Monday, February 27, 2006

Monday Funnies

Two potatoes on a street of the potatoes is a can you tell which one?

It has a little sticker on it that says :I-DA-HO.


In Mrs. Jones' kindergarden class, she was attempting to teach her students colors and flavors using Life Savers. She handed a pack to each of the kids and ran through the gamut of candy.
"What color is this one?" She held up the cherry-red life saver.

"Red!" said Sally.
"Good," said Mrs. Jones "What flavor is it?"

"Cherry!" Sally squealed.
"Excellent!" said Mrs. Jones.

Mrs. Jones continued throughout the pack...grape, pineapple, then she stumbled on the honey life savers. The kids knew the color, but couldn't get the flavor.

"Ok, try and think about what your Mommy calls your Daddy" Mrs. Jones suggested to her students.

Little Johnny stands up...


Submitted by DW

No, it's not a game, at least not to the majority of people not holding the kind of power necessary to pull off such a scam of this magnitude.

Not sure about you but the more I read and see and hear about Bush, the more I want to watch Stephen King's The Dead Zone again to see if they really were not talking about him.

May we all live to see the end of his term. Amen.



A movie review

Submitted by Amitis the Great

Running Scared

I am just too lazy to write a review. You can quote me on your blog: “KICK-ASS MOVIE” – Amitis the Great! - Black: A divisive unifier

Link submitted by LB

This continues on the previous story. Again, and they say it outright in this story, there is the use of colour and how it is applied in the community to divide and conquer and otherwise very strong and purposeful mass. Sadly, I highly doubt that in my lifetime there will be much change. I for one will not allow my family to fall victim to the atypical "victim" state of mind. I am where I am because I CHOSE to accept things as they are. I have the ability to change it if I really want to. No matter the number of positive or negative influences outside that affect me, ultimately I make my own destiny.

Peace. - Black: A divisive unifier - Shades of black

Link submitted by LB

It is simply not enough to read the story on this page; you need to read the links to each of the identified families as well. Also, I think, though the story focuses on the "black" community, others can identify with this as well. If because your family carries a heavy British accent that it creeps into your speech, even though you were born here, people will assume (naturally) that you may not have been born here. Therein lies the difference though; you ANYONE in the black community, it is assumed that you had to be born anywhere but here.

Our child, and all our nieces and nephews (except for the Chicago crew) were born in Canada. First generation Canadians of Trinidadian parents; except for LB's son who is technically second generation (though mother was not born here); too confusing, let DW hammer that one through.

I think it is an interesting point that the article brings up and it also touches upon a problem in the so-called "black" community. While we may share a common pigment identification, we typically share little else. It is the strange catch-22 of our society. We are all lumpepd together when something negative happens, but we are all kept apart when attempting to foster something positive.

However, will we come together and be strong? Hmm, if I was a conspiracy thinking individual, I might be inclined to think that was exactly the point (just as it has been from the first day our forefathers were taken from the old homeland). And do not get me wrong, I am not playing the so-called "race card" or looking for unlimited sympathy. I believe that the past is to be remembered and learned from but we all must move on from it. It is time to stop looking for what someone can give to us and to start giving it to ourselves.

Our parents came here because they believed that we could get more out of life in this new country. no offence to my family in Trinidad, but when I go back, no matter what progressed has been made, I understand how good we have it up here and the things we take for granted. Hot and cold, clean runnning water at the twist of the tap. Instant on electricity. Fresh vegetables that do not cost a week's wages (one I will never understand since the lazy coconuts can just grow the damn stuff themselves in a humid, caribbean climate). COURTEOUS knowledgeable store staff (MY GAWD you do not know how much this one irks me). Roads that do not try, for the most part, to disengage the wheels from the axle. Safe streets (yes, it has gotten real bad down there). Health care. HEALTH CARE!!

Anyhow, there are many topics that can bridge from this one. I welcome comment or a start of discussion on any of them; don't be shy, there is nothing untouchable for me. Still, if nothing else, read the stories and think twice the next time "Where are you from?" pops into your head to ask someone. Simply changing it to "Where is your family from?" or "What generation Canadian is your family/you?" could make all the difference in the world to include rather than exclude the person you are talking to.

This is my Canada too.

Peace. - Shades of black

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Slashdot | In Sony's Stumble, the Ghost of Betamax

Sony needs to have its head examined. Even the Big Blue (IBM to non-geeks) learned the lesson that standing on an island proclaiming it is the best land leaves in one place; on an island, alone. Sony did that with Betamax; rest in peace. Sony did that with Mini-Disc; rest in peace. Sony did that with Memory Stick and UMD; rest in peace (yeah, they are on a lifeline with the PSP but consider them dead). Sony did that with a very stupid MicroMV format (MiniDV rules); rest in peace.

Now, they want to do this shit again withthe next generation of DVD products? Why have they not learned that people do not like to be pigeon-holed and told they have only one choice? We, the consumers, have many choices and it is an expensive manufacturing mistake to not listen. It cost the industry a lot of money in adoption time and bloody warfare when DVD-R and DVD+R formats butted heads at the beginnig of the DVD revolution. Eventually, both sides survived but they are essentially made moot by the device manufacturers supporting all used formats. This will not be the case here for some time and that means buying one and missing out on the other, or buying both and spending a lot for early adoption. Businesses will not do that and will buy whatever is bundled with the systems they purchase.

Microsoft will back and bundle one type, seemingly in spite or defiance of the Sony backed standard which will show up it the delayed PS3 (last heard, one year out now). To Micro$oft's credit, their solution will enable a change to the other format if things tank and sour quickly on their chosen format. The simple fact of the matter is that the consumer will once again get caught in the middle of this latest version of the Hatfield's and the McCoys. And really, why should we have to do that again?

This is 2006 and I for one will not be purchasing either format until they get their shit together. I did not buy my first burner until I had a real need for it (a Pioneer so I could easily use it with my Mac and PC). My second burner was an LG and it was the first multi-format drive that burned DVD-R, DVD+R and DVD-RAM as well as all CD formats. I suspect that a lot of early adopters like myself will sit this fight out. this will hinder price drops, development of products to take advantage of the new standard(s) and growth in an industry that seems to be grappling to provide new toys for us to drool over and spend our hard earned cash on.

We are pretty much stagnant in terms of what we want and need from a system. Hell, in terms of simply getting email, instant messaging, writing some docs and web surfing, those taks can still be accomplished by a Pentium-classed machine quite admirably. When Windows XP first came out, everyone said you had to have at least a PentiumII to run it; I first installed in on a Pentium P166 with 512MB of RAM to show it can be done and works fine for simple taks. Mind you, with all the crap you have to add to it now (i.e. virus checkers, spy checkers, firewalls, that pig SP2 and more), I am starting to find living with a Pentium 4 2.6GHz and an AMD 2600+ just a little bit too slow because I do a lot of video and audio transcoding so I need more floating point crunching power (maybe for my birthday, hint, hint).

Anyhow, maybe they will buy a clue and realize that two formats is the least desrible outcome and fix this before it gets out of hand.

And maybe Betamax will make a comeback.


Slashdot | In Sony's Stumble, the Ghost of Betamax

5 bodies with throats slashed found on Jamaican beach, west of Kingston

Slashing seems to be the method of choice this month. not sure if these folks were tourists as well but I think we will be sticking with areas actually likes people being there (hello Sint Maarten).

5 bodies with throats slashed found on Jamaican beach, west of Kingston

Submitted by BT in MTL

Subject: Fw: Alcohol Problem

A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a blonde lady who is sitting by herself.

Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"

Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."

Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"

Lady: " No, they spread".

Sicko Marriage Contract One For The Ages - February 17, 2006

Ok, normally I would have a smart-ass comment if only to incite the wrath of DW and her fellow females. With this, I got nothing and I am not brave enough to try. It is simply unreal. Are we really in the year 2006? I have to wonder sometimes.


Sicko Marriage Contract One For The Ages - February 17, 2006 : Super Sunday Ads - Bud Light: Magic Fridge

For those of you fellow Canadians whose grey and black market sat dishes no longer work, making you suffer through the atrocious ads overlayed by the simulcast rules of this backward TV nation, suffer no more. Go to this site and watch all the best Super Bowl Sunday Ads those dumbasses made you miss. Then leave me a note and I will tell you how to put that old dish back to good use. :)

Ciao. : Super Sunday Ads - Bud Light: Magic Fridge

Submitted by BT in MTL

Yesterday is history Tomorrow a mystery Today is a gift that's why it's called the present.


A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and it was too late to hit the delete button. Nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male!"

Submitted by BT in MTL

For those non too fond of Mr. on

Subject: OOOOPS!

Why Not?

Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.

"Just think," he said, "when I am president, I could have a gold urinal, too. But I wouldn't do anything that self-indulgent!"

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told face Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal. That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who pissed in your saxophone".

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Today's funny - Submitted by DoubleD

Adult Fairy Tales

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"

Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, ..Peter, Peter, something or other..."


PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.

Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"


One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.

"What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."

Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"

"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.

Guardian | School bans pencil sharpeners

What are we coming to as a society?

Guardian | School bans pencil sharpeners

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Ouch, she got me!!

Ok. MsMittens tagged me with this:

1. Thank the person that tagged you.
2. List 5 random/strange/weird things about you.
3. Tag 5 other people.

1. So.. thanks MsM! :)

i. I am very putgoing but I get lonely in a crowd.
ii. "Touch" is my most important sense; "Speech" is my most developed.
iii. I love musicals; Sound of Music and Mary Poppins are my favourites.
iv. I LOVE rollercoasters and scary-heights rides but I have slight Acrophobia .
v. I've never crossed the Atlantic, been further west than Hawaii, further south than Trinidad or further north in Ontario than Sudbury (and I still did not get to see the Nickel).

3. Mossy, Penny, DW (yes, YOU), LB (yes, YOU too) and Cricket; you're up.

For Geeks Eyes Only

VMware under Linux on the Intel-based Macintosh

VMware under Linux on the Intel-based Macintosh

For Geeks Eyes Only

A new feature on this blog. I'll highlight these posts that will typically only be of interest to gear heads like myself. Feel free to skip over them if it is simply not your thing; I won't feel offended. :)

Main Page - Mactel-Linux

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Tech Support

As an official IT person for, whoah, a decade now, it was inevitable that I became the family and friend's tech support. Now, as much as I am a geek who lives and loves tech, there are times when I simply do not want to deal with it and when I don't want to hear about other people's problems. These days that is everyday at work even though that is my job, but that is a post for another day.

Over the years, I did my best to get all my siblings (two brothers, one sister, two older, one younger) online and connected so that we can converse regularly across the Internet for free; that has worked out with mixed results. The LB and I talk via email and/or MSN almost daily and we videoconference when we have the time and working systems. The OB is an electrician and knows enough to be dangerous but simply is too stubborn to get into the flow of the tules and the wave of the good stuff. The OS uses technology but does not enjoy it per se like the three brothers; her son has that distinction while her daughter, well, nevermind her for now.

Right now, I have my father's machine sitting behind me for the last week waiting for me to transfer the contents to a different hard drive. I did that once already but either the drive or the memory is producing regular blue screens so it renders the machine unusable. I have had no real time to tackle it yet but I want it out this week. I also have to finish our daughter's computer so that it can go back upsatirs for her to use to do her homework. We will be instituting some new lockdowns on the network that will give us more peace of mind (read wiretapping) and stricter controls on her web access and such (see Dateline's How to catch a Predator III).

In addition, the OS needs me to help her with specing out a laptop (which I can do easily once I receive the info I asked for a coupel of weeks ago) and to help her with software to get her typing speed and accuracy increased (read Mavis Beacon, the only one worth looking at). The MIL wanted DW and I to assist her manservant, er, friend, in his new woes of computer issues. We built the computer, we rebuilt it, we fixed it again after that and we fixed his mail and virus issue once more after that before we but the kibbosh on doing any more support for anyone. There was a cousin too that I kind of speeched off about using the DW as her personal tech support whilst not showing any real family affinty and such; did not go over well but she uses a service instead of us now. I wonder if we will eb inviting to the pool party this summer? Ah well.

Anyhow, we simply have no time for doing it for everyone anymore but especially those people that do not go out of their way to learn anything to keep it from happening again. Thsi is 2006, not the middle ages people! So, we offed that situation to the designated folks they have chosen to look at the issue and offered suggestions with no hint of us being remotely involved in the execution of such.

It just rankles me as we used to get calls on Sunday mornings (sleeping) and Sunday nights (relaxing) for this stuff with no understanding that maybe, just maybe, they were intruding on our time together. Not to mention, no understanding on the time and effort it took to do everytthing. We had friends who insisted on paying us for our time when it took only an hour or two and family who not so much as paid for dinner when we sat working in their house for over eight hours.

Anyhow, to those of you who read this that I currently support, no worries, I am still there for ya. Newcomers and leeches, bite me. :)


Today's funny

Submitted by BT from MTL

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy Bob. So, they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So, they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do," said Bob.

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?

Now keep that smile for the rest of the day...

Monday, February 20, 2006

Obtained from MsMittens

George Carlin's new rules for 2006

New Rule: stop giving me that pop-up ad for! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. It's because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket - water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. Don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Yeah Canada!!!!

The Canadian women's hockey team has struck gold at the Olympics. The ladies completed a clean sweep at the games, which often saw them accused of scoring too many goals, ending with a 4-1 win over Sweden. It's Canada's third gold of the games.

Will and Grace (TV Spotlight) - ChristianAnswers.Net

Some of the strangest BS I have read in the longest while. Eevryone is entitled to their opinion and beliefs. I think that sometimes things go too far. that is why, Roman Catholic as I am and a staunch believer years ago, had to think again when faced with a very good friend who came out to me as the first person outside of her immediate family to be told. I was caught between my belief that it was wrong and my support for her and honour at her having that faith in me.

Today, while I still do not necessarily embrace the lifestyle (choice or not, which is a whole separate argument), I have no intention of denying another human being the right to live, love, and pay taxes like the rest of us poor slobs. Today, I know many people in the gay community and a few are close friends, no different than any of my other friends.

It may take a while, but I suspect that the world will eventually consider this a non-topic one day; just not today.


Will and Grace (TV Spotlight) - ChristianAnswers.Net

Friday, February 17, 2006

An Unbroken Review

Though I am just getting around to it, we actually saw the Oscar Nominee for Best Picture, Brokeback Mountain, a couple of weeks ago. Before I forget, the beautiful vistas in this movie are actually Alberta, not Wyoming (which has pissed off more than a couple of tourists). Anyhow, let me give you the basics of this movie without giving away the whoel thing.

Boy meets Girl at work.
Boy flirts with Girl.
Boy and Girl hook up a couple of times.
Boy and Girl part ways after work is complete.
Boy and Girl go home to their respective partners and lives.
Boy and Girl cannot get each other out of their heads.
Boy and Girl's lives get very complicated.
Boy and Girl have hard decisions to make.
and more.

OK, that is pretty much the standard formulatic approach to any love story in the movies. Now, if you have been under a rock somewhere, this may come as a bit of a shock: replace all "Girl" references with another "Boy" reference. Yes, this is a Gay Cowboy movie, but really it is an old fashioned, tragic love story. The fact that the characters are gay really means not a whole lot except for revelance to the current cultural climate.

The story would have translated just as easily to a black woman, white man in the era of 'To Kill a Mocking Bird'. True too for working class porter to rich socialite in the era of Titanic. Or even Greek and Macedonian. It really is about the love between two people who are not supposed to be togther but really canot live apart.

It is for that reason, this script and movie is making such an impact. And to think that a director more known for cheese and schlock and people dying and shit blowing up, Ang Lee has done an amazing job of powerful message within quiet restraint. Too quiet for some groups and too loud for others. These days though, the only thing I can say about the polarized group is: Fuck 'Em!!

Go see the movie. It's worth it.


Which part of DON'T drink and drive did she not understand?

Toronto Police Service Officer Charged

Friday, February 17, 2006 - 1:00 PM
Professional Standards

On Thursday, February 16, 2006, at approximately 7 p.m., police were called to the Finch Avenue East and Kennedy Road area for a collision.

It is alleged that:

- a vehicle, driven by Constable Gail Shields, 40, was involved in three collisions.

After an investigation, she was charged with Fail to Remain, Fail to Report Damage to Property on Highway, Fail to Report Accident, two counts of Fail to Stop at Accident, Impaired Driving, Over 80 milligrams and Dangerous Operation.

Gail Shields, Badge #281, a 16-year veteran of the Toronto Police Service, is currently assigned to the Training and Education Unit. She has been suspended from duty.

She was off-duty at the time of the incident.

She is scheduled to appear in court at 1911 Eglinton Avenue East, room 407, on Wednesday, April 26, 2006, at 2 p.m.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Today's other funny

Submitted by BT

Let's go shopping

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

Today's Funny

Submitted by BT

Subject: Nuns Shopping Spree !!

Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be
passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other if she
would like a beer. The other nun answered that would be good,
but that she would be queasy about purchasing it. The first nun
said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took
it to the cashier.

The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, "The
beer is used for washing our hair."

The cashier, without blinking an eye, reached under the counter
and put a package of pretzels in the bag with the beer, saying ...
"Here, don't forget the curlers."

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

CANOE -- CNEWS - Tech News: Microsoft venture adds to Blackberry woes

I am fortunate to own an HP iPaq 5450 PDA; this is the one with the biometric sensor. It is a nifty little tool/toy that allows me to jot down electronic notes, listen to MP3s on the bus (whenever that centennial occurrence happens), watch compressed videos, store addresses and maps, play games and surf at the Air Canada Centre while watching Raptor games (too busy yelling during Leaf games).

Now, while anyone that knwos me knows I cannot simply buy a piece of technology and leave it the hell alone, they will tell you that I strive for stability in its use. And therein lies the problem with this announcement. Microsoft, as stable as its products are now compared to the past, simply does not understand the low tolerance of favour for various devices.

The fit hit the shan when their Xbox and Xbox 360 gamin machines exhibited problems; when hae you heard the same of Sony or Nintendo or Sega machines having the same issues? What about their failed intelligent watch service? Or their super easy to use (and buggy) home wireless router division? And the list goes on and on.

Simply put, when it comes to consumer hardware, there are few areas where people will put up with the crap that we do in the computer industry. What if you had to exit your car and then get back in to get it going each time it stopped? What would you do if you put bread to toast and never saw the toast again no matter how much bread you put in? What if you were told that you had to get a new wife because the existing one could not get the new features you wanted added to it? What if the DVD/HD recorder (PVR) blue screened in the middle of the game and when you rebooted it, it lost all previous game information?

So, you see, when I hear that Gates, Ballmer and company want to take over the wireless communication world, I greet the news as bittersweet. I love having the Blackberry device regardless of the temptaion at times to make it one with the nearest wall when it is just going off from incessantly stupid email chains. However, it is a limited function device and i always wanted to have a single PDA/smartphone type unit that can do it all so only one item needed to be carried on my hip. The promise of this one unit, with all the goodness of the many units it replaces, makes the Microsoft announcement a good thing.

Now, if they can simply make it work with the ease, realiability and stability of the common cell phone or the ubiquitous Crackberry, they really could take over.

I'm not holding my breath.


CANOE -- CNEWS - Tech News: Microsoft venture adds to Blackberry woes

CANOE -- CNEWS - World: Saddam on hunger strike

Tough Shit! Let the bastard starve.

CANOE -- CNEWS - World: Saddam on hunger strike

Our flag turns 41 today : Baby's four-hour outdoor nap stirs daycare debate

Why would ANY of the parents leave their children at this place? All of them should have removed their kids immediately and had them shutdown and/or the staff and administration replaced. The explanation is pure bullshit and the only truth is condoned child abuse and endangerment. : Baby's four-hour outdoor nap stirs daycare debate

Print Story - network

Submitted by LB

Print Story - network

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Security Fix - Brian Krebs on Computer and Internet Security - (

OK MsMittens, if you can explain to the class why this is bad, when you have some time, that would be great. :)

Security Fix - Brian Krebs on Computer and Internet Security - (

Apple - Trailers - Water

OK, carpal tunnel is bothering me so I need to rest the wrist for a bit. Last one. Good one. Lots of critical praise for Deepa Mehta's latest. If you just said "Who?" you really need to get out of the house a little more. :)

Apple - Trailers - Water

Apple - Trailers - Cars

From the folks that brought you the Incredibles and Finding Nemo. Have to say though, from the trailers alone, I think they may have waited too long to release this and could get outshone this year.

Apple - Trailers - Cars

Apple - Trailers - Fox Searchlight Pictures: The Hills Have Eyes

I have something wrong with me to be watching trailers to messed up movies this late by myself. Looks good.

Apple - Trailers - Fox Searchlight Pictures: The Hills Have Eyes

Apple - Trailers - Pirates of the Caribbean 2- Apple Trailer Page

Looks as good as the first.

Apple - Trailers - Pirates of the Caribbean 2- Apple Trailer Page

Apple - Trailers - The Break Up - Large

Maybe we will finally see her boobies? Yeah, probably not.

Apple - Trailers - The Break Up - Large

Apple - Trailers - On The Outs - Trailer

A dose of some reality.

Apple - Trailers - On The Outs - Trailer

Apple - Trailers - The Inside Man - Large

A new Spokie Lee joint that isn't all political and shit. Starring none other than Oscar Winners Jodie Foster and Denzel Washington and a little guy called Clive Owen. Looks decent enough. For DW, it has Denzel so nuff said.

Apple - Trailers - The Inside Man - Large

Apple - Trailers - Thank You For Smoking

Strange one.

Apple - Trailers - Thank You For Smoking

Apple - Trailers - Lady In The Water

Mr. Shyamalan is back.

Apple - Trailers - Lady In The Water

Apple - Trailers - Match Point - Trailer

Uhm, whenever has a Woody film not had Woody in it? Or Humour? This looks to be his darkst movie ever. Very good.

Apple - Trailers - Match Point - Trailer

Apple - Trailers - Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor)

Holy crap!! Messed up trailer, wicked effects, messed up movie. A must see!

Apple - Trailers - Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor)

Apple - Trailers - Duck Season - Trailer

Looks like a Ferris Bueller type movie on a Sunday; in another language, I think.

Apple - Trailers - Duck Season - Trailer

Apple - Trailers - Something New - Trailer

Ah the crossing of the barriers theme, done again. Looks Funny though and some hot women so has got redeeming features already.

Apple - Trailers - Something New - Trailer

Apple - Trailers - Dave Chappelle’s Block Party - Trailer

See Phat Girlz for explanation. :)

Apple - Trailers - Dave Chappelle’s Block Party - Trailer

Apple - Trailers - Click

Quirky but might work.

Apple - Trailers - Click

Apple - Trailers - Hard Candy - In Select Cities April 14th, 2006

Looks like one messed up movie. Gotta see it.

Apple - Trailers - Hard Candy - In Select Cities April 14th, 2006

Apple - Trailers - Barnyard

Not sure what to make of this but could be funny.

Apple - Trailers - Barnyard

Superman Returns

He's baaaaaaaack!

Superman Returns

Apple - Trailers - Cache - Trailer

Again more for the film festival types, sure to be badly remade by someone in Hollywood. French with subtitles.

Apple - Trailers - Cache - Trailer

Over The Hedge - Official Movie Site

From the creators of Shrek and Madagascar. Freaking Funny.

Over The Hedge - Official Movie Site

Apple - Trailers - Running Scared - Large

So, I am addicted. Paul Walker gets roughed up but good in this one.

Apple - Trailers - Running Scared - Large

Nacho Libre Movie - Starring Jack Black - Directed by Jared Hess - Official Site

I just had to add this one.

Nacho Libre Movie - Starring Jack Black - Directed by Jared Hess - Official Site

Apple - Trailers - Dirty - Trailer

OK, last one. Just head over to and watch the rest yourself. Cuba gets mean and tough in this one. Looks like it is going to be a blockbuster year for movies with an unprecedented number of animated features to boot. Suhweet.

Apple - Trailers - Dirty - Trailer

Apple - Trailers - Phat Girlz - Trailer

What can I say? Will make the most sense if you have seen anything showcased at the Apollo, know what a "Def Comedy Jam" is or, well, speak phat.

Apple - Trailers - Phat Girlz - Trailer

Apple - Trailers - Bubble - Trailer

Probably best of you have either seen a previous Soderbergh movie before or like the film festival (which DW and I have attended every year from the first year we met).

Apple - Trailers - Bubble - Trailer


Wolverine kicks ass. May be the last stand for the group but rumour has a solo vehicle coming out for just Mr. Claws after this.


Monday, February 13, 2006

Apple - Trailers - The Devil and Daniel Johnston

Very Interesting.

Apple - Trailers - The Devil and Daniel Johnston

Sony Pictures - Open Season

Also pretty funny.

Sony Pictures - Open Season

Happy Feet

Freaking Funny!

Happy Feet

Happy Feet

Freaking Funny!

a href="">Happy Feet

Might explain Harper to the rest of Canada

Submitted by BT from MTL

The Saskatchewan Cow

The only cow in a small town in Alberta, Canada, stopped giving milk. The people did some research & found they could buy a cow up in Melfort, Saskatchewan, for $200. They bought the cow from Saskatchewan & the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, & the people were pleased & very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow & produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought a bull & put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull & he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset & decided to ask the local Veterinarian, who was very wise, what to do. They told the vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away" they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side & she walks away to the other side."

The veterinarian thinks about this for a minute & asks, "Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Saskatchewan?"

The veterinarian replied, with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Saskatchewan."

Today's other funny, submitted by Double D


In other news today, the bureau reports that the city of Toronto is
going to make sweeping changes in its math examination program.
School officials indicated a need to be more relevant to today's

NAME: ______________________
GANG NAME: _________________
TAG: ________________________
HOOD: ______________________

1). Little Johnny has an AK 47 with a 30 round clip. He usually
misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13
rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can
Little Johnny attempt before he has to reload?

2). Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio
for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street
value of the rest of his hold?

3). Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many
tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day
crack habit?

4). Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000
to make 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?

5). Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a
Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3
4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he have to steal to have $900?

6). Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit.
If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will
be left when he gets out?

Extra credit bonus: How much more time will he get for killing the
ho that spent his money?

7). If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the
average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed
with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint free?

8). Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in
his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

9). Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a boa constrictor
that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie
makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the boa
on one week's income?

10). Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph,
Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his
magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?
Subject: Fw: The police of Los Angeles ADULT

.....have recently had a lot of fun, when they were filling out papers to register a series of car accidents. As it turned out, drivers were losing control and running into other vehicles because of a giant women's pubis, which they could see displayed on the front part of an oncoming car.

The LA police started desperately looking for the unfortunate pubis and came upon the tracks of a young hairdresser named Nelly Node. Nelly's passion for arts made the young woman photograph her own crotch and put the zoomed picture on her Volkswagen Beetle.

Nelly decided to use such a shameless method to prepare her college course work, in which she analyzed the art of design. The witty student's idea worked for the college professors: she was proudly driving her "pubic beetle" until the police arrested the woman.

The court ruled that Nelly's car was creating a dangerous situation on the roads: the girl had to paint over her car's hood.

Here's a picture of her VW "before" she had to repaint it.
 Posted by Picasa

A funny geared to women submitted by my DW

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to prefer a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his a$$ while he is on fire. Further studies in this area have been cancelled.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

CANOE -- CNEWS - Weird News: First-grader suspended for sex harassment

I would still be breaking rocks and making license plates if these laws existed during my school days. While the children need to be taught about boundries and what is right, no question there, this is definitely not the way to do it. Simply ridiculous.


CANOE -- CNEWS - Weird News: First-grader suspended for sex harassment

Kelly Clarkson is huge BEEYATCH!!

Anyone that watched the way-too-big-for-itself Grammys last night will not believe the tripe that Kelly Clarkson spewed when asked why she did not thank American Idol directly. Ms. Clarkson should take note that the very fact that someone asked he about it last night means that the controversy is not going away and it is not looking good on her. If she really believes that any publicity is good publicity, maybe she should do a little reading and research by following the news items and record sales from one Mrs. Brittney Spears-Federline.

No one is begrudging Ms. Clarkson her fame and fortune (though to choose her over Mariah this year is an absolute sham), but she would not have been on that stage if the program she so easily shrugged off did not exist. AI helped make her what she is today by not only exposing her talent to the masses but by helping to properly mold that talent into a marketable commodity.

Make your money now girlie because if you do not catch a clue, you will be on the short list of the next "Where are they now?" show.


Print Story: Kelly Clarkson gets Grammy, omits "Idol" thanks on Yahoo! News

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Submitted by MsMittens

Official Announcement:

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from a Maple Leaf to a C0ND0M because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pri@ks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
It just doesn't get more accurate than that!


Considering Harper's first day decisions, this could not be more clear and true.

What about Canada?

Now that Steven Harper and the former Harris-government cronies have been sworn in as his cabinet, what do I see as the future of Canada?

Can you say "clusterf**k"???

Nothing good will come of this. Mr. Harper has eighteen months to prove me wrong and to make me eat my words. I will gladly post an apology and a retraction on what a dick I think he is. Problem is, I really do think I am right and I really do believe that we will be worse off. Do I think a change was needed? Damn skippy because the old world thinking in the Liberal ranks had to be purged. The idiocy of the gun laws and the stark refusal to change the Young Offenders Act/Youth Criminal Justice Act just lends fuel to the fire that change was needed throughout.

The issue for me always, and the reason I cannot be a politician, is the blatant hypocrisy that is taken as simply the cost of doing business. The biggest glaring example of this for me right now is the defection of that hypocrtical prick, David Emerson. When Belinda Stronach switched parties, she was vilified in the house of commons and in the media. Sexist comments about "well, she dresses well" when asked what kind of politician she was and how she was "whoring herself" to the Liberals to get a post for her defection are glaringly absent for this dickless wonders defection. The old boy's club in the media and in government is very obviously still in operation.

And so it begins, one the very first day, the true colours of the elected government are starting to show. Maybe they should have let the paint dry first or maybe people should have remembered just who makes up today's Conservative party. Another glaring example is that the man put into the role of having to work with Canada's largest and most populated city, is the same man who sat in the former Conservative government that helped cut many needed programs and devasted this strong province.

And they really wonder why they failed to get a single seat in any of the the largest cities?

It will be really interesting to see how they intend to pay for any of their promises when they are cutting the cash cow that their well-chinned predecessor put into place. Where are they getting the $1200 per child for the day care help they promised lower income families? And where is Harper sending his kids that he thinks he can get daycare for five days a week at twenty five bucks a day? How about, you dipshit, putting more available space out there so that both parents can leave the home and work, allowing you to tax the shit out of both of them, creating the revenue for still more spaces and whatever other hairbrained plan you could come up with using the surplus you will surely accumulate?

Sorry for being so political today but... actually I am not sorry. I don;t think I was political enough. And maybe, just maybe, I will eb able to change that come next election. See you in eighteen months. :)


She spoke so well.

Sorry, in putting that title up I am both acknowledging the truth and being a sarcastic twit abouta common phrase uttered in the US whenever a person of colour delivers a powerful speech; "he/she speaks so well". It is said in almost an air of awe as if it was not thought to be possible prior to seeing it for themselves. It is a phrase that was uttered often when it was looking possible that Colin Powell may run for candidacy of the office of President of the United States. Pathetic really. Anyhow, this is about more important things.

As my job currently affords me, I have the unique ability to work form home and in doing so I have the opportunity to be watching the funeral for the political activist, the mother, the advocate and yes, the wife of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mrs. Coretta Scott King. While everyone essentially knows the story of MLK, the work (arguably greater) of his widow tends to be overshadowed by the ever strong symbolism that continues forward from her assassinated husband. And in no way would I think of demeaning what Dr. King accomplished but rather I would seek to shed light on what his power, strong wife was able to continue to do for almost 40 years after his death.

Before the funeral, mourners had one last chance to say goodbye to King at the church. Schools closed for the day in DeKalb County, where the funeral is being held. On Monday, more than 115,000 mourners braved a chilly February rain to pay their respects at Ebenezer Baptist Church, where King's husband once preached, according to the National Park Service. The historic church is part of the Martin Luther King Jr. National Historical Site, which the park service oversees. The public viewing at Ebenezer followed one at the Georgia Capitol over the weekend. Coretta Scott King was the first woman and the first African-American to receive such an honor.

The tribute differed sharply from when then-Georgia Gov. Lester Maddox refused to honor her husband following his assassination.

You can easily Google for all the different things that the King family has accomplished and has endured all these years. I would not be able to do it all justice in fifty blogs; there is simply too much. I would encourage you to take some time and check it out.

During the funeral, of which the profound, funny and controversial parts are sure to be replayed ad naseum on the TV, in debates, in the newspapers and of course here online. Of note would be the words of Dr. Joe Lowery (sp?), Maya Angelou, Sen. Ted Kennedy, Honorable Mayor Shirley Franklin (Atlanta), the fumbling of former president George Bush Sr., former president James Carter and the extreme ovation for former president William Jefferson Clinton and his wife Sen. Hillary Clinton. There was music, there were political jabs, there were in-jokes and there was truth.

I think the best line thus far came from Bill Clinton though in that, "Let us not forget that there is a woman lying in there" and "the difficulty of success does not relieve us of the responsibility to try." It rang the most true and the most right and I tell you I would vote him back in at a moment's notice. He does need to give Hillary some tips though; she has the words but not the charisma and warmth.

Oh, and let me not fail to mention that I took great glee in the lambasting that Dubya took from a string of folks that came to talk. There were comments, mostly vague ones, about the war, about the violence, about the ineffective leadership. The most poignant, the most powerful of them all came from Dr. Lowery when he stated (paraphrased), in badly written poetry, "for war there are billions more but no more for the poor" seriously slapping the Bush administration that defends spending billions of dollars and countless lives and injuries (always the forgotten part of war) but has no money for social programs, to feed the poor, to house the homeless, to make medicine availabel for everyone. Dubya was visibly uncomfortable but I think he would have run out there if he had the chance.

Bush got nailed on many other points too. The "faces of Louisiana" was referred to by Jimmy Carter when he was explaining that the fight for human rights continued. Carter also made mention that the Kings had their phones tapped, much like what Bush defends as necessary today. Saigon was compared to Iraq of today and on and on. The strongest salvo in the parade of politics though did coem from Bill Clinton who all but held his wife up for succession as the next president. The crowd roared their approval and Mrs. Clinton did her best to wuiet them down and downplay it. I guess things are back to a proper understanding in the Clinton household. Ahem, but I digress.

An interesting point made by the commentators on MSNBC (eww, damn Microsoft) is that Coretta King was a maker of two non-family kings. With her endorsement of Robert Kennedy in the sixties and Jimmy Carter in the seventies, she singlehandedly help them obtain votes that they may never have gotten otherwise. The other glaring observation was that at the end of a charged speech by Jimmy Carter, he was the ONLY one that did not turn to acknowledge the President and walked away without shaking his hand. They say the President did good by simply showing up in what would not be a majorly friendly environment, but I say that really is bullshit; he had no choice in the matter. His absence would have been much more glaring than him showing up. Besides, how many times will you get to see FOUR living presidents (Dubya, George Sr., Carter and Clinton) gathered in a single function?

Oh, while I am on Bush, he should check the tapes and see that he should never, EVER speak in public again without something written by whomever wrote his speech today. It is the single most coherent thing I have ever heard come out of his mouth. They should never let that man "think" and then open his mouth without it being scripted.

There will be many things said and many things that maybe should not have been said in this context. Regardless, I think that everyone should do as Bill Clinton suggested and remember that there is a woman in that casket and that a family grieves for their mother and needs everyone's support to carry the burdern that a legacy of being the children of the Kings have bestowed upon them. We may not be able to do it directly, but we can do it by making the work of making a better world that much easier for them. Let us fix things in our own backyard so that we may help our neighbour and our friends and our enemies. The question was asked many times in many ways, "what are YOU going to do now to keep the dream alive?" What are we going to do indeed?!

Mrs. King, you are free at last. Rest in Peace.

More Links:

Monday, February 06, 2006

Choking Game : Deadly Games Children Play : Passout, Space Monkey, Black out, Flatliner

Choking Game : Deadly Games Children Play : Passout, Space Monkey, Black out, Flatliner

The Education Wonks: This Deadly Children's Game Has No Winners - Thoughts And Ideas Freely Exchanged

The Education Wonks: This Deadly Children's Game Has No Winners - Thoughts And Ideas Freely Exchanged

It's not suicide and it is not a game to play!!

ABC News: Choking Game Is Deadly Child's Play

Oprah wasn't just conned, she was bamboozled!

A Million Little Lies - January 8, 2006

SuicideGirls > News > Technology > 3D Scan Your Penis

SuicideGirls > News > Technology > 3D Scan Your Penis


And so it continues. Think about people. This was over a CARTOON. What about an article? A book (see Rushdie)? A movie? A song? An opera? It sounds like I am being flippant but I am being totally serious. Where does it stop being ridiculous for them to do this? When does the world stand up and say we are not accepting this any longer? Does it really have to end in a mushroom cloud? Again?!?!?

I for one hope that is not the case but it is not looking good.


Our Lady of Cultural Differences

And herein lies the hypocrisy of it all. We can talk about you but you dare nto talk about us or we will kill you like the infidel dogs that you are.

Hmm, still thinking out my solution to this issue. It is not going to be pretty though.

Our Lady of Cultural Differences

A light in the darkness

And essentially from an unlikely source in the country of Lebanon where they realize that burning things down and uttering death threats everywhere is not a civilized method to get your point across. Why do these idiots not realize that only the weak, or unarmed, is going to be intimidated by the threat of violence?

Here's an analogy for you. If a gang goes into Beverly Hills and tells everyone that they must stop driving their expensive gas guzzling cars or die, chances are there will eb a lot of SUVs sitting idle. This does not happen because an equal and opposite force in the police ensures that there is balance. The same goes for an area controlled by another gang with a balance in firepower.

These riots go on because the police and armed forces will not fire upon the crowd first (unlike the army of Saddam Hussein that routinely did just that). The suicide bombers continue to be effective because there is no fear as an innocent person that one would be immediately shot if you crossed a stated line int he sand. So, the bombers are able to cross it, with multiple warnings and are able to get close to their tagets before someone attempts to stop them with force.

The civilized world is handcuffed by the moral ideals on how to deal with the extremeists. Surely, we cannot simply shoot anyone that crosses that line right? Of cours enot because not only will the civilized brothers and sisters cry out in outrage, so will the very people trying to kill us (and the ones who support them).

Now, think about this scenario. If one were to go into a village, ask for the terrorists to be shown to them so that the village can be liberated, do you think they will tell you who these people are? Of course not because the terrorists have already threatened them and their families with death if they say anything. Now, same scenario but you start shooting a person randomly, one by one until they are either all dead or someone speaks up. How long before someone speaks up? Yep, not very long. Say nothing and they die in succession. Say something and hope the liberators can kill the terrorists before the terrorists can kill you.

But of course, we don't do this anymore (Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now) as we are civilized nations and those acts are not considered civilized. As such, they will never be able to weed them out and will never win the war because when you are facing such a twisted mentality that does not have the capacity to stop itself, you are dealing with an enemy with nothing to lose and everything to gain. You would have to make the losses pile up so much that the gains no longer look worthwhile. no one is ready or willing to have that kind of blood on their hands... yet.

The day may yet come when the terrorists kill the wrong person or bomb the wrong area and someone with an itchy red button trigger finger wipes a part of the continent from existence forever. No one should have to continue to live in this kind of fear. Honestly though, I am not yet ready to push that button myself. It could very well lead to a loss than can never be regained; one's soul and humanity. People who have children, then train and brainwash them to strap explosives on their chest, walk into a crowded hotel lobby and blow themselves and many innocents up in the misguided sense of accomplishment for their goal have totally lost their soul and humanity.

I am simply not ready to become one of them yet.


Print Story - network

Today's funny

Submitted by BT (formerly Froggie #2)


Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!!!!!.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(England) A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Please send this on to any Canadian (or other) who you
> >>> will enjoy it as much as I have.
> >>>


Yes, Piglet! The lovely little pig from the Winnie the Pooh stories. Uhm, how do I say this? If the country that you want to go and live at has symbols that YOU find offensive, you have to choices. One, go to that country and accept that they have some issues. Two, stay the f**k where you are because it must obviously be better as it is bereft of these offensive symbols.

I am so tired of people wanting to impose there home beliefs on their new country. I thought the old ways were done. If you want to add to the essence of the country (as all immigrants are encouraged to do in this great country of ours), then by all means come in and SHARE what you know.

If, after we open our doors, or helped you escape or assisted in some form or fashion you leaving less for more, then say thank you and get to work contributing in a meaningful manner. I think there should be a lwaful clause that the moment you start pissing around and moaning about how it is not like home, we ship your ass right back to the land of the comfortable, where ever it is you came from.

I'm from Trinidad and as much of there I like to enjoy here, I would never expect my birthplace to be adopted as the way of life in my home country. Well, except for the disciplining of children and common courtesy; both of which are sorely needed in this place.



Jihad Against Danish Newspaper | The Brussels Journal

A very interesting article especially for the last paragraph. As I have said before, it is quite okay for everyone and anyone to ridicule, chastise, comment or corrupt the essence of Christianity but God forbid we return the favour. Maybe it is time that the most powerful Christian-based nations started to retaliate with "jihads" of our own for the disrespect that is shown our faith? After all, when you add all the Christian-based faiths together, we really do outnumber the rest.

Sigh, but that would be thinking ignorant like these dumbass, brainwashed, misguided assholes with itchy trigger fingers and misinterpreted sights of grandeur. And does the world really need more of them?


Jihad Against Danish Newspaper | The Brussels Journal

Anonther example of hypocrisy in the middle east.


Any excuse to start trouble.

Simply put it is alright for certain people and certain groups to shit all over everyone else but by all means do not offer ANY criticsm back to them or they will kill you. I always bristled at the term "western civilized world" when comparisons were made to other places but it is incidents like these that one has to start to wonder if there is not merit in the separation. This is no where near civilized and they simply will not move forward until they figure that out.


What's to say? He's English (and probably a ManU fan)!! - Message in a bottle: Don't litter - Feb 6, 2006

Go Bus Go!!!

OK, thta may read funny to anyone from Ontario. I am not talking about the GO bus. I am talking about Jerome "The Bus" Bettis of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Sorry, let me correct that; The Super Bowl XL Champion Steelers!!

Bettis leaves the game at the high and low of his career. While there is no doubt that he can still run and crash, he has definitely slowed down over the past few years and for a smart professional, he is not lingering on for the money. His team stepped it up and made history by being the first sixth seeded team to not only win three road games to make the Super Bowl, not only beating the top three seeds in the process but to also win the whole damn thing period.

Extra special to this is that they did it in Detroit at the stadium that Bettis grew up just a few miles away from dreaming that he would one day play in. Well, the Detroit Lions super duper suck so thankfully he went to a team that could truly use his talents. And now he retires a champion, before needing a walker to handle the ball and the fifth leading rusher all-time of the NFL. His path to the NFL Hall of Fame is most assured. Especially since there will be no controversy as he is one of the most likeable players to ever don a uniform.

Congratulations Mr. Bettis; you've earned a long rest.


A belated happy anniversary to MS and PS!!

What? That's all I wanted to say. G'way!

Friday, February 03, 2006

One should not drink and blog.

Sorry, that is a reference to an old Arnie movie, Raw Deal I believe, in which his wife was pissed drunk and baking a chocolare cake. While arguing and he is telling her he has to go back undercover, she gets mad and throws the giggling cake at hime but hits the cupboard, where it slides down slowly. Arnie then turns and says, "You shoul dnot drink and bake!" Classic.

Anyhow, I really should not write these things when I am upset because I get very lucid and very detailed. Not necessarily bad traits but not good ones if you want language tempered or thoughts, for that matter.

Anyone who lives around me, hands out with me or works with me will tell you, I am an extreme personality. I can be quite quiet and sly and sarcastic; passive agressive if you wish. I can also be quite volatile and sharp-witted, caustic, dangerously clear. The things is, when I am on the latter extreme, I do everyone a favour and tell them to keep their distance as I am not having a good day. I do my best never to bite anyone's head off and I apologize if I step out of line and do that to some poor unsuspecting sap. Some people are put off when you tell them directly to leave you alone because you are in a bad mood. Me, I find it personally refreshing as it saves me energy getting mad when you have stepped out of line and said or did the wrong thing around me.

Is it really too hard for people to follow that simple rule of courtesy? If life has pissed in yoru corn flakes, recognize that it is YOUR corn flakes floating in yellow milk, not anyone elses. Be mindful that the way you are coming across is not positive and either yell "fore" before you hit them over the head with your mood or simply stay off the greens.

Nuff said. Ciao.

Overdue political commentary.

Sigh. Okay, so my beloved Liberals lost the national election and therefore there will be a new Prime Minister. My local guy (Tom Wappell), whom I will be sending a rather snarky letter to, won again so that is okay. Yes, I stuck with the vote and voted Liberal again. I knew they were probably out but for me there simply was no other choice.

Now we have Mr. Harper, leader of the Conservatives in power. Hmmm. Forgot the usual crap, let's just be upfront on this shall we? This is the leader of a party that is the combination of two parties that were both on the brink of extinction. Smartly they joined forces to fight the powerful Liberals, but therein lies the issue for me.

The two parties that combined were made up of the original Progressive Conservatives (PC or Tories) and the Reform party. That second partner is where I have the most problems as they had confirmed racists that were kicked out of the party (only because they were stupid enough to voice their views in public). There is not a whole lot of tolerance in may areas throughout that party and as such, will never get a vote from me.

As for Mr. Harper himself, if there was ever a more wooden, non believable person to run a country, you would have to show him or her to me. For a man that has family values as part of his platform, including rescinding the gay marriage law, he has a funny way of showing it. On the first day after becoming PM-designate, he was shown to be taking his two children to school; one boy and one girl. As he let them off into the school yard, each turned and SHOOK their father's hand. Excuse me? This is the warmth of the nation we are to expect? A hand shake and a smile?

We are so beyond (*&^)(*&) nobody will get it until it is too late; nobody that voted for him that is. And on that subject, how about digesting this little fact. While the Conservatives won the overall election, they failed to earn ONE single seat of power in any of the three major power centres of Canada; Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver all shut them out. Now, when the business powers and cultural centres of the nation tell your party "Bite Me!", you have to wonder what is wrong with you.

Sure, you got the prairie vote (simply because oil money and greed is clouding their common sense), you got the small town vote (simply because they believe that you can actually do something for them an will) and you got the French non-separtist vote (simply because they wanted to try anything to get Gilles pushed out). Atlantic Canada still hates you, the highly populated areas hate you and the premiers are very concerned that you will not keep the promises of the outgoing government in terms of the federal funds for the various programs needed.

I would love for Mr. Harper and his group to do wondrous things and prove me wrong. I will blog it right here that I was so very wrong. However, I really believe that I will be back here in eighteen months saying I told you so and readying to vote the next Liberal PM into power.

Good luck Canada. Dubya's new best friend is at the helm.


Exams are done.

TC has finished her exams. She had Math, Religion, French and Geography, in that order, to finish off her first semester in Grade Nine. Her emotions were, in order, dang, yippee, yippee, yay. Math is the odd horse out and the reason for that is a long sordid story I would rather not get into right now. Suffice it to say that there are people on my permanent shit list that I may one day visit if I ever pass through Hades during my afterlife. Ahem, I digress.

Anyhow, we knew that math was going to be an issue so she is already resigned to the fact that there will eb summer school to raise her mark and fundamental understanding. Next semester will be bringing English, Science, Gym and either Music or Drama. She signed up for music but would liek to switch to drama as the ham in all of us is emerging. We have to wait to see if they are able to allow the switch though.

All in all though, we have to say that TC did better than we first expected. We still have to help her get more organized and focussed but we really cannot complain with the results so far.

At least she does not hate school.


The game. Is. On.

Oy! DW does it again. And yes honey, I am posting it in the hopes that sometime in my lifetime it will stop. There we are, in the basement (the inner sanctorum), when we switch channels and put the game on. Sorry but in my world, that invokes the rules. Don't continue onto a new topic. Don't start new stuff about the items we stopped talking about for the game. Don't take so long to recognize the blank stare as you ramble on is to signal you that you have lost your ever-loving Vulcan mind.

Thank goodness I love her so much.



I have a quick question for you XX types. Why the hell can you not answer a simple question with a simple answer?

Leaving in a household with not one, but two XX types, I am constantly doing a virtual head bang whenever a conversation ensues and I ask a question. This is usually met with a stream of sentences, paragraphs, dialogue, monolgoues, all sorts of things except for one: the answer to my question! I almost always end up either interrupting the stream of verbage or staring blankly into the ether as I wait for the end, a breath or some other pause in which I can ask for my question to be answered so I can move forward in life.

Seriously, it is not me just being rude. I am just a simple guy. The strange thing is I was brought up to provide an answer to the question asked. Simple. Concise. Short and to the point. It just astounds me that I get a play, a reading of a script, a proclamation or some other long winded diatribe for the simplest of questions that typically require a yes or a no.

So, my simple question to you all is this: is it genetically impossible for you to answer a simple question with a simple answer?

Oh, and please don;t read this as I do not enjoy conversations with the ladies in my life. I love to talk with them, hear about their day and discuss various topics. I just really hate not being answered. Promptly. Quickly. Succinctly. Understand?

Ciao. :)

Vince Carter is a hypocritical asshole!! - NBA- Carter warns kids: Don't be like Kobe

Where do I begin with this one? Do I start that this sentiment comes from a dipshit who decided that he needed to save his talent for when they traded his spiteful ass out of Toronto? Do I start with an individual who let down his team by not even attempting to work with the new crew to get better in this league? Do I start with someone who claims he does not want to be looked up to but is so quick to run his mouth whenever a microphone is near to deliver his brand of unsolicted knowledge?

Let me not misrepresent myself here, I am no Kobe fan (though he continues to do wonders in my pool), but I am much less a VC fan nowadays. I will forever remember the facial he delivered to Tim Duncan in preseason, the stunner he showcased in the Slam Dunk contest and, of course, the tea-bagging he delivered to that ill-advised French player who was stupid enough to step in the way and tried to take the charge (goof). Today, he is a shell of that, talks out of his ass and basically the only tea-bag he delivers is the one hanging out of his own mouth.

As the old saying goes, people who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Vince, just shut the (*&^)(*& up because we have a mountain of gravel to pitch at your sorrowful glass butt. When you have something intelligent to say, we'll tell you what that is.

Congrats to Bryant and to Prince and to any other player that can step up and rise to a level well above the others they are competing against. When it is done right, it is a thing of beauty. Good job.

Peace. - NBA- Carter warns kids: Don't be like Kobe

A Record-Setting Scorer Wants to Be Just Like Kobe - New York Times

You know, contrary to what dumbass Vince Carter thinks, Kobe's 81 point game does not mean every player is going to want to pad his or her own stats to the detriment of the team. That said, it does say something about the level or parity in the lower leagues when games like this are even possible. Should she have done it? Hell yes. If everything you put up goes in, why the hell should you stop shooting? As long as coaches allow this type of thing to happen as an anomaly and not the norm, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Oh the lighter side of things, I had to laugh when I read the article and saw that she was mimicing Kobe in more ways than one and not necessarily in the areas she really should be.

Here are two more articles on this record setting performance:
Newsday article

Newsday article 2


A Record-Setting Scorer Wants to Be Just Like Kobe - New York Times

Thursday, February 02, 2006

It has to be SUPER sweet to risk this kind of pain! Posted by Picasa

Oh, the things I could say surrounding this one. Something for nothing as they say. :) Posted by Picasa

Are you someone's 24/7/365 technical support whether you signed up for the task or not? Dilbert has a current series of comics dealing with this very topic. Enjoy. Posted by Picasa

Dana McCauley and Associates - food trends, cookbooks, concept architecture

Dana McCauley and Associates - food trends, cookbooks, concept architecture

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Bright Side of Life - Monty Python (Lyrics and Chords)

If you are not an MP fan for some silly ass reason or you just have not seen the Life of Brian in a very long time, acquaint yourself with this little ditty then go rent/buy the movie. This is dedicated to all the friends, family and co-workers experiencing any sort of bleak period in life right now.


The Bright Side of Life - Monty Python (Lyrics and Chords)