughter was witness to the exchange and was there to hear him say it. He then told me that he spoke to someone on the weekend and that he has to replace the unit. He then asked me if we were fussy about what kind of unit it was (i.e. does it have to be digital or ceramic, etc.) I said that we were not fussy and simply wanted a decent working unit. He agreed and arranged to deliver after 6PM on Wednesday.

Wednesday night rolls around and I plan around moving my sister from her home to ensure that someone was home from 6PM onwards for the delivery. Well, no delivery happened and, yet again, no phone call. When I called the main line today, I spoke to a woman that is the same person that came to the house with him tonight. She said that she had a family emergency yesterday and had to leave early, leaving him to fend on his own. She told me she usually does the phone calls and she apologized several times for the inconvenience. I’m a parent so I can empathize but I also work in customer service and it does not excuse leaving your customer dangling. Anyhow, I let it go as she promised that we were on the list and that he was now in Brampton delivering a washer and dryer and that for sure we would get the unit today. I told her I was home all day so just bring it on over.

It was almost eight o’clock when the multiple rings and knocks happened at the door. His impatience already set the tone for our latest encounter but I held myself in check. I had already moved the stove out from the kitchen to the top of the stairs anticipating that, like every appliance person I have dealt with before, he would want to move the old equipment out first in order to bring in the new one and to make sure his path was clear. Different to the norm again, he was annoyed that I had done so. He abruptly brought in the new unit as I held the door open and propped the door open with the stove, banging our cedar chest in the process; again I held my tongue. He then went up onto the carpet, shoes and all, and brought the old unit outside with the help of the woman with him. I could not help as he had wedged me in to the corner by the main closet with the new unit against the door.

It is when he came back in and started tossing the shoes and boots out of the way, hitting a picture sitting on the floor against the wall, that I could not take his attitude anymore. I pointed out what he had done and he had the audacity to tell me that I should have had the way cleared for him already. Really? For which day should I have had it cleared exactly? The Friday night he showed up unannounced or the Tuesday at 10AM he says he did not arrange or the Wednesday at 6PM he did arrange but did not show up or today when he arrived at nearly 8PM when I had been waiting all day long? At this point the situation escalated from mere words to shouting. I had enough of this man who pretends to be a professional business man.

I told him plainly that he had no respect for me or my time. I said that if I told him to come for 9AM, would he have waited outside with the unit until I showed up at 8PM? Of course he would not! He would have left and rightly so. So then, why is it he wants to cop an attitude with me now when he has kept me waiting for more than two days now? That’s when the woman, who had no place in the conversation, piped up about her having explained to me why he did not show up yesterday. She had no business speaking on a subject she knew nothing about because it was not the one incident but the history of dealing with him that was at issue. Things got so heated that my daughter thought she had to come down to restrain me because she had never seen me that mad. She had never seen me deal with that level of ignorance before, that’s why. I explained to her later that no matter how mad I get, I have never, and will never, strike someone first; that is not how I was raised.

He decided that he was done and dropped the stove in the kitchen and said that I could plug it in myself. When I told him that he was not finished he started up about my behaviour and how I was disrespecting him. More angry words continued as I told him to get out of my house and that he was done and I would make sure that everyone I knew would have nothing EVER to do with his business. I told him he was a poor excuse for a businessman if that is how he does business and that is how he treats his clients. He started with some Jamaican obscenities (which I can recognize and I know what they mean because I am from Trinidad) and all of this in front of my daughter.

I admittedly responded in kind as I followed him to the door. It continued with him in the street and I in my doorway as he then showed his utter level of ignorance by cussing me out, trying to belittle me because I was renting a house from you instead of owning my own house and making derogatory remarks about my weight by call me f-ing fat and more. The woman tried to interject her two cents as well but I told her she did not know our history so she cannot speak to it and that I had no issue with her until she tried to defend his ignorance. The two of them cussed me off further as they got into their truck and drove off. I won’t list everything said here because it is not important what was said (as it should not have been said in the first place) and it simply is not polite to put that kind of language down in paper.

So, after all of this, I went into the kitchen and plugged in the stove. I took pictures and attached it to this letter so you can see exactly what was delivered and how it was delivered. You will notice that the top of it is dented down (I fixed this). The oven light is not working because the bulb is missing (and the socket looks rusted). The inside top of the oven looks like grease is baked on or something. It is not easy to see in the picture but you are welcome to come and look at it for yourself. THIS is Jackass' idea of a decent working unit. Just like the issues with the fridge, he obviously did not bother to properly test and inspect all the functions on the unit before delivering it to a customer’s home. The previous oven also had a burnt out bulb that we replaced ourselves.

Even though I said we would take any decent working unit, my wife pointed out to me tonight that I cannot do that. LANDLORD, you paid your good money for the appliances. What you paid for was an electronic, ceramic-top, self-cleaning oven with a special connecting burner top, a warming drawer and multiple functions. What you have here now is a burner top, non-self-cleaning, non-warming drawer, non special function oven with a digital clock. It is no where near a comparable unit to what you originally had paid for and you should either get a refund or a unit comparable to the one that broke.

The bottom line where Jackass and his lady friend are concerned is that I never ever want to see them at our home again. There were enough things said that I consider it a risk for us to be in the same room together and I do not want him near my house or my family. I am sure he is not the type of person to do anything and that, like myself, he let his emotions get the better of him. That said, we are like oil and water and it is best to keep us far from each other for both of our sakes.

I just spoke to LovelyRealtor and she said that you will give me a call about this so I await hearing from you. I actually am sorry all of this is happening because the first time I speak to you should not be due to a problem. I want our relationship to be a good one for the time that my family spends in your house. I hope that we can soon put this in the past and move on in a better fashion.

Thank you,

Dtrini, DW, and TC

PS Further to the conversation I just had with you on the phone. I appreciate you calling me about this so quickly and I just want you to understand that we have no quarrel with you. We know that mechanical things break down and it is frustrating for everyone involved. The problem in all this has been dealing with Jackass which, once he is no longer involved with my family or this house, he will no longer be an issue.

Your offer to replace everything with new appliances is very generous. In talking with my wife (she is away in Florida right now), I came to the realization that I do not want to put you into more conflict with Jackass by returning everything. The washer and dryer works fine, as does the dishwasher. The main issues have been with the fridge and stove. So, instead of buying five brand new appliances, if you only wanted to buy two (thus saving a lot of money in the process), we would be fine with that.

As a final interesting (and somewhat humorous) note to this whole saga, I realized after all of this that Jackass and the woman seemed familiar to me. So, I looked for his calendar to see where the store was located and sure enough it was where I thought. My wife and I bought our fridge from Jackass and his wife when we were living at our old place in Scarborough when the one in the garage up and died on us. They were decent people and we thought we would do business with them again and possibly even socialize with them. I am glad that we did not and after this experience, we hope to never come across them ever again.


In a later post, I will update the end to this saga. BTW, TC is pretty damn strong to be able to even mildly hold me back; I was impressed. Will make cutting her ass a whole lot more work now.

Goodbye POS, Hello Max!

As some of you who have read my wife's blog know, we are on a quest to have a child. Unfortunately the quest has a rather high price tag associated with it so we have to do what we must to generate the necessary funds. One of those decisions was to sell our perfectly good Toyota, low mileage and no issues, and take a chance on slightly older, more used vehicle I obtained from a friend and colleague. I have made fun of the Corolla in previous posts but only because it was not very fun to drive due to it being small for a big guy like me, gutless for anyone who likes the accelerator pedal, and pretty much featureless except for the A/C and power locks. We added a decent radio, a car starter and a horn that did not sound like it was begging permission, but it still was a very utility-only vehicle to shuttle the wife from A to B.

I wanted a different vehicle for DW anyhow because with her slightly longer trek from our new residence in Ajax to her work and the way these freaks in Durham drive. I really wanted a little more rigid car body around her if we could swing it. If we could pull some coin from the transaction in the process, that would be a bonus. Truth be told, the car was apparently in two accidents with the previous owner (an older gentleman friend of the MIL's) and then, as you know, DW clipped a deer. So, we had the history, a broken front signal light, a bruised right fender (deer again), various scratches on the paint, a cigarette hole in the fabric (previous owner, as we do not smoke), some more than used fabric and carpeting (previous owner also had a dog), some evidence of corrosion in the trunk and a hole by the driver's handle from someone's previous attempt to steal the vehicle. Oh, yeah, one of the all-season tires has a not so slow leak.

Now, while most of that is easy to overlook when selling to complete strangers, we just were not comfortable selling it to friends (family would have been okay because they would get full disclosure and then told to bugger off). Transactions like these between friends are always tricky, dangerous things to do because it could be the gift that keeps on giving or the straw that broke the camel's back; it all depends how the object behaves once it leaves your hands. With that in mind, we enlisted the intervention of Erinwood Ford in Mississauga whose ad DW heard on the raido one day. They will take trades but if you wanted out of a lease or loan or just needed the money, they would purchase your vehicle outright. Sure, they are there to make money so you are going to get no more than what they would buy it for at auction, but cash is cash and no associated headaches with the sale comes your way. It's win-win.

Well, almost win-win; we lost a little in a way. Due to the fact that we were simply going down to get appraisals of what the Roo and the POS were worth, we never emptied the vehicle or took our installed items out. When the deal was done, we took most out but we did not have the original radio with us nor the right tools to do the job so I was to go back and do this. The dealership was told this, at least the guy we initially saw and he had no problem. Well I was busy at the top of the week and the major storm came so I could not return untilt he Saturday to pick up my cheque and to remove the wiring and flip-face Kenwood radio.

No car. Excuse me? Apparently the other guy already sold it to a couple of his customers who bought it because they loved the radio. I see. I was going to make a fuss because I really wanted that lovely horn I installed from Crappy Tire but they were working on a deal with the truck and I did not want to screw that up so I let it go. I handed the guy the original radio and told him to give it to the customers as they may want to replace it one day. I even gave him the code should they remove power from the head unit. It is so old that I am sure they would not find anyone in Toronto to be able to get the factory code reset. I've had a week to think about it and I think I need to address it because it goes to a matter of trust. I trusted that they were okay with me coming in to get my gear as they said so and I would have expected a call saying they needed me to come now as they had a buyer. Funny thing is, I have the full set of summer tires on rims because it is currently on the winter rims and tires we bought for it. Also, the radio will lock up with the code if power if ever removed form it and it will become unlockable if they enter the code incorrectly more than three times. Not to mention the CD changer that I have and they have the cable and head unit to it. Oh yeah, and the live 12V wire wriggling around in the trunk that will short the whole thing out. I'm still debating that. If nothing else, I have a set of tires on rims for a 1999 Toyota Corolla and a Kenwood 6-disc CD changer for sale.

As for the replacement, you will not hear me mutter "POS" where it is concerned. Sure, it has way more mileage (294K to the POS' 89K) and it had way more rust issues (hole in the driver's door, three holes in the rear passenger door, some fender stuff to the POS' none visible) and it had a seized brake caliper and evidence of some blowback at one time. It also had a rusted out license plate light holder and a sunroof that does not quite seal right due to a damaged mechanism. Sounds like a real winner, right? Well, it actually is.

I lucked out because my friend was getting rid of the vehicle since she was getting her fiancee's ride as he was getting a company vehicle with his recent promotion. Her mechanic was going to take it if I did not want it. Seeing as he had already indicated that the vehicle needed a thousand dollar brake job amongst other repairs, I knew there was a gem in hiding because mechanics do like to throw away money on vehicles; I should know as my father is a mechanic. I had already ridden in the vehicle so I knew how it basically drove and I knew the body needed some work. With an Asian import though, it is best to get working mechanicals and fix the body; cheaper of the two possibilities.

I contacted our family friend and mechanic, Eddoes, as he is a former Nissan employee and he loves the company and cars. He freed up the seized caliper, change the oil, checked the other vital components and performed the safety check. He said he could fashion a piece of metal to replace the rusted out one no longer holding the plate lights up. He also stated that contrary to our family's normal modus operandi when putting a vehicle on the road (change plugs, filters, water pump, timing belt, main belts, oil change, etc.) it was best to leave it at what he did so far and run it till something breaks. As he explained it, to look at why there is blow back is a lot of work which would result in almost the same work needed to replace the pump and, on this vehicle, the timing chain. So, I could take it that it is running good now and leave well enough alone or open her up and spend several more hundred for the sake of doing so. Yeah, you know which route I took. So, on the mechanical side of things and getting it ready for the road, $225.

Some youths in the shop do some basic body work so Eddoes asked them for me what it would cost to fix the four holes in the door and repainting it. To grind both doors down, patch the holes and paint it back to the original manufacturer's colour, $150. Now, understand that this was not going to be showroom quality work; I did not care about that. What I did care about was a certain police force looking at this car and its occasional driver, running the plates to see that it is newly transferred and then asking the question, "How does a vehicle with that much rust and that many holes pass safety to get on the road?" I have seen many of the guys projects in mid-sequence but none of their finished work. I have to say, I wished they had done the whole car because unless you knew where the repair was, or went really looking for it, you would be hard pressed to point out that work was done. Below I have posted before pictures. I will take some after pictures and add them in later.

Some specs to Max include: power sunroof (operational but needs attention), leather interior, heated seats, power windows, power locks, power steering, power trunk, power brakes, automatic climate control with A/C, BOSE dual DIN six-speaker stereo with CD and Cassette, 3.0L V6 engine, GLE package, intermittent wipers, cruise control, tilt steering, power adjustable driver's seat, pass-through trunk, and alloy rims. The stereo still needs a bass boost to bring it up to snuff (and the damn CD is too sensitive to bumps) but it is far louder than DW will listen to for extended periods of time; TC and I will be roughing it up every chance we get. There is a remote fob for the doors, trunk, panic and an interesting feature for the car of its time; you can roll down both front windows remotely. You cannot roll them up which is kind of stupid but, whatever. Also on the car appears to be a Viper car starter but it is currently disabled. I'll be taking it in to Tint King and seeing my man Steve to get that corrected along with the requesting rear shading. At some point I will comb the scrap yards for a rear deck lid that has the sport wing on it. This is not just to make the car nicer looking (which it will do) but also for the necessary downforce. I took it up past the Roo's speed-limited 160Km/h and it was ready to do more. I'd like a little help keeping it on the road before I find out just how much more this will do.

So, if you saw something whiz by you in the GTA, or actually heard a "thump thump" of a large bass speaker pass you, know that it was probably Max and I enroute to some destination or just out for his weekend run. After putt-putting back and forth with DW all week, he's going to need some weekend exercise. :)