Sanctum Sanctorum Defiled!.

I've been good. I've been accommodating. I've been patient. I've even educated. All, it seems to no avail. I now have to resort to this, a public outing, to help restore that which is rightfully mine by nature's decree. I must reclaim the sanctity, the peace and especially the privacy and seclusion that is the lavatory!

As the title of this posts suggests, the lavatory (i.e. toilet, office, lounge, sanctum sanctorum, etc.) is a special place. It is where most men go to not only do their business but also to read up on business. It is where we get to read the papers without someone in the family looking to extract as of yet unread sections from you. It is where single thoughts may be carried out without interruption of another's thoughts, actions, sounds. It is where those magazines that have been piling up can get a proper going through (i.e. I can read MaxmiumPC cover to cover without disruption). It is where all bad habits may be exercised in their entirety without an audience (unless that is the sort of thing that you are into).

I used to basically have all that when we were in the old house. Once in a while, a needed interruption would happen to solve, sort or choose where DW and/or TC was stumped. Lately, however, it has been a free for all and I need to put a stop to it. Now having an ensuite in the master bedroom, I admittedly am more apt to leave the door open since the bedroom door is closed. DW somehow believes that this is an invitation to come speak to me. Uhm, how about, hell no?

Is the house on fire? No. Did someone get grievously hurt? No. Was the vehicle stolen? No. Is someone trying to break in? No. So, what you are saying is that you had nothing to do and this could have waited till I was out? Pretty much.

Oh, but it gets better still. Not only does DW decide that my private time is the best time to speak to me, TC seems to have developed the same lost of direction in the matter. The door is closed for a reason, child. It means that what is on one side of the door is not to disturb what is on the other side of the door unless there is a specific emergency (see examples above). DW also expands the issue from the use of the facilities to also include now the soaking in the tub, and my personal favourite (grrrrrrrr), the taking of the shower.

Now men and women will agree with me here. When one is in the shower, decent water pressure beating down on you, temperature close to unbearable but soothing to your aching soul, lost in a myriad maze of thoughts about the day and what still is left to do before sleep is allowed to overtake you, the last thing you want is to have that interrupted. Well, imagine then that I am the one in that blissful state (HEY, imaginations above the waistline section please) and it is abruptly disrupted by a semi-yelling woman, bursting into the bathroom, bitching and moaning about this idiot ADT saleswoman who seemingly has trouble hearing and understanding the English language when it is saying to "go away" (DW can post her lovely experiences with this woman and several other salespeople). Naturally, quite perturbed, I yell back exactly what I am expected to do in the current state of undress that I am. DW's response that she was not yelling AND that she was simply telling me about it gets me even more upset because my thoughts had reached what was the blissful equivalent of running across the fields to join your lost love while sappy music is playing in the background.

LB will tell you that there was little in life that could piss off our father faster than our mother bothering him to speak to someone on the phone while he was preoccupied. And he also smoked at the time so you know how well that went. Many an argument was started due to that defective female gene that has women disturb men in the office.

So, let's review life as it will be going forward. Unless there is a dire emergency, limbs or lives are at stake, an important decision has to be made due to time constraints, or American Idol is about to start, the inner circle, the sanctum sanctorum, the private office, is off limits while it is in use. Do not disturb my shower. Do not disturb my bubble bath (yes, I enjoy them... smartasses). And for the love of monkeys DO NOT disturb me while I am posting a letter, planting a tree, pinching a loaf, floating a log, spraying the field and/or enriching my mind with deep thought, reading and learning.

OK, I think I have some deep thought to go and "process" now. Ciao.