Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Eclectic does not even begin to describe it.

Eclectic. Referring to our music tastes and preferences, mostly mine, one can only describe it as someone taking an HMV and throwing it into a magic bullet. The resulting puree is what I listen to. Right now, I have discovered I am still part punker, part hippie. CCR, Deep Purple, Fall Out Boy and Theory of a Deadman have kept my mind sharp this afternoon. Yeah, I know. Totally messed up listening. that is it though, I love music. All kinds. Be it world, hip hop, dance, house (but not the shitty modern stuff), rock, punk (but not acid), not much into metal, love new wave/alternative (but what is that really anymore?) and all sorts of variations in between. Disco, Rap, Classical, Jazz, Instrumental... you will find them all in our music library.

More than anything else, I think I use music to modify or augment the mood I am in. I used to block out my family strife when I was in high school by slapping on headphones and getting lost in Sade. When I drove, I typically had a booming system so I needed something that gave me a beat to weave through traffic and get me there faster. The type of songs I had with me meant the difference of an hour going to Montreal sometimes. I used to listen to classical while doing my homework and to wake up to so I was relaxed. Jazz while I did housework because it gave me a nice rhytym. Kaiso and Soca when I wanted a rub up.

Even time of day changed my musical tastes. When Humble and Fred rules CFNY 102.1, that is all I could listen to on the way to work. Anything else and I was not a happy camper upon arrival. On the way home though, I needed WBLK from Buffalo because they played the "drive home zone" with remixes of the funky stuff. Theses days, Starting From Scratch (sorry LB) and his remix hours are preferred listening. It's the most I can take Flow 93.5 at any one time; many personal and political reasons behhind that one which I will save for another post some day.

Anyhow, one of these days, I will figure out how to dump just the Album names and Artists maybe and post them online. I am actually proud of the fact that we have done more than our share of supporting the industry over the years. To be honest, that does not mean we have not sought out the odd one track on a shitty album that we liked or rare and hard to find songs from another era (i.e. house music from the 80's) via the various means on the Internet. thsoe are the exceptions though as we prefer to have the discs to ourselves so we can define what quality we rip them to iPod at.

Anyhow, I must get back to other things. Just needed to post while this was in my head. BTW, a remix of David Bowie (one of my faves) and Queen' Under Pressure is playing in my headphones right now.


Wacky wind and wacky neighbours

Our LB is always of the mind to be nice and cheerful with one's neighbours. Generally, we susbscribe to this kind of thinking. The problem is when you deal with a level of ignorance that clouds that. On one side, we have a retired Italian couple. We can be on our way out on vacation and I just have to knock at the door, ask them to watch the place and pick up mail and newspapers and we are outta there. When we get back, we always give them a nice bottle of red wine and pick up ur stuff.

On the other side, there are four generations of a Muslim family living in a twice renovated house (or was it thrice). The second generation father is a very nice man. We get along with him and on son very well. Greetings everytime we speak, help with snowplowing the very long driveways, an understanding of personal space and everything else that makes a good neighbour. None of that has filtered down to the rest o fthe family who fours years later remain standoffish, distant and unable to understand the whole "my side, your side" concept. People who know us know how much we relish the idea of a new hose with no shared driveway and neighbours who understand what personal space is. No more people people not comig to our house traipsing across our front lawn. No more idiot basketball players using DW's car as either a bench or out of bounds marker. No more myterious dents, dings and scrachs on our vehicles. No more unattended children rolling down our front lawn or standing at our front door or blocking our driveway as we swing into it.

The pictures in the web album show a certain amount of guilty pleasure on my part. Normally, the father and I will work together to clear snow and clean up after a storm and such. No such cooperation with this lot (the father has since given the eldest son the house and moved down the street to another home). So, when they decided to clean up the leaves that had fallen so far (only half of the tree), they decided to only do up to the demarcation point, which is clearly marked off by their recently resprayed driveway which is much darker than ours. Even a have hearted attempt would have been welcome and we would ave acted in kind, but nope. So, since we were moving, and I remember what this time of year is like, we said fudge it and left the leaves to blow. It really blew starting on Sunday (so much so I thought DW's plane might get grounded) and ended up clearing most of what we would ave had to pick up in front right back onto their side of things.

Ah well, for everything else we have endured over the years, this payback is still a beeyatch. Tee hee. I am in an evil mood today.


Monday, October 30, 2006

Monday morning funnies

I was not going to post this now (as I am swamped with work that needs doing) but the stuff is too funny to not share. Thanks LB. The second one had me literally laughing out loud. Needed that today. Have I mentioned how much I hate a certain monopolistic ingrate nature of a certain company lately?

GMAC Insurance's 2006 National Drivers Test

Thanks to BT for this item.

I scored the same as my friend form the pond did: 85%. It's a 20 question test and is straightforward. Run the test and post your score in the comments. This is an easy one for you normal lurkers to finally participate and say hello.


Sunday, October 29, 2006

Coming Soon!

Sorry for the delay in posting the Cuba Chronicles but it has been one heck of a week with stupidity and ignorance by the bowlful. I reaffirmed how much I despise a certain large company and how many self-absorbed, dipshite people a small company like ours can hire at once. Always a fun time, I assure you.


Friday, October 27, 2006

JAM! - Dilbert cartoonist hampered by rare syndrome

Strange affliction. Stranger is all I could thing of is that limited edition (and probably very expensive) lithograph when Chuck Jones died. All it had was all the famous voices he voiced in the cartoon world with their heads bowed, off to the side in the dark and the empty micrphone spotlight with the captio "speechless" at the bottom.

Dilbert for the IT person really is the window into the stupidity that cripples all companies. It is far too early to lose that voice.

JAM! - Dilbert cartoonist hampered by rare syndrome

Autonet.ca - Taurus ready to say its goodbye: Sometime next week, the assembly line at a Ford plant near Atlanta will come to a halt, signalling the e

My sign-sake is no more. A sad day for the automotive world.

Autonet.ca - Taurus ready to say its goodbye: Sometime next week, the assembly line at a Ford plant near Atlanta will come to a halt, signalling the end of a family sedan so revolutionary that its 1985 debut changed forever the way cars look, feel and dri

Autonet.ca - Leasebusters partners up with GMAC: Leasebusters, the Mississauga company that specializes in bringing together consumers who want to get

I smell a rat.

Autonet.ca - Leasebusters partners up with GMAC: Leasebusters, the Mississauga company that specializes in bringing together consumers who want to get out of their lease contracts with those looking to take over someone's lease, has formed a national stra

CANOE LIVE - Words - Your Say: Which steps should now be taken in dealing with Watson?

I won't repeat the words I said when I heard about this story. Seriously. Do we really have to discuss this? Do we really need to debate what should happen to him? Does this really need all this attention?

The answer is an obvious no from top to bottom. The Americans stop people all the time with criminal records at the border, for much less serious crimes than this. Yet, it is okay for them to dump one of their own into our yard like so much unwanted garbage? They would not tolerate it. Why are we doing so?

He should have been refused entry at the border but once again, Canadians greased up, dropped trou and winked with our brown eye at the americans saying "Come on in." It's sad, and pitiful and disgusting and it has to stop.


CANOE LIVE - Words - Your Say: Which steps should now be taken in dealing with Watson?

When Insults Had Class

Submitted by LB. Definitely a show of how an insult can be clean and intelligent yet biting instead of simply foul and vulgar.

When Insults Had Class

Friday Humour

1. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

2. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

3. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

4. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

5. "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

7. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
-- Abraham Lincoln

8. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

9. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

10. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

11. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there
is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

12. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you
-- Stephen Bishop

13. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

14. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
-- Irvin S. Cobb

15. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in
-- Samuel Johnson

16. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

17. "He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

18. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

19. "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

20. "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

21. "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

22. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand

23. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

24. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address
on it?"
-- Mark Twain

25. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

26. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

27. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

28. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder

Thursday, October 26, 2006

CANOE -- JAM! - Michael J. Fox fans slam Limbaugh

Politics is a dirty business. We all know this to be a fact. Simply put, you simply don't get so dirty that you cannot clean yourself. I am tired of hearing about Rush Limburgh and his holier than thou attitude. If ever someone's fifteen minutes should have ben up and be shown the door it is him.


CANOE -- JAM! - Michael J. Fox fans slam Limbaugh

LunaticLandlords.co.uk - Bad landlords - verify the landlord before you rent. Rate good or bad landlords and share your experience

As some of you already know, DW and I returned from Cuba last weekend to a spare room that had the ceiling cave in. I took some photos and we called the landlord to let him know. We are moving at the end of next month so it does not majorly affect us but we are still responsible for the place until we leave. Our landlord is a nice enough guy from Irleand but he is a bit stiff on the wallet (stretched between a real job and four properties plus home) and slow to react to issues. We basically took care of anything the four years we lived here except for major structural issues like power and plumbing and the garage roof leaking (though from the damage it cause, we should have done that one too).

Anyhow, when he came and was speaking to DW, she mentioned that I had taken some digital photos of the damage. He asked her to please make sure I do not post it onto badlandlords.com or some other website. I laughed when I heard this but then wondered if such a place actually existed. That google brought me to this site and I am sure there are many others.


LunaticLandlords.co.uk - Bad landlords - verify the landlord before you rent. Rate good or bad landlords and share your experience

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Come on now, is this really necessary?

You know me, I love new technology as much as I love oxygen. That said, even I have to pause and say, "Come on" every once in a while when the technology is for something that just makes people lazy or is really of no true benefit. The ability for a vehicle to park itself will undoubtedly save my poor Roo from further dings and scrapes in the future. However, I truly believe that if one cannot parallel park (the ultimate judge of your depth perception, control and patience) than one really should not have one's ass on any road I drive on. I love the Lexus line of cars and I love new technology and this is just super duper cool. I just want legislation that says you cannot buy this car unless your ass can park the damn thing on your own.



Today's Funnies

clipped from: humor.beecy.net

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...

* Innovative
* Preliminary
* Proliferation
* Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

* Specificity
* British Constitution
* Passive-aggressive disorder
* Transubstantiate

Things that are IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

* Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
* Nope, no more booze for me.
* Sorry, but you're not really my type.
* Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
* Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
* I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

Jack Bauer - Superhero

Nuff Said. LB, SIL and I have finally gotten DW hooked on 24. She is still just over halfway through the first season though so we have a lot of catching up to do before the start of season 6, which by the looks of this trailer is going to be the true poo.


FOX Broadcasting Company: 24
Muslim Islam Demo London Denmark Embassy

Famine brought this to my attention and it is clearly demonstrates the problem with our world today in many ways. First, we have a small group of fanatical idiots that are painting a portrait of all Muslims in a negative way. We then have the ability to view these images, thanks to modern technology, at what time we want, how many times we want. Then to top that off, we have the news media and print media happy to show us the stories that they believe will get them the most readers and viewers.

Life is being skewed around us and we poor lost little sheep are following. There are bad people in every religion; no one can deny that. The thing is, how many of those bad people blow you up for disagreeing with an idea, for an insulting cartoon or because you taught their women to drive?

Everyone are entitled to their own beliefs and religion and choices. I have a BIG problem when the selfish choice of others affects my way of life and threatens those I love.

The day this video depicts was a sad day for us all. It will be repeated which makes it sadder still. What level of violence is going to bring about true change? And if you think this world issue will end peacefully, you simply have not been paying attention.

Peace. Please.

Pumpkin carving templates

HP offers a couple of templates for free. Something to do if your house front is typically bare.

Pumpkin carving templates

Sunday, October 22, 2006

We're baaaaaaaack! There is a story to tell.

Our hiatus is over, unfortunately, and we have returned thus far back to a semi-normal existence in Toronto. So, there is quite a long story to tell but if I break it up into several posts, some of you will end up reading it backwards. As such, I decided that you will just have to bear with me and perform some scrolling. So here goes...

A couple of months ago, not sure if it was the end of July or the beginning of August, I decided that what my DW needed the most for her birthday was a vacation. She's been under some stress from work and some amount of stress as we try to move forward with our family plans and, admittedly, some stress from her husband (though he would claim it was giving the goose as good as the gander received, but that is for another post). Anyhow, I set about researching the vacation spots and also queried some friends about where they have been, especially my eventual top accomplice, BT from the pond.

I told very few people in the beginning (BT, BB at work and PS) because loose lips sink ships but also, since the date was way off in September, the less people constantly in contact with her that knew, the less likely I would seriously have to hurt someone for accidentally tipping her off. I decided that I wanted to go the week before her birthday and, it being a surprise, I thought the best way to do this was to make all arrangements without her knowing. Later, I added getting her to the airport, sending her on a bit of a wild chase and filming her reaction; this addition would prove problematic as you will see soon.

Not to bore you with the intricate details, suffice it to say that while I can fool the lady pretty easily, doing so over an extended period of time was a real pain. I actually thought I would end up at the doctor's from all the stress. From the time I decided to do this, I had to lie countless number of times, conceal emails, MSN conversations and money transactions (hard with a joint account) and lie about where the money was going to (my upcoming Vegas trip *truth* and my upcoming monitor purchase from my nephew *false*). The monitor purchase had fallen through some time ago and I relied on her inability to remember certain facts to allow me to pull that one off; it worked brilliantly. However, when you get used to a person acting a certain way, it breeds suspicion when they deviate from that path. She was definitely thinking that something was going on but she was not sure what. I covered many times by provoking small arguments (and one large one near the end of this when I almost gave up) to get her mind elsewhere.

So, everything was on track. I was handling the lady, I had the time booked off of work, I had contacted her boss and booked her time, I had started saving up the funds and I was narrowing down the desired destination. I even successfully danced around DW planning an adult gaming night on the first Saturday we were away (which prompted immediate emails from BB and PS). It was all coming together until an unforeseen factor entered the fray; my MIL. This was not a purposeful interruption since she too knew nothing but it was powerful enough to change my course. Some longtime family friends, ones that could not make our wedding, were going to be in Toronto the Monday we were to be away and she also wanted us to attend dinner on the Friday for Erev Rosh Hashanah. The latter I could have gotten out of but the former was a big deal. OY! So, on the week I was to book it all, we were to leave and the surprise was to be sprung, I had to change our plans; ALL of them.

I cancel my vacation at work, I contacted her boss and got him to change her vacation and I started anew on finding where we were going. It ended up that our most favourite day, Friday the 13th, would be when we would be booked to leave. For those not familiar with our story, I proposed to DW on Friday the 13th, my brother was married on the 13th and we were married on the 13th; the number is a lucky one for our family. Of course, the longer this thing dragged on, the more DW was asking questions, coming into my desk area when I was online with vacation deal places or when telling conversations with BT were on my screen. I worked around her being off the Wednesday before we left when I was supposed to be buying the tickets and I successfully got her to change a hair appointment to cut and colour it the same day. Thankfully, she left the next day (Thursday) to go to work and I was able to go and buy the tickets at the travel agency. I also rigged the money can so I would know if, after our last row, she went into it to check on the funds.

As it turns out, fate is a funny thing. Our current rental home has had, to put it mildly, some challenges recently and requires repairs that the landlord quite simply is not, and has never been, prepared to perform. We have lived there for fours years and it was time for a change. We had looked at a number of places but nothing suited what we wanted until we saw this place in Ajax. It was a large, never lived in, four-bedroom and 2.5 bathroom home. Unfortunately, it came with not-so-bright owners and when we made our offer, they turned it down over a decision to not eat one month (more details later). So, we continued working on this and found another house not too far from there but thought they would not be willing to lower the asking price on the lease. The intricate details will soon follow but in six hours we saw the ad online, called the agent, met her and saw the house, made an offer, answered some concerns, answered the owner's counter-offer and signed the lease. As it turned out, that was good for us, but bad for my surprise plans as we now had to certify a rent cheque, drop off the cheque, receive more copies of papers and another item. All this in the Thursday and Friday before we left.

Add to the rental madness another matter I had to deal with which also stretched over the last two days before we left and the fact that both parties were late on Friday conducting business and Houston, we had a problem. So, on Friday, I had to make like I was going to work after the morning appointment (which dumbdumb forgot his briefcase downtown and had to reschedule later in the morning, wasting an hour of my time), wash some clothes I knew she would want to wear, pack, visit the dollar store for Cuban gifts, visit CAA for new luggage locks, get some necessary work done and emails answered, meet the two people I needed to and then out to the lady to spring the whole surprise. I was doing fine until the packing at the end as I was delayed in trying to reduce the overstuffed bags to something that did not cost a king's ransom to get on the plane (bloody hell, when did the allowance drop so low?); this, combined with the delayed meetings, would prove fatal to my plans in the end. Oh yeah, it also rained and the f**king people in Toronto cannot drive when anything but clear, dry roads present themselves.

I finally headed out super late, hit LOADS of traffic on the highway and got to DW's office only 45 minutes before we were to leave. I gave my story with the look of dread on my face (the receptionist had to hold her laughter as I had to explain to her what was going on) and DW went off to explain why she had to leave to her boss' boss as her boss was out of the building (something else unexpected). We got going and was really cutting it tight. I got into the loop around Terminal 3 and gave up on the surprise, telling her in the car. Her immediate reaction? Anger. She could not leave she says. She had things on her desk she says. Her car was still at work she says. Covered. Covered. Covered.

I had planned all of it down to the last detail. My father was on his way to her work where the keys sat with the receptionist to her car. Her boss had already asked her for the secondary support phone for the weekend and was going to pack up and put away her laptop into the server room. The neighbour was going to gather all of our mail and newspapers and hold it for us. Our vacation time at work was booked off. Our families and friends (most of them) were notified. My MIL and LB had our flight and hotel info in case of emergency. Everything was taken care of to the last detail; everything except for me and the stuff I had no control over.

The meeting issues earlier were enough of a delay to throw my entire plan off course. While they had to be done and there was simply no way to get around them, we were buggered. DW was at the desk, I was parking, the Skyservice dude was not willing to help us in any way and, yes, WE MISSED THE FLIGHT!! Never had I felt worse than at the moment I failed my wonderful wife. This was to be the surprise of a lifetime, the perfect caper, the best thing I had ever done for her and we were standing there at the counter, ten minutes removed from a wonderful vacation. To her credit, the lady at the Signature Vacations counter did her best but there was simply nothing that can be done. Such is the new world order due to the terrorist attacks and the rising cost of travel. So, we were left to decide whether to forfeit the vacation or pay ridiculous money for one-way flights to get down to Varadero, Cuba on another airline.

My baby wanted a vacation and what my baby wants, my baby gets. While I was speaking to our travel agent, my LB called and was speaking to DW who conveyed the gory details of a plan gone horribly off the tracks. Special thanks goes to LB and family as he stepped up and got the flights arranged with Avion Travel and the lovely and helpful agent there. DW and I made our way back to the car in valet parking at the Park 'N Fly where they gave us a free day since we had not actually used the time. We headed back to her work where she retrieved her laptop, cleared her desk and briefly explained to her boss and co-workers and then headed home for a night's rest.

We actually got little rest as we unpacked everything and DW repacked it all (I had about three hours sleep in the last 48 so was pretty baked) until the two main bags were within an acceptable overage (7lbs). We got some sleep and then in the morning we went to the travel agency to get the new tickets, off to STC to reschedule her eye doctor appointment, get a battery for the camcorder, get shampoo from Shopper's Drug Mart and shoes at SportChek. Ok, we were running behind time but still okay. We headed home to pack the carry on luggage when we got a bright/not-so-bright idea. We had read that the shows at the hotel were pretty cheesy (they were) so we thought about LB's family with the little lad's portable DVD player and decided to pick one up on the way to the airport. We took some time picking out some movies to take with us and loaded up to head out.

A quick trip to Future Shop turned into a mini-adventure when the unit we were looking at on the display was not operational due to a bent pin. We had them fix this as we checked models. When that was fixed, we asked for that model and another person had to go in back and check for that. When he returned, he handed it to another twit who would not relinquish it as we told him we still had a CD case to get. We then had to tell senor dipshite to bust a move as we had a plane to catch. We left him in the aisle as we knew we could find the case faster than he could. We did, found him again as he failed to keep up with us, paid and left. Now, in the truck, we strip the parts out of the box, took out all the DVDs from the cases and placed them in the case holder and then headed off. Naturally, we hit traffic going north on Kennedy. I headed up the 404 back to the 407 for some good old fashioned law breaking because we were not missing this plane.

Naturally, there was an issue this time getting the car into the Park 'N Fly. Naturally, we were behind time. Naturally, by the time we got to the counter, they had started boarding and we were on the cusp of missing the plane AGAIN. Hell no!! We got to buddy at the counter who basically yelped that we needed to go see someone over at check-in as he printed the tickets for us. The young East Indian man was courteous and helpful while his bitchy broad co-worker decided that repeatedly telling us we are "very late" instead of helping her co-worker get it done was more helpful. Our bags were over the mark of course, and should have cost us about fifty bucks to send, but we were so late that they simply slapped "HEAVY" orange stickers on both and told us to run to security. We were running when yelping man ran after us to give us what turned out to be return tickets which we would never use because we were coming back on the flight we already paid for. We turned the corner and hit security where DW explained we were trying to make a plane and is there a quicker line. We got shuffled to the furthest one away and went through but had to wait as they did the wand test (sniffer for explosive materials). We then had to hurry down an escalator, past some shops and to the gate which was thankfully one of the first ones you hit.

There was still a line and we got in it, with about eight people filling in behind us. DW's throat had started to hurt but she decided not to pop out quickly to the shop behind us to get throat lozenges. We filled out the sheets that they needed to collect at the gate that the dippy twit upstairs said we could do on the plane and give to the flight attendant. We boarded the plane and settled in for our first flight to Cuba. Excited. Tired. And annoyed with the loud, ignorant, middle-eastern twits sitting behind us who insisted on putting a knee or something into DW's chair back, yapping much louder than is necessary on a plane and just being unnecessarily difficult and demanding to the rather competent staff.

At this point though, it mattered not. We were finally on vacation, we were leaving the wet and cold for the dry and humid. We were finally getting some rest. Hallelujah!!!!

Special thanks goes to my main accompli: BT from the pond, Penny Shagwell and B-McBain. Thanks also goes to the ladies at Avion Travel for all their help and support. And last but not least, an enormous amount of thanks and appreciation goes to our LB whom without the Saturday flight might not have happened at all. Much love.

To come in a couple of days, an account of the Cuba trip itself and some pictures (and possibly a video) of the trip.


Saturday, October 14, 2006

We are on hiatus!

DW and I are off for a week of fun in the sun. There is a L-O-N-G convulted, funny, sad, disappointing and ultimately fulfilling story to this journey. If I get a chance while waiting in the airport for the next couple of hours, I will try to fill you all in. Otherwise, I will do it when we get back. Enjoy.


Jobless man robs bank to get into jail » Bank Locater - Funny Shit, Hot Chicks, and Odd News everyday.

Jobless man robs bank to get into jail » Bank Locater - Funny Shit, Hot Chicks, and Odd News everyday.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

580 CFRA - News Talk Radio

Charges? Whatever happened to "ass whopping"?

580 CFRA - News Talk Radio

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Muki's Kitchen

Explicit images of women and food, in an artful setting. Interesting story behind the whole thing.

Muki's Kitchen

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Bollywood's version of MJ's "Thriller"

I bring this to you both as an example of how NOT to make a remake and also as my first selection for the Hallowe'en month of October. Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

My day - part one

Today has just been a joy to wake up to. Shall we? Sure, check out the following:

- awoke to find none of the work I planned to do got done while I was fast asleep on the devil's chair (AKA the couch).
- was too tired when I turdged upstairs to stay fully awake so it made it worse.
- left for work downtown much later that I had wanted to.
- AGAIN, dropped the bagel DW made me for breakfast as I exited the house (note to self, ask for sandwhich bag).
- got caught in rush hour traffic after a major rain storm, so idiots everywhere.
- taxi idiot decided that right turn only sign for this lane does not apply to him, holds up traffic so he can go straight.
- DVP highway idiot decides that the "do not cross solid line" rule does not apply to him as he weaves his POS car in and out of my lane.
- get to work parking garage, discover wallet still at home in OTHER black pants. Thankfully truck change is enough to pay charge.
- get to desk, discover network cable is at home. Thankfully, box being returned to vendor has one so I pilfer it before it is packed up.
- walking to meeting friends for lunch for dim sum, get hassled by a guy wanting to know if I take Jesus Christ as my personal saviour. I tell him it is a personal question which I respectfully refuse to answer since I do not know him.

And I simply will not (and can not) get into the work-related crap happening to day on top of all of this. Ugh, thankfully the day is nearly done. Time to head home and meet DW as we continue our quest for a new place to rent.


Today's Funny

Submitted by Hammy

There was this couple sitting on the porch in Westmoreland, Jamaica watching the sun go down. All of a sudden this shooting light went across the sunset.

Wife: "A wha dat?"

Husband: "A mus' one space ship."

Wife: "Spaceship???? You damn Eeediat!!"

A little while later the couple went back into the house. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the husband opened it. There was an alien couple on the doorstep.

Alien Male: "Good evening, we come in peace. May we rest in your dwelling while our space ship is fixed?"

The husband's eyes almost popped out of his head because the female alien had a WICKED body.

Husband: "Come een, come een. Of course you can come an' res' yuhself."

So the husband and wife fed and watered their guests and showed them to their room for the night.

Male Alien: "Where we come from it is our tradition to swop partners when we have guests."

Well, the husband was up to it, because the female alien was seriously turning him on with her looks.

Husband: "Well, dats alright with me."

Wife: "Oh, I don't know, because I don't really believe in dat kind of t'ing."

Husband: "Come on honey, is only a lickle bit of fun, an nobody nuh gwine know."

Wife: "Well, OK then."

The male alien takes the wife into his room, and, knowing that she wasn't 100% comfortable with the idea, he was very gentle and gave her plenty foreplay. When they got into the swing of things the male alien asked, "would you like a bit more length?"

Wife: "Likkle more length,? hee! hee!, a wha yuh mean? How you gwine do dat?" So the alien twists his right ear, and presto!, his willy gets longer. Well the wife was having a whale of a time when the Alien asked, "would you like a bit more width?"

Wife: "Width! Well, OK then." So the alien twists his left ear, and presto!, his willy gets fatter.

The following morning the wife wakes up with the biggest smile you can imagine on her face and walks into the living room to find her husband looking vex sitting on the sofa.

Wife: "Hello darling, did you have a good night last night?"

Husband: "Stuups ..... No! All night long di damn woman just deh deh a twis up, twis up mi rass ears dem".

Something to do

Submitted by BT from the pond

Pick the month you were born:

January--I kicked
Febuary--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

01-------a birdbath
02-------a monster
03-------a phone
04-------a fork
05-------a mexican
06-------a gangster
07-------my cell phone
08-------my dog
09-------my best friend's boyfriend
10----- my neighbor
11------my science teacher
12------a banana
13------a fireman
14------a stuffed animal
15------a goat
16------a pickle
17------your mom
18------a spoon
20------a baseball bat
21------a ninja
22------chuck norris
23------a noodle
24------a squirrel
25------a football player
26------my sister
27------my brother
28------an ipod
29------a permanent marker
30------a llama
31------a homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:

White------because im cool like that
Black------- because thats how i roll.
Pink--------because I'm NOT a homosexual.
Red---------Because the voices told me to.
Blue-------Because im sexy and i do what i want
Green------Because I hate myself.
Purple------Because Im cool.
Gray--------Because i was drunk
Yellow------Because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange----Because i hate my family.
Brown-----Because i was high.
Other-------Because i'm a ninja.
none------Because i cant control myself


So, apparently... "I choked... on a pickle... because I am sexy and I do what I want."

I can live with that. :)

Now type out the sentence you made into the comments (or into the subject line and forward to your friends).

ABC 7 News

People really have too much frickin' time on their hands if they have time to protest the Harry Potter series as trying to indoctrinate children into Wiccan. Seriously?!?! None of these people must have jobs if they can have the time to piss off the rest of the hard working population with this crap. They want witchcraft? How about we stone their stupid asses because they obviously must be possessed by the souls of previous village idiots.


ABC 7 News

First dark spot discovered on Uranus

It is an interesting piece of science news but, juvenile as it may be, the title simply makes me giggle and think, "One should really see a specialist abouut that."

First dark spot discovered on Uranus - space - 28 September 2006 - New Scientist Space