Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Things stressed women say at work

Things stressed women say at work
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1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet!
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 60 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
28. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

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Submitted by MAS

4 comments:

Theresa said...

Very funny post. While I don't tend to be sarcastic, I have been known to say 3, 4 & 5. On certain days of the month, I also remind co-workers that I will become more cooperative if they show up with gifts of chocolate.

Anonymous said...

Why is it I can picture MAS saying much of this sometimes?

"Help me understand..." :D

Dtrini said...

Theresa - I have said a few of these myself from time to time. i also like to explain to folks, "I'm not anti-social, I'm anti-people."

MsM - Oh, you know we can see here saying a whole lotta this and more. :)

Dtrini said...

Cricket my dear, I thought I was the only late-late night owl. :)