Tuesday, May 30, 2006

CANOE -- JAM! - 'Breakfast Club' principal dies

Eventually everyone that you grew up with on TV and the movies will probably die before you. That knowledge does not diminish the loss in any way however. Paul Gleason, an unfamiliar name for sure, cemented himself in the consciousness of any person who gre up in the eighties like myself. In Trading Places, arguably one of Eddie Murphy's funniest movies ever, he was the guy that made life bad for all the main charcters. You loved to hate him but he had some funny lines as well, even while being the tough guy ("no more of your Sweedish meatballs, sister" or something to that effect when confronting Jamie Lee Curtis on the train). While good in this movie, he was the best in The Breakfast Club, the cult and consumer favourite amongst radical and rebellious teens. "I'm Cracking Skulls!", as Judge Nelson mimics him in the background.

Rest in Peace Paul, you will not be forgotten.

CANOE -- JAM! - 'Breakfast Club' principal dies

Today's Funnies

Submitted by BT from MTL
------------------------

Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After That Damned Gay Cowboy Movie.

1. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"

2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"

3. "Don't fret---I've been in tight spots before."

4. "You stay here while I sneak around from behind."

5. Two words: "Saddle Sore."

6. "Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like."

7. "Let's mount up!"

8. "Nice spread ya got there!"

9. "Ride'em cowboy!"

10. "I reckon this might hurt a little."
______________________________________________

Submitted by 'lil Ed
--------------------

Subject: Life Cycle


I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first. Just start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home and you are feeling better every
day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then,
when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get
ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months
floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
service on tap, larger quarter's everyday,
and finally . . . . you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case!
______________________________________________

Submitted by DoubleD
--------------------
(NOTE:It's all true.)

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Today's Haiku

Bad Boys Bad Boys are,
Close, no matter near or far.
Beware the Bad Boys!

A movie review

The Da Vinci Code
-----------------

No, I did not read the book before seeing the movie. I honestly think it would have ruined it for me. When I read a book, and then see the movie adaptation, I inevitably compare it to the book and look for where they fudged the details or left hings out entirely. For exmample, none of the Harry Potter movies are as detailed as the book and the last one left out a huge amount of items. Spiderman does NOT shoot organic webs that emnate from his wrists; he concocts different solutions based on the application and the criminal. The Hulk is simply not that stupid looking or that stupid.

Anyhow, I enjoyed the movie even though there were some plodding sections. Of course, most of these came after the two super-sized iced teas were downed. For almost an hour I did not dare get up lest I miss an important portion of the story. So, the in seat pee-pee dance commenced. Lots of clutching and grabbing of DW's arm and pelvic twirling in the seats to help curb the feeling that I was either going to burst a coupel of kidneys, or splash the people to my left and in front with a burst of recycled cold drink (no longer cold).

Tom Hanks will not win any Oscars for his performance (at least, he should not even be nominated) but he was appropriately subdued in this. Ian McKellan does do a brilliant turn I find (I enjoy all his movie roles) so may receive a nod for best supporting actor. The female lead is more dragged than leads so should remain anonymous. The actor that plays the French detective on everyone's trail is pretty decent as well. Oh, and let's not forget the Albino. Oh my. Apparently there was a big stir of some Albino Society of America or something (who knew such an organization existed) who took exception to the evil potrayal of albinos in the film. RIGHT. OK. We'll get to you right after the Blacks, Asians, Latinos, Italians, Women, Handicapped, Right-wing, left-wing and every other hard done by character in movies. Get a life people.

Anyhow, I give this movie a passing grade as a decent time-waster on a matinee fare. 3/5.

Bad Boys for Life!

There are things that are simply known and understood between people that do not have to be said. My DW knows an awful lot about me and can basically give up a prediction on how I will react to most things; we are still learning about each other which is mostly fun at our advanced ages and in our young marriage. My daughter, TC, knows that I will hunt down, tar and feather any boy in a fifty foot radius. My father knows that I hate speaking on the phone so he needs to call, get to the point, and then go away so we can watch Amazing Race in peace. The LB knows that I have little patience for foolishness and ignorance, especially from within our family; he knows what to bring to me and what not to.

My LB and I have been through a lot in our young lives; both together and far apart. We both have had to deal with some health issues but definitely him more than me. We both had had some traumatic incidents happen that initially numbed and paralyzed us in different ways but that we have both now embraced in a way that has released us from those restrictions. We both love and hate family on such a profound level that we would do anything to be closer to them, yet would move far enough away that a yearly visit would be almost impossible. We approach things in such vastly different ways, but in the end, our end result is exactly what the other would want.

Though we never speak of it in our family, there is a very obvious division within the sibling ranks. Our older brother and sister, nine and eight years removed from me respectively (another five on top of that for the LB) are of a same mother but different father than us two. As much as one promotes a single family unit, their experiences are different to ours and they have an entirely different bond than LB and I have (though I am glad my older brother never dropped snot rocks into my cup of tea so that he could have it). We recently realized that in the big picture, I have always looked out for him and he has always looked out for me. That is how it has always been (even when I wanted to beat his ass) and it is how it will always be.

We have some hefty challenges ahead of us in life and all we gots is our wits, our DWs, our children and each other. There are many people out there with more. There are billions with a lot less. I thank my blessings today.

We live together. We die together. Bad Boys 4 Life!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Today's Funny

Submitted by BT from MTL
------------------------

He's 80, she's 20. It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl.

After a year of marriage she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying: "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"

He answered, "You got to keep the old motor running."

The following year the young bride gave birth again. The same nurse said:

"You're amazing. How do you do it?"

He again said: "You've got to keep the old motor running."

The same thing happened the next year. The nurse then said: "Well, well, well!!! You certainly are quite a man!"

He responded again, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The nurse said: "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Sometimes you have to remember to go look.

I have these links on the right for a reason; either friend's have their own blogs or I found something interesting. time is always in short supply so sometimes I simply forget to go check my own links. Today I did so and reconnected with Kristin's blog (will fix the link to reflect the new name when I get time) and also to Tremble.

To understand why I like Tremble, you only have to go watch the video on this page: http://www.tremble.com/scribblins/000686.html.

Ciao.

Now these are my kind of blogthings! :)

You Are A Blueberry Martini

You are a eclectic drink - liking to change drinks and venues often.
You are usually the first of your friends to find a cool new dive bar or cocktail.

You should never: Drink mystery drinks strangers hand you. Unless you want to wind up in foreign country.

Your ideal party: Is mobile, hopping from party to party.

Your drinking soulmates: Those with an Orange Martini personality.

Your drinking rivals: Those with a Chocolate Martini personality.

______________________________________________

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

______________________________________________

Your Stripper Song Is

Like a Virgin by Madonna

"Like a virgin, ooh, ooh
Like a virgin
Feels so good inside
When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me"

No virgin-ness implied. Not at all.

Stolen from MsMittens

Your Birthdate: May 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.
You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.
People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.
You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself.

Your strength: Your original approach to thinking

Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others

Your power color: Pale blue

Your power symbol: Wavy line

Your power month: July

______________________________________________

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

______________________________________________

You Are 24% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

Today's Funny

Submitted by MR
---------------

Job Description

For Being A

PARENT

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 6 0 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the parents you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for thejob.


------------------

Ciao.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Funny Videos - Ass on Fire - Jokaroo.com

Funny Videos - Ass on Fire - Jokaroo.com

Caledonia issue

*Editor's Note: This is a letter I sent to our local news station, CityTV, concerning the recent foolishness that is happening between some local resident and a First Nations group, Six Nations.*

Hi, I listened to the City Online discussion today and I have to say that a lot of people are not dealing in reality. While I sympathize and empathize with the First Nations group, they have no right to disrupt innocent people's lives for their cause in the manner that they did. They have problems with the Provincial government and should be doing things to disrupt them, not the local people they allegedly have no problems with. Further, many people have made the case that if it is the First Nations' land, then they are entitled to it and should be given it. This has got to be the most asinine thing I had heard in all of this. A caller shortly after that made my point abundantly clear when she stated that her people owned all the land from "Argentina to Alaska". Effectively, they own all of the Americas if one wants to go by the basis of what they used own. If the world went back to what was owned by someone else before, then most of the population of the world would be in Africa and parts of Eurasia. There is a reason that the words "conquered" and "invasion" exists. That is the way the world worked, and still works in some cases. Conquered people may gain their independence, but you do not hear them simply being given anything.

If we as a democratic and peaceful people want to work with the First Nations people to resolve the land claims and try to come to amicable solution, then it is a very good thing to happen. And yes, I totally disagree with reservations (a model used to create concentration camps) and shoving these people into barren lands (can you say Nunavut?) that few people want to be located in. Now, I don't want to disparage the area these people live in but it is not on either coast or the lucrative St. Lawrence seaway; it is not a major city center or destination for local or foreign investment. The thing is, where is the line drawn? When do we stop giving back?

All these people that are crying out "give them back their lands" are the stupidest people of all. Do they realize that in doing so, the cozy little place they think is theirs now becomes the property of someone else? Do they really mean that they would like to give back the land under their house too or just the land of those that live far removed from them? A clearer head in this is needed and it is about time we had a government that made a final stand on all these claims and gets it all settled within their mandate. It is time we moved on to other issues that plague this fair country.

Oh, and one more comment. Nunavut is governed like any province or territory in Canada. Do these other land claims intend to govern themselves and provide for themselves in these reacquired lands? Or do they intend to take the land and sit back while tax payers shoulder the expense for their utilities, health, security and everything else? We say we do not want a two-tiered health system in Canada. I would suggest that we do not want a tow-tiered society as well. If we are to be all equal, then it has to be applied all across the board equally. No more "native status" and special treatment; work like the rest of us and pay taxes like the rest of us and suffer the government like the rest of us. Unless they are all willing to do that, I really am tired of hearing this all over again.

All these latest actions are doing is making in nearly impossible for any First Nation person to be treated without malice in the areas they live. This means that no one will hire them or deal with them. This means, like anyone else in dire straits, that they will have to seek assistance. This means that the tax payer is again going to be on the hook for something they had no hand in creating. And how fair is that?

The Premier and the Prime Minister need to find a new set and get on board to personally ensure this issue is fixed once and for all. If they cannot do that, they will never again get my vote as we do not need more leaders who cannot act. GW may say the stupidest things and he may make decisions that are not popular in a lot of places of the world, but he at least makes those decisions and he says something. Where are Harper and McGuinty?

-----------------------------------------------
Note: There are a lot of complexities in this. I will try to show the foolishness that is happening on both sides of this. As a final comment on this post, do I believe that the Natives have a legal claim? Probably, if they have the proof. Do I agree with their tactics? Hell no, the same way I do not believe strike pickets should be allowed to impeded a person's path. Do I think it is going to get much worse? Most definitely because the kind of lines being drawn are racial and they are the hardest to hide and the longest to get erased. This is a huge step back in a civilized society and innocent people are being caught in the middle.

Windows Vista Upgrade Advisor is fun » Digital Inspiration: Productivity Tips, Technology, Software, Screencasting, Downloads, Reviews

Concerned about yet another upgrade with the Evil Empire? They have released a tool to help you determine just how sucky your current system is and what Vista will force you to upgrade or buy in order to run it.


Windows Vista Upgrade Advisor is fun » Digital Inspiration: Productivity Tips, Technology, Software, Screencasting, Downloads, Reviews

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Have I mentioned lately how much I HATE the Evil Empire?

Very recently, I had my address book on hotmail hijacked and a nasty virus link emailed out to everyone on that address book. Some folks that know me well avoided the link like the plague because the wording of the email sounded nothing like me. Some folks that know me well, and should have known better, decided to click on the link despite their "spidey sense" warning them not to and they got infected. And then there are some ignorant ones (that would be in the lack of knowledge sense, not the stupid sense) that blindly accepted the fact that my name was on the email as the sender so they trusted the link and clicked on it. God love the last group because it touches me that they trust me that much. However, when it is all said and done, one of my favourite shows of all time said it best: TRUST NO ONE!!

You can pretty much tell by text if someone is trying to sell you the latest penile miracle growth liquid or if they are peddling thousands of dollars of software on a CD they only want $30 for. You tend to avoid these people like the plague. But we all would like to think an email from a trusted friend or family member is legit, and that executable file or picture attached must be the latest funny or the latest picture of the nephew doing something. And yes, in trying to verify everything sent to you, you will have to generate an email to inquire of the sender the validity of what you received; and another email will be generated in the response to your query. That simply is the price we pay for the path we computer-using people have chose to take; suckling on the Micro$oft teat.

I contacted the hotmail group and informed them of the problem. I was incensed at the reply because it basically reads to me like they are asking ME to do something about the issue because I probably contracted a virus on MY computer that is doing this. Ahem. Let me remind folks that Hotmail has been tampered with on many occasions. Let me remind folks that I only have a hotmail account because I was forced to use one at the time I wanted to use MSN. Let me remind folks that I RARELY use hotmail to converse with anyone, so much so I have had to create my account three or fours times over the years from inactivity and Micro$oft automatically deactivating the account.

So, when I received the following and, admittedly, skimmed through it, I had had enough. When I calm down, I will write (and then post here) my carefully worded reply to this nonsense. To set the tone for what is to come, Micro$oft can lick my left nut!!!

IBS (incredible bullshit) to follow:

From : MSN Hotmail Support
Sent : May 9, 2006 7:03:07 PM
To : (dtrini's hotmail account)
Subject : RE: SRX1013728269ID - MSN Hotmail:I need something fixed:My Account:My account has been taken

| | | Inbox


Hello (Dtrini),

Thank you for writing to MSN Hotmail Technical Support.

I apologize for the delay in answering your e-mail. We appreciate your patience as we handle every customer request as quickly as possible.

My name is Earl. You mentioned that someone has access your account and send e-mail message to all of your contacts.

I apologize for the inconvenience this matter may have caused you. I understand the importance of this to you and I am glad to be of assistance.

Thank you for taking the time to report this to us. After a thorough investigation, we have verified that you have received a large amount of delivery notifications due to a worm virus currently propagating itself through email and instant messaging.

The worm sends various messages that entice users to click on a malicious link. Clicking on the said link downloads a copy of itself onto message recipients' computers. Upon download, it then gathers email addresses saved on the recipient's computer and sends itself out to all of those addresses. It also creates email addresses using common names appended with a domain name.

The virus, most likely, has acquired your email address from one of your contacts. The virus then forges the "To" field of the email making it appear that it came from you. When a recipient's email server rejects the email, the delivery notification is then sent to your email address. This explains why you have received several non-delivery reports for messages you have not sent.

There are a number of ways you can protect your computer against these viruses:

- Obtain the most recent virus definitions. You can visit your anti-virus company's website or call them to get more information.
- Be cautious about opening messages that contain links to websites.
- Do not open attachments unless you are expecting them.
- Download the latest Microsoft updates frequently. To download the latest updates for Microsoft software, please visit the following links:

http://update.microsoft.com/windowsupdate/
http://office.microsoft.com/productupdates

If you feel that a virus has already infected your computer, you can get online support (or toll-free telephone support in the U.S. and Canada) for security-related issues such as viruses and security updates from the Microsoft Security Help and Support Team. Please click on the link below:

http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx/gp/securityhome

For more information on how you can protect your computer, please click on the link below:

http://www.microsoft.com/security/default.mspx

In addition, to ensure the security of your Hotmail account, we highly recommend that you change your Hotmail password and Secret Question. To do this, please follow the steps below:

To change your Hotmail password:

1. Sign in to your account at: www.hotmail.com.
2. Click "Options" located at the upper-right side of your screen.
3. Click "Personal" located at the left side of your screen.
4. Click the "Password" link. Follow the instructions.

To change your Secret Question:

1. Sign in to your account at: www.hotmail.com.
2. Click "Options" located at the upper-right side of your screen.
3. Click "Personal" located at the left side of your screen.
4. Click the "Secret Question" link. Follow the instructions.

We want to assure you that your security and protection online is our top priority and we are dedicated to help you obtain support for security-related issues such as viruses and security updates.

Thank you for your continued support of MSN Hotmail.

Sincerely,
Earl E.
MSN Hotmail Technical Support

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I think the entire program should be revamped with the new symbol clearly displayed on all materials.

So, another day older

Do I feel different? Not really. I look forward to birthdays actually. Not for the presents, not even so much for the attention (as I don't tend to tell a lot of people anymore). I simply like the knowledge that I breathed for the first time on that day. Powerful stuff.

Sitting watching House with DW last night and Dr. House makes a comment to his boss about her current preference for choice of donor #613 to the effect "oh sure, go with the Jewish number". Now, as I said on DW's blog, I was pretty up on the whole Jewish side of things when I met her, but this was unknown to me. So I turned to my resident expert (who is not much better than me, but that is another post) for guidance. DW thought a moment and then remembered "the 613 Jewish laws". I'm like, "You're kidding. Uhm, your society is a wee bit restrictive, don't you think? WE only have ten commandments." *Chuckle*

On American Idol, the last three remaining had mostly strong showings again last night. My pick for the overall winner of the Idol title is Taylor. My pond-side friend, MTL_Froggie, thinks it will be Katherine. Personally, she should have gone home last week over Chris but America voted and I think a lot of them voted with the little, lower head. Katherine is quite fetching, has a nice set, and (accidentally) flashed her nanny on nation-wide TV; let's face it, she has the guys vote of any age. She wore this short, black dress that sat several inches above the knee at rest, several inches higher when she waved, so I think the hot-blooded guys are going to hope for more skin and vote her into the finals. However, as Simon Cowell is always reminding everyone, this is a singing competition and the person who can sing AND perform the best is Taylor. He should win and barring a total meltdown in sanity, he will win.

I am the first person to find something else to do but what I am supposed to. That said, when it comes to the important things, I am very much there. Thus is my frustration in my job when high priority items go through and the farking boneheads I have to deal with do NOT do there job having me do mine and there's as well (but getting paid only for mine). No amount of complaining seemed to help in the past so I am going to make it more focussed and louder and more frequent. I think they will do something if for nothing else then to shut me the hell up.

Did I mention lately that I hate people?

Anyhow, I am trying to clear up some work, trying to get some stuff done on a friend's laptop for him, and trying to get a couple of things together on our MCE box. Then, I will be able to go and crawl in beside DW for a nice night's rest. What a nice start to the day. :)

Ciao.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Happy Birthday...

... to me!!!

Yes, my old ass has gotten that much older. I am a semi-healthy 38 today as of just after 5AM. My father called this morning but not at 5AM which he normally does each year; he apologized for this but seeing as I only went to sleep two hours prior, I was grateful.

The day is not different; I am on call, I am going into work for a stupid ass meeting, I am slapping vendors. Sameo sameo.

I received a very nice greeting from my Capitol SIL (nothing from any of my siblings though), greetings from the Pond (who will call later to have the kids sing to me) and TC even remembered to wish me well. A few folks at work have sent greetings (probably because Plaxo reminded them, like it does me for everyone) but not anyone from the poker crew. My good friend KJ did call on Saturday, as she seems to forget every year the exact date. I will call her back today to let her know she did it again. I am such a shit.

And that will never change as long as I own my faculties. It is my one fear of growing old; not death, but of losing coherence with the world and not being able to do for myself. That would be my vision of hell. As we discussed on the weekend, almost makes Logan's Run desirable in a way.

Anyhow, I am going to treat myself to a nice Trini lunch while I can still handle the carbs and get into work for this meeting at 2:30PM.

See ya in the funnies. :)

Peace.

I forgot to tell you about this idiot I nearly hit and about the gas station incident.

So, I was heading east along O'Connor and where it crosses Donlands, it does this 'S' in the road. Traffic flowing west gets an advanced green (allowing left turns south first) and traffic flowing north gets a green arrow for going right. It really is a simple intersection to traverse if you obey the traffic rules. unfortunately for the citizens of my fair city, we have a lot of asshole drivers that believe their time is more valuable than anybody else's so they run the red lights, make the turns on red with traffic oncoming, and generally do stupid shit that can end up f**king up traffic.

So on this particular day, I am waiting patiently at the lights in TR. The other side proceeds throuugh on the advance green and when our side goes green, the car beside me on the left and I proceed into the intersection. That is when the Gino and his friend (or friends, could not see due to tint) come flying through in a Porsche Cayenne. Nice vehicle, asshole driver. His stupid ass friend is grinning or giggling in the front passenger seat (otherwise known as shotgun, do you wonder why?) as I lay on the horn and yell obscenities at them. Now, and this is the part DW hates, on another day when I had nothing to do, or better still, the driver was alone, I would risk turning the Roo around and following his ass. Not this day though.

I live in Toronto where idiots can get a gun and they use a gun now where good old fisticuffs used to suffice. Now, one has to be more crafty and careful. Yell from the safety of one's vehicle where you can make a quick escape or be prepared to throw down with any cowardly idiot and a piece. I don't mind some verbal sparring when there are lots of witnesses though.

Witness the night DW and I went to go get some cheap gas (cheap being relative these days). I got in first and while I am filling up, I hear this guy beeping a coupel of times and identify it as the guy behind my wife. DW wa waiting for the vehicle to move in front of her as that lady was done but the store attendants were directing traffic flow around the pumps. I chalked it up to a possible slip but told DW when she got out that if he beeps again, I would have a few "words" with him.

Well, DW fills up and gets her slip from the pump and gets in her car to drive off, I am finishing as well (TR fills up slower that the Corolla) when I hear the same horn beeping. I move TR forward, stop and ask the attendant if it was that idiot beepign again. The attendant says he thinks so. I say that his horn better be broke or there will be a problem. So, buddy rolls up and gets out of the car and I yell over to him from my island, one away.

"Hey, is there a problem with your horn?"

"Excuse me?"

"IS there a problem with your horn? Is it broken or something?"

"No."

"Then what is YOUR problem? What is the reason you were beeping your horn at the woman in front of you for?"

Silence. I am asking him a few more similar things as he gazes at the large, crazy black man yelling at him. I have caught a few more people's attention, but since they were witness to his idiocy (or they know better than to interfere) they stay quiet.

"That woman is my wife and it is very ignorant for you to be beeping your horn at someone for no reason. You think your bloody time is any more important than anyone else's?"

"That woman was YOUR wife?", incredulous that the short, white woman was married to me.

"YES, SHE IS MY WIFE! You have a problem with that?"

"No."

"Well, here is a piece of advice, don't be bloody ignorant with the horn in the future as in this city, you may not meet someone who will "talk" to you as I am today. You will meet another ignorant person and things would go quite differently."

"Ok, buddy."

"Don't friggin okay buddy me! Don't do it again. And especially not around here or next time it will be very different."

He stared at me blankly as I spoke to the attendants, who admitted he heard him beeping at DW to move more quickly. The attendant wished me a good evening, I got into TR and drove home to tell DW, who had left the station and was oblivous to what happened. She was not very amused and actually missed the second set of beeping.

You know what? The vehicles that were waiting behind me in line for my pump did not beep at me once to move. I wonder why?

Peace.

"

Sunday, May 14, 2006

HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY, SpecialK!!

OOOps. I forgot yesterday to take this post out of draft mode and to post it. As such, I missed the SIL's birthday yesterday. DW and I had planned to call up as well, but between sleep (long story) and running around (more on that later as well), it was too late by the time we remembered again. My nephew still gets up really early and he was not feeling well recently so that made for erractic sleeping for the parents. So, we did not want to disturb what was probably the start of their sleep period. We'll call today and kill two birds with one stone (wherever did they come up with that saying?) with a birthday/mother's day call.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Mission accomplished, though with some lip involved.)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Definitely a day to show recognition to all you hard-wroking mother's out there. I think the day has changed quite a bit from when LB and I used to make our own cards, try to make mom breakfast and try to give her a day of rest without ticking her off.

Nowadays, it is either really commerical (Hallmark still makes a mint, as does all phone carriers and phone card makers) or just another ordinary day in the neighbourhood. And I have to say that saddens me a little. I realize that for those who chose to not have kids, this is simply not a big deal for you, and I am not knocking your choice in any way. For those of us with kids, it is a day that is focussed on one parent where the child(ren) can do something specifically to show how much that person is appreciated. Yes, I prescribe to the idea that this should be shown all year round but I am not adverse to the special treatment on a single day of appreciation to the parent.

So, enjoy the day. Try to connect with the kids, and even your own mother. It's another baby step for me today so I will try to heed my own advice.

Peace.

With great power comes great responsibility.

For those fellow webheads out there, you immediately recognized these words that from a man named Ben Parker to his nephew, Peter, that would change the boys life forever. Peter Parker, of course, is the Amazing Spider Man. No, this post is not about comic books or movies, but rather how those words enter each of our lives.

I am here, on Mother's Day, typing away on the computer entering this blog post, playing music (Rihanna's SOS-Rescue Me, at the moment) and completing the build on our MCE PVR box. As it naturally happens, I have been culling the memories from the few days past and deciding what to blog and what to leave out. And therein lies the fruit of this post.

I have the power to lay bare our lives to you the reader; every nuance, every joy and every failure and disappointment. I can share whatever I want to with you and I can keep private what ever I think needs to remain in-house. There is indeed a great power in that. And power can be abused or it can be used for good. Hoenestly, I have probably done both within these confines already. DW, loving person that she is, has never balked at me writing about various things in here. Sharing when she has driven me mad or done some incredulous thing that boggled my mind. Though she has had the same power from the beginning, she will tell you that I have a knack for words that she sometimes lacks so that is why she has not blogged on here before and just recently started her own (see sidebar).

The responsibility that I thought about this morning refers to knowing where to draw the line. If this were only to be read by our closest friends that we would share it with verbally anyhow, then it would be okay as a medium to reach them faster. This site however reaches those we may only share lunch with, co-workers we would rather quit the profession, bosses who may not understand our frustration, parents who just don't get it, friends who may not appreciate our candor, strangers who may misconstrue the intentions, and definitely our spouses who may look and decide "OK, you've crossed the line."

I think we all have a certain inner voice that guides us to where that line is, may even allow us to venture a toe or a whole foot across, but is ever mindful not to traipse dangerously far over it. I tend to speak from the heart, speak passionately, and to many people's chagrin, speak brutally honest about it. LB, DW, Famine, MsM, and even MS and PS will probably be able to tell you that this is true and they wish sometimes I had one of those little censor buttons they could push; unfortunately for everyone, no such device yet exists. I can tell you that rarely is my intention to deliberately hurt or harm. I will always be an educator so I seek to enlighten, educate, inform and alert.

So, you may ask yourself, "Where does this all come from?" Did something happen or someone say something to me that made me post this today? The answer would be no. I simply think a lot, sometimes too much, and this morning I was thinking about this. With great power comes great responsibility, and I am just trying to live up to my end of that. See you at the next post (pun fully intended).

Ciao.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: You may be interested to know that there have been topics in the past that I ran by DW before I posted (I actually ask her opinion on a lot of them, sort of my editor-in-chief). When she nixed them, I adhered to my wife's request and did not post the material. DW holds great power too. :-) )

Friday, May 12, 2006

A Question of Faith

Submitted by the LB, as passed on by a co-worker
------------------------------------------------

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees"!

"What powerful rivers"!

"What beautiful animals"! He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick him self up, but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!!!!"

Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

"You deny My existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed.

And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord, Bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen...... Umm-Umm-Umm...... Burp!"

WORLD CUP RULES FOR GIRLFRIENDS/WIVES

Submitted by my nephew (who should run the other way when he sees his aunt next)

WORLD CUP RULES FOR GIRLFRIENDS/WIVES


LIST OF RULES
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention. Get to know our teams, cause if you speak favorably of an opposing side, YOU WILL BE SHOT!!

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am , unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League/FA Cup, UEFA Champions League, UEFA Cup, Euro Championship, Supercup, Confederations Cup, etc… etc… (then there's basketball & cricket, plus superbowl).

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
Men of the World

(EDITOR's NOTE: I would add in hockey, CFL and lacrosse to the list)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

How are you today?

I feel like crap; so does DW. I have had this persistent rattle/raspiness in my chest that allows gives a wheezing/whistling sound while lying on my side in bed. It makes going to sleep a chore because I always feel like I am keeping DW awake for no reason and it annoys the hell out of me so I am tossing and turning trying to minimize it.

Yes, I have been to the doctor's recently, but I never remember to tell him about this. I had a checkup and bloodwork done and for the first time ever, I got a call that he NEEDED to see me. Uhm, okay, shit!! So, DW and I went in yesterday morning first thing which meant a 7AM appointment, arriving at 7:05AM behind three other people and having the doctor arrive 20 minutes after that; typical Trini's doctor office (you should have seen my last doctor whom you were never sure was even in the country). I really was not surprised at anything said as I was expecting it. I just wanted DW to hear it directly so that she could help me change the course that we inevitably heard I was on.

Saturday, I will be performing another little test which will determine exactly how far down that path I have travelled and how drastic the changes need to be in hopes of reversing it. I think I am near the point where I need to be to change. Shame it has to be this way but I just wanted to prolong the free life for as long as I could. I know my family history in depth and I knew the day would eventually come that required changed. Almost made 40 before that happened. Now though, I know if I want to see the kids grow up, I have to get just as committed to change as I was to not changing. Updates to come.

Peace.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Monday Morning Funnies

Submitted by DoubleD
--------------------

Blonde Joke

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here And help me.I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."


Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She Lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then " he sighed, Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

_______________________________________________

Perks of Being Over 40

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.

_______________________________________________

Submitted by BT from MTL
------------------------

Subject: Morning Sex

Morning Sex?

John woke up one morning immensely aroused; so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to take this note to his "beautiful Mommy." The note read:

The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.

Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to take this to Daddy. Her note read:

Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.

John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to take it back to "the lady in the kitchen." His note read:

The Tent Pole's Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.

Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to take this to "the poor dude upstairs." Her note read:

I'm Sure That Your Pole's
The Best In The Land.
But I'm Busy Right Now,
Do It By Hand!

_______________________________________________

Subject: Fw: Conversation with Little Johnny.............EXCELLENT!


A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Saturday, May 06, 2006

But would we survive several months in an RV together?

I am actually writing this on Saturday evening as I cannot post it yet for fear BT in MTL would read it and know that we are actually not in Toronto but by LB in Ottawa. DW and I are headed into MTL (Hudson actually) to surprise her family for their son's third birthday party. We said we were simply not going to be able to make it, but we decided "screw housework and all that other shit that is piled up waiting for us" and were going to visit family. Period.

Anyhow, this has been a rather rough week mentally for work. I have been going mental with the vast level of idiocy we employ as simple common sense is soooo very absent. I also have been constantly aghast at how big, monopolistic companies have their heads shoved so far up their butts that they cannot execute the simple tasks anymore without tripping over the left over enema that they left inserted on the last attempt to clear their thoughts. But, I digress.

Friday was especially difficult as a record number of high priority, and thus highly visible, tickets came through. In fact, I was working on a couple right through the NBA playoff game we were watching. Due to this, and the lack of sleep as a result, it simply made no sense to leave that night as planned. We both fell to sleep and DW, as the poor woman often has to do, went to bed after several failed attempts to waken me from my deep sleep. I eventually got up around 1:30AM and tried to get a few things done before we left that needed doing. Of course, that meant when DW came down into the dungeon around 5:30AM, I was still up and used any time for sleep up as we would soon be leaving.

The toll of that erractic sleep pattern of mine meant some admittedly groggy driving. DW, having had a scary traffic incident one night on the 416 enroute to visit her cousin, is very skittish now about sleeping in the vehicle at all; driving or passenging. So, when I was droopy eyed and not keeping perfectly straight lines (no aggressive swerving or heavy braking to avoid an 18-wheeled semi or anything like that), she panicked and hit me. After lecturing her that the brightest thing to do to someone driving (especially if you suspect that they may actually be sleeping) was to hit them, I explained that I actually was still awake and doing fine behind that light-coloured four-door Honda. Since she could not read my retinal signature clearly, she thought it was time for me to get some shut-eye and let her drive.

So, we pulled into Newcastle's service station, popped into Timmy's (Tim Horton's for the rest of you), grabbed some hot chocolate, a caramel apple fritter and a carrot cake donut for me, and a non-toasted, sesame seed, buttered bagel for DW. You just cannot find good help these days as DW stood for a longer than necessary time in line only to have doofus read the order and toast the bagel anyhow. Good wife of mine did what any person in my family would do; she let him finish doing what he was doing, and when he was about to hand her that toasted bagel, enlightened him to his error. Bagel corrected and nifty tourist book full of coupons in handed later, and we were back on to the road. I was now feeling the effects of needed sleep so I took full advantage of DW's driving. She still marvels at how fast and how sound I can sleep in a moving vehicle. I keep telling her that sleeping in a moving vehicle is easy. Chances are if you get into a serious accident, you would have been killed before you were consciously awake, so now worries. :)

I was awoken by jerky car movement around Trenton's service station. I do not remember if DW said anything as I was fast back to sleep shortly afterwards. I stirred again around Gananoque and marveled at the time she was making, while falling right back to sleep. I woke up again, this time for good, as DW GENTLY shook my arm till I had awoken. She explained that she was at her end and needed me to drive. I must admit, and she knew, I was not happy as I tend to do 90% of the driving to anywhere these days. Partly because I like to drive and partly because she does not like to drive in the snow, the rain, the traffic and the dark.

OK, no problem, where the heck are we? Outside of Brockville?!?! Holy crap woman! What numbers were you clocking? DW protested that she kept around the 120Km/h area and I was simply imaging or exaggerating. I challenged the 120 mark but left it alone; know one's battles a wise married man once told me. So, getting awake, I sat up, put the chair back into an upright position, and we made our way to the next service station when all of a sudden there was this loud sound. What was that? That little strip they dig into the side of the road to wake up sleeping drivers and alert them to the imminent possibility that they will die a fiery, painful death if they continue in the direction of the concrete barrier or gully/ditch they were currently aiming towards.

I had to laugh. I point out to DW that while she thought my droopy eyed, swerving self was falling asleep on the road, I did NOT run onto the rumble strip. She tried to protest, but my point was made. Rumble strip indeed. So, outside of Brockville, we popped into the Esso in pouring rain, hit the head (washroom to the rest of you) and got back on the road. Of note, some people are still not teaching their kids (or themselves) that the little water taps are for washing one's hands AFTER you have sufficiently played with yourself at the urinal. I witness one kid for sure, and a suspected adult, leave the peeing area immediately after dipping the ladle. After I wash my hands, I used my jacket to open the door. I was not eating now but the thought of someone else's pee being wiped across the Roo's steering wheel started to make me ill.

I SMS the LB that we are near Brockville, change the drive to All-wheel (lots of rain, and I was driving now), and headed out to finish the last leg of our journey. Granted, we are driving a six-cylinder SUV of fair bulk, in four-wheel drive mode, so gas gets sipped a bit faster. I did not care, I wanted to get in, see the fam, and get some rest. So, TR and I, as cohesive a pair as DW and I, hit the road, ate asphalt and scared the shit out of some A4s, Jettas, and this sorry ass in a Celica. It was not long before we were in Orleans and coming off on Jean D'Arc.

I have always thought of winning some money or living off the avails of a sold invention or website, and touring the continent with the family for a few months. DW is going to have to lengthen her driving time if that is going to happen. There is only so much space in an RV and it is best not filled with tension. And sure, I will get more sleep in the process as well.

Ciao.

(EDITOR's NOTE: The LB and SIL and nephew are doing well, though LB was not feeling 100% at the time and the nephew was a bit sick as well. The SIL made this really cool chili that stands on its own as it is completely different than the one DW makes. LB, I still want that recipe!

The Montreal surprise went well, it was a great birthday party for the little lad, the families on both sides are funny and my kind of people, and we got a bonus as well. My Goddaughter brought her boyfriend and, since no one knew we were going to be there, was at once elated and scared at what I would do to the boy. I must say, he took the ribbing, and the threats of bodily harm, quite well considering they were coming from multiple angles and multiple times. I made him understand that I treat as my own and I WILL hurt him if necessary. I think he got the message clearly. Mission accomplished.)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

My dream ended on the highway, along with many others.

So, as some of you know, I won a seat into the Degree Poker Challenge down at Fallsview Casino, a bigger, glitzier place than Casino Rama. Anyhow, I still had to work yesterday so I got things cleaned up as much as I could and then DW and I left for Niagara around 3:30PM, leaving more than enough time to get there even with rush hour. Or so we thought.

I guess it simply was not meant to be as I have not been on a highway, even in the winter, that had FIVE consequentive accidents on it in such a short stretch. We took the Lakeshore route knowing that the Gardiner-QEW stretch would be taxed in certain areas, and it was; using Lakeshore was a stroke of genius by DW though as we bypassed most fo it and was soon sailing into Mississauga. And then it started.

This stretch of highway is horribly overcapacity and badly designed. And there really is not an alternate route if you have to travel further south into the Golden Horseshoe. So, forced to listen to AM radio (blech!) for the traffic report on AM680, we learn that there is something recent that happened between Ford and Trafalgar. Well that something was a two or three car smash that had metal, glass and plastic littering the road and two tow trucks at the ready. Ok, not as much an issue as we anticipated that and are more than fine for time. We went through that area and not really a big deal. Picked up some speed for about five minutes and then BLAM. What the hell now?

Well, back on AM680, we find out that there is a problem in the left lane at Bronte Road, and another at another road, and something at the mouth/connection to the 407, all in addition to the two or three cars we see littering the side of the road, one of which had a tow truck already backing up to it. However, all of these would prove nothing compared to the last issue in the chain.

The 403 is a funny highway as it starts where the 410 from Brampton ends, below the 401, winds its way through Mississauga and essentially ends at the QEW, then it starts back again through Hamilton and goes further west into the bush. Well, a lot of people in Hamilton and the surrounding region depends on this lone crappy highway to get to and from work. To my chagrin, they had a multi-vehicle pile up just inside the entrance to the extension within Hamilton that backed traffic up for miles back to incident number four. All winter I have not had to sit in traffic for a multi-car pile up but these asswipes are able to f**k me over in bright, dry conditions when I needed to be somewhere.

So, all of that resulted in a 3.5hr truck ride for what should have been 50mins at most. I missed my time by the time we hit Bronte Road. My only hope was that like on WPT in Vegas, they assign you a seat and blind you out until you arrive. The moment we passed the 403 packed entrance ramp, the entire highway was like it suddently got caught in an Oreck vaccuum cleaner; whoosh all the cars were back to 120KM/h speed, up from the 25KM/h we were just doing (to my American friends, that is approximaely 70Mph from 15Mph). We made very good time and found the Casino/Hotel very easily thanks to the fact it is freaking huge for the area and very shiny.

I had to drop DW at the front as either her kidneys were going to explode or she was going to ruin my leather. I then made my way into the sheltered garage, parked and went inside the hotel. I found DW, relived in every way, sitting by the funky front water fountain. We followed all the Degree signs to the back and entered with little hope but much realism. They were having some issues with the computer (Microsoft's best at it again) and when they finally got it back up (must have stepped out of the car and got back in), they took my info and entered it. That's when we heard the voice.

This slight man, who I now wanted to drop kick into the stratosphere, piped up that it was too late for me to enter. Too late? What's an hour amongst friends? Too much apparently and my heart sunk. I was consoled with a cheap goodie bag that DW remembered to ask for (thanks dear), the offer to stock up on as much free Degree product from the display that I wanted (I took one out of courtesy, but I am a Mennnen and Old Spice kind of guy) and the fact that I was amongst many schmucks that missed the tourney because of that damn highway.

It appears that one person called ahead to the casino to tell them about the accidents and the resultant crap heap we all had to wade through. Still, they only held it for twenty minutes and the rest fo us were thanked for our troubles and invited to lose some real money in their casino. Sigh. Well, I did not drag us down here for nothing. So, goodie bag in hand, the identification of all tourney losers as they exited the torunament, we entered the casino to see what it is like. Somehow, we felt like it had a richer feel, more money feel and was brighter than Casino Rama. We spent/lost more money than we wanted to or really should have been playing with but it was a nice experience and we have no regrets (except for that dang patio umbrella we had yet to buy).

So ends yet another attempt at some good-natured sin-city type fun. Maybe God is trying to give me a sign? Nahhhh, a sign would be different from anything else. This? This is just the par for course. My next attempt will be a full frontal assault on Vegas in November with some buddies of mine. Hopefully the guy's birthday we are supposed to be celebrating (AL's) with get his balls out of his lady's pocket long enough to be able to attend also.

Oh, and just for the record, this too was not my fault. :)

Peace.

Oh, what a weekend!

Last week, my good friend called in a little bit of a panic. Her laptop had up and died, potentially taking all her needed work data with it. While receiving various bits of advice, none of which were truly accurate, she did manage to remember me chastising her the last time something happened for not consulting me. No, I am not Steve Jobs, or Bill Gates or even the guys I work with who posses so much more knowledge than I do. I am, however, a geek with experience in the real world and I do know a few things. So my advice to her was simple: Don't talk IT with non-IT people!

Now, that was not meant as a slur against anyone who was truly trying to help her. It was simply a matter of fact from my point of view. IT people know things, have experienced things, or have access to things that the everyday person typically does not. You may ask your friend who knows something about cars their opinion on what that noise is but when you WANT to know what it is you go to a mechanic or someone with enough mechanical knowledge to make a difference.

Anyhow, I knew the laptop was beyond my meager talents but I knew I could save her data for her. I have a 2.5" drive enclosure that I could put her drive into and, barring any corruption or issues with the drive and data itself, I knew I would be able to get it all of so she could access it while the laptop was being repaired.

As it turned out, this was but the beginning of the task as her HP had virus issues, her IBM had sluggish speed and the Cicero, well, it was simply fracked and refused to stay booted as it reset over and over again. We considered this a working weekend so after she got here, we went downstairs where DW and I set about getting what we can fixed and most importantly, getting the laptop drive out of the laptop and imaged to a safe place.

In the course of this work, where not much sleep was had, we decided to take a break and join my other friend, DoubleD and his wife, at the Good Food Festival. The best way to describe this place is that it is like One of a Kind, but only with food and absent of the high-nosed crap that accompanies it. You pay twelve bucks entry and almost every stall had a free sample. Let me tell you, we ate and drank very well for the money.

On top of the regular fare (we picked up some meat, some bread and some skewers of shrimp), there was a stand from Weber promoting their BBQs and how to properly BBQ seminars. Not too far from them, Kahlua had a stand where they were blending a mix (cup of Kahlua, cup of milk, fill blender with ice) which they sold in shot like plastic glasses for a buck with the money going to charity. Well, we donated a number of times. We donated enough that they using us to sell it to other people coming up. They thought we were blitzed but we were just having a really good time being out together.

Afterwards, we really needed to head home to finish the machines so that they could go back home. DoubleD and his wife invited up to their place in Newmarket, but we simply had to get back to it. We did invite them to come down though if they could get a sitter since we would be able to drink and work at our place. Alas, only DoubleD could come as they were sitterless and the wife's feet were super tired. So, we checked out Kahlua stocks and realized that a run to the LCBO was necessary immediately as it was 9:45PM and they close at 10. Thankfully, we live five minutes away so that was easy enough. Let the blending begin!

To shorten the next series of events, suffice it to day that various levels of change were effected in the recipe and we tried them all. One 750 and half a magnum later, life was good. A couple of Def Comedy Jam shows and it was time to break up the party. DW, who was already long gone, headed to bed. MTL, who was mostly gone and slightly toasty, headed off as well (she would soon be back up as her son wakes early and he had homework to complete). I, on the other hand, had work to do and sports to watch so I headed back into the dungeon.

Lots of work, mostly successful except for one stubborn machine (the Cicero) which has a hardware issue, and the group left a happy group. The main HP home machine was operating properly again and a new, working AV application installed. The laptop drive was reinstalled into the laptop so it could be handed in for service while the image of it resided on the HP for access by MTL. The IBM was re-imaged and working fine with a clean install. And the frozen items were in a collapsible cooler bag so will survive the 5.5hr trip home.

Great weekend. Now, sigh, on to trying to do the same for my father's machine.

Peace.

CNN.com - Anderson Cooper 360° Blog

So the Americans are always coming down on us Canadians for allowing anyone into out country and thereby threatening the safety of the US by allowing them to cross into their country. I see. Hmmm. Okay. Let's examine this shall we.

There are areas on the reservation that borders Quebec and the US that has been used for smuggling dope, alcohol and cigarettes for decades. Hmmmm, could terorists have enter through this area?

There is another crossing further east that has one log into a log book that you have crossed in. Yes, ANYONE can log an entry and simply cross over in the US. Could terroists have entered through this area?

And last, but not least (and certaintly not all), we have this article where they actually expect someone to stop at a shack, pick up a barely working video phone, and call in their crossing to the officials. Could a terrorist, possibly, maybe, have crossed into the US through this area???

Do both countries enjoy a barely restrictive sense of travel between them? Of course we do and our industries mutually benefit from it. There is a lot of flack about Canadians having to show a valid passport now to cross over. We have used that for years as it is much harder to forge than the driver's license and the guards tend to trust you a bit more because of it. Get a grip people and protect the border properly. If you don't, then at least stop your unnecessary bitching about who is entering your country.

Oh, btw, I won't go so low as to mention all the ways the Cubans and Mexicans get in without much trouble and no calls for passports there.

Peace.

CNN.com - Anderson Cooper 360° Blog

ThinkGeek :: Skullcandy Cellphone/iPod Headset

They say iPod but it seems to use a standard headphone jack and therefore would be compatible with any MP3/CD portable.

ThinkGeek :: Skullcandy Cellphone/iPod Headset

ThinkGeek :: Blue LED Faucet Light

My LB's birthday is coming up so this might make a nice gift. :)

ThinkGeek :: Blue LED Faucet Light

ThinkGeek :: Build Your Own USB Thumb Drive

A very cool idea.

ThinkGeek :: Build Your Own USB Thumb Drive

ThinkGeek :: R/C Missile Launcher

Somehow, some idiot (but not any of my bosses) would find this unprofessional and get the rest of us in trouble. Too bad.

ThinkGeek :: R/C Missile Launcher

ThinkGeek :: Monty Python Mini Bobble Heads

I would like some SPAM(tm) with that please.

ThinkGeek :: Monty Python Mini Bobble Heads

ThinkGeek :: Bluetooth Laser Virtual Keyboard

Even if only for the ultra cool wow factor, this is one nice piece of technology.

ThinkGeek :: Bluetooth Laser Virtual Keyboard

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

When can I get one DW?

I have been a longtime fan of the Apple computer since the Apple IIe times.  I used to have an original black and white, all-in-one Macintosh and now, through work, I get to play around with a Mac mini.  I always considered that the Mac did things a little better than most, but like Sony, did not understand how to share the sandbox with the other kids so ended up being left out.  Well, they are left out no more.

I wonder if Gates and company regret saving Apple's hide with that infusion of cash a few years back.  Apple now runs on the same type of hardware (though not all of the same because they are the only manufacturers of their systems, where anybody can manufacture Windows PCs).  I would imagine that game developers are salivating at writing open code that can, for the most part, simply be compiled for either Windows or Mac OS X.  It means increased revenue for them and a more level playing field for Apple because the Mac community would not have to wait so long for game ports anymore.  Of course, with the rise of the gaming consoles, this could all be a moot point.  However, if we expand this same thought, one begins to understand why Microsoft may want to sit up and take notice.

I used to program in C and C++ for a little while (very little) but I understood that it was the flow not the platform that made the difference.  If you program in open source, then you can use a compiler that is optimized for the final platform your program will run on.  This would mean that developers could essentially write code once and be able to sell it for either the Mac or a Windows PC.  No more pains in the Mac community because a certain program was unavailable on Mac.  The Intel-based units should all but eliminate that barrier.  Sure, the various utilities out there may not have an easy path to work in both systems, but the other things should.

Which brings us to this little hybrid program that Apple has initiated.  No, they will not sell Windows on Apple machines (I think they would lose a good number of customers if they did that), but by acknowledging the inevitable (Windows running on these yummy Intel-based systems) and embracing it (by releasing Boot Camp), Apple has definitely made a huge mark in the market and if proven to be just as well working on their hardware, they will have opened up a huge stream of revenue.

Think about it.  I can buy some Apple hardware with the Mac OS X of the day thrown in.  For $200, I can then install Windows on that same hardware.  So, now I have doubled what I can do and how I can do it for shitloads less than just a few months ago.  Amazing.

So, Honey, when can I get one?

Peace.


SnapStream Community - SnApple PVR