So, the Juno awards (the less extravangant, less glitzy, less relevant Canadian cousin of the Grammys) were last night and our hostess with the mostess huge breastesses had the opportunity to either show up as the knowledgeable, intelligent witty person I like or the dim-witted Barbie doll that MS and PS loathe so much. Sadly I must admit that she showed up in the latter guise in all its slutty, stupid, dim-witted, unfunny glory.
Everyone expected that she would take this national platform (as it was broadcast from coast to coast) to make her plea again for Canadians to stop looking barbaric to the rest of the world (i.e the world that contains female genital mutilation, genocide, tribal wars, holy wars and other such things that kill everything in its path not just cure little pups). However, her wittiest comment was how her friend Seal could not attend tonight for fear of being clubbed to death. This of course was met with resounding boos. She did not take the hint and went on to state some stupidity about preferring to seeing blood on the ice during a hockey game rather than the blood all over the ice from baby seals being killed on the coast. Yet another round of boos met her as the house, probably containing seal hunters, grew tired of this political, unfunny monologue. And calling it a momologue is being extemely kind because it did not look like the woman was able to string many intelligent thoughts together last night.
In fact, by the time she said goodbye for the night, in a very short white dress that she had to hold down as she climbed onto something in the DJ area and did her best impression of a desparate hooker looking for acceptance, I was completely appalled that she represented us for this prestigious music event. I am think that the Junos should stick with either really funny people, or musicians that can read cue cards with decent timing. This was a seriously failed exercise even if those wonderfully constructions of monumental effort were smooth, ouiled, tanned and barely held in. Yes, I am talking about those fake bumps in her blouse. Personally, I can see no fun being derived from being hit contstantly with massive balloons as I tried to extract some pleasure but it works for some people. I prefer my fun bags in the natural pack of two thanks.
So, as I do with DW, I must say the mantra because Pamela let me down. MS? PS? You were right and I was wrong.
Ciao.
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4 comments:
It takes a big man to admit it.
Maybe we'll get Mike Myers next year??
Bob & Doug?
second the mantra :(
I was hoping it would not be as bad as it was. The sad thing is I am pretty sure they knew exactly what was going to happen/be said/be shown (mmmmmm balloons).
Canadian TV - gotta luv it eh!
LB
I won't say I told you so, because I know you've had a huge disappointment. (I'm thinking it though).
I'm now glad I didn't watch the Junos and I'm thinking that perhaps if we find the management team, we should email them and suggest that perhaps next year, they should think with more than their dicks when picking the host for the Junos.
What say you?
I am definitely for letting them know what a poor choice Pamela Anderson was. You know, if it were Bob Hunter (God rest his soul) or Bruce Cockburn or anyone else that you knew really believed in the issue AND in Canada (as she is definitely not a rah rah person like Mike Myers), it would have come across as a sincere plea. Hers was very much a farce and a real slap to Canada. And what is this groundswell from the Canadian people they keep referring to? I'm Canadian and I think the changes they have made to the hunt over the years is enough for me not to oppose it.
Anyhow, PS, if you get that address, I will glady send my displeasure in the 2006 Junos.
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