Friday, August 20, 2010

Today's Funny (For Trekkies)

Submitted by a cool dude at work. A little dated but still funny (for us Trekkies anyhow).

Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!

11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if
Iam to do battle with this code!

10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
original Klingon.

9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your

8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software'
releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers
and quality assurance people in its wake.

7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have
'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the

5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again.

4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!

3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family.
Prepare to die!

2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you

1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it!
Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

In Memory of Dian Price

There are people on this planet that touch you and you do not know it. There are those that touch you that you wish did not. And there are those that touch you and somehow, profoundly, leave their mark on you forever. Dian Price's legacy will be felt for a long time. I am but a third-party observer in the grand scheme of things but the image is a lasting one. To be genuinely treated and welcomed in as family from first contact is an awesome feeling. Through her son, Dave, I've gained a friend for life that I know without hesitation that I can always count on. Through her grandchildren, especially Jennifer (whom I regard like my own daughter), I am privileged to experience their growth and triumphs in life. Through her husband of 50+ years, I get to experience the strength of love and the bond of family.

These things are immeasurable, intangible, and unimaginably precious. I appreciate having been a part, however brief, of Dian's life and can only work hard, and hope, that when my time comes to pass, I will have as many people looking favourably upon how I touched their lives.

Rest In Peace, Dian. You will be missed but you will never be forgotten.

Today's Funny

Ouch, been a while oh poor neglected blog page.
Submitted by Tom Thumb.

Ever wondered about Guts or Balls...?

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say: "You're next, fatty."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.